29. Continuing to doubt self change and expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue doubting my expression from within a place of recognizing that beings within my experience are actually not ready to hear my expression and within that taking value from the relationships that I have and maintain within them. Not fully realizing that the points of disagreement that other beings are holding are actually points of evidence of change within myself. Doubting change within myself by way of believing that the relationships should be getting easier and more synonymous with other beings rather then the dissonance that I am experiencing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to invest a emotional state within the context of getting along with every being within my experience and not trusting myself within the equality message. Again relying on a point of wanting others to see the message for my own self interest within fear of the systems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold a point of reliance on my family members in which I am still to a extent wishing that they could see this point of view, not realizing that I am actually only projecting a point of not being self honest and directing responsibility away from myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow this point to manifest within my expression in a manner that is masquerading from within knowledge and information about the message of equality and oneness. Not actually fully expressing myself, but only partially from a point of not wanting to push them so far all at once, and not accepting anything less. Within this point I am actually only prolonging the point of change from within a point of fearing losing the relationships as they stand now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not standing in a committed way in which I am expressing from a place of not going all the way with what I am required to express. Fearing repercussions and outcomes of my expression and in such losing the actual point of expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to misunderstand where a being is within their process and not recognize the points that are being triggered through my expression in such that I am unprepared and not fully capable or self honest enough to handle my expression in context with these points at this time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself within a context of weather I am prepare or not and doubting weather I should express at all. Not taking into account that conflict within the interaction is a indication that change is really happening and to not doubt it or become fearful of the results and rather remain standing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see points of judgment that I hold about other beings points of judgement. Not fully realizing or understanding a platform of in which context I should be taking in regards to this. To express a point of recognition or to agree with claims of non judgment whilst it is clearly shown. Or not fully realizing how to deal with continuous denial of observations of judgement, whether or not to participate further or to stop the interaction and allow it to remain un-addressed.

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