62. Hiding myself, doubting myself, and fear of rejection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the prospect of rejection from another being in which I hide myself within what I am doing with myself according to my process in which I think that she will not understand and hold a belief that the message of Desteni is somehow beyond what most people are capable of perceiving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not hold trust within myself to be able to stand within self honesty in which I do not compromise myself for a point interest which in this case is to maintain the prospect of a relationship/agreement.

I commit myself to see that this is actually a fear of loss system, in which I am perceiving this interaction with this other being in comparison with ones from the past in which I would base the whole relationship on a hinge of if the other being would accept my beliefs.

I commit myself to stop basing the relationships that I have now on one based within my past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as if I need to have myself validated within how I see the world at present. Not seeing how this is a point of not trusting myself enough to have patience within my interactions with other beings and letting things come naturally in time and as a point of self expression through the living word and living action of myself.

When and as I see myself looking to find a point of self justification within another being I stop and breathe. I realize that I am attempting to outsource myself in a desperate way so I can overcome this fear of rejection.

I commit myself to understand that this will actually only solidify that same point and to stop myself from trying to control the situation. I commit myself to be self honest and trust myself within how I act within my interactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself constantly by placing a wrong and right mentality within how I interact with another being and not realizing that the only point of consideration is self honesty within the equality equation and if my words and actions are within what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide points from within my experiences and current actions like smoking cigarettes in a point of fear of rejection or repulsion and not realizing that the reality of those points are within my own responsibility, and that hiding them is a point of being self dishonest out of fear. And furthermore realizing that any point of rejection or repulsion from the other being is within their responsibility of judgment.

I commit myself to realize that from within a agreement with another being there lies a joint responsibility to place all points on the table within who and what we stand as presently and to come to agreement on where and how we would like to proceed within the relationship/agreement. Coming to decisions as to what is acceptable and best for both to walk as individuals walking together within a practical starting point.

When and as I reach a point from within the interaction with this other being in which I am faced with a point of wanting to hide something about myself for fear of her not accepting me and becoming less attracted to me I stop and breathe, and realize that that is the point of stopping this system and transcending it by being self honest and expressing the truth about myself no matter the mind created fear of consequence. Understanding that deceiving the other being will only lead to greater consequence within myself and the other being.

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