63. Allowing myself to get very distracted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become extremely distracted in which I can clearly see myself not choosing to remain in breathe and allowing my mind to run rampant within a continuous cycles around my interactions within this new relationship with this being who I have been seeing for the past few days.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to totally disregard what I have learned and have been walking where when I am not with her my mind is constantly thinking about her from where I am thinking of the time that I spent with her and analyzing and fantasizing about those memories.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to follow through with the commitments that I have made with myself within the context of breathing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how when I am with her I am more focused and aware of myself and breathe but when she is not around I fall into the mind and within this realizing that I am placing a point of importance and reliance on the other being in which I am seeing and allowing her as/to be more important then my relationship with myself. And in which I am allowing myself to get very attached to the points of being around her and not following through with what I have walked thus far.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my desire for physical intimacy blind me to what is actually happening around me in the reality around me. But letting myself become entranced by the prospect and memories of sex that I become severely dis-attached to the physical and am creating a cerebral reality when I am not around her.

I commit myself to realize and act from the starting point that what is within my physical reality is what is real and that while within the act of intimacy requires a full presence to be a true expression of self, and also that while on my own the physical reality around me is the reality not the mind created illusion of fantasy or reminiscence. I commit myself to understand that this is the normal function of breathe to always be within what is around me in the physical to bring myself back to the point of clarity in which I am not off somewhere in the mind dimensions taking away my experience of the present moment whatever that may be.

I commit myself to see that within a point of wanting to be with her or that I would rather be doing something else from what I am doing within that moment that I am actually creating a polarity within myself in which I am judging the moment within a less or more positive nature comparison based within my current level of interest.

When and as I see myself operating on autopilot in which I am performing a function but actually not really there in the physical moment but in my mind thinking about this other being or within a memory with this other being I stop myself and bring myself back to the physical reality around me and breathe, and breathe until I am fully back. And commit myself to see that this is about building a foundation with myself in which I will be able to live as a point of self trust in each moment no matter if I am with a partner or without one and that no matter what situation I am in I should not be affected from a positive or negative energy fluctuations.

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