74. Compassion

So looking at a different perspective as to why I delay and do not apply myself to my process of writing I noticed that on some level sometimes there is this point of not really seeing or caring about what is going on, or when I do “care” it typically is based within a starting point of emotion, instead of a physical action within a principal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I am delaying my process to a overall lack of compassion and basic intentional blindness to the separation in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the separation and repel away from it and am not willing to face it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within feelings like disgust, anger, sadness, disbelief when faced with world issues and believing that this is actually caring and compassion when I partake in a feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that real compassion would entail a physical action and application of self where one/I will make the necessary change from abuse of life to support of life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that this will take years of dedication to self in learning and in applying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let the scope of the task to rule over me within my mind in the construct that it is not even worth it to really start because it is such a tall task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how this is plainly a uncompassionate stance to take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how this has actually been a front-lining point within my process because it is routinely a hinge on which I find myself swinging on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how this is a point of deception created in my mind where I am making myself seem like I am actually a compassionate person because I am “caring” but I do not actually stand within a principal proving that I can be trusted at this point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with becoming upset and agitated at the prospect of not being a “caring” person, not seeing how this is a defensive state that I have created in my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take accountability for this desire to seem like a person who cares rather then a person who takes myself on within a principal of reestablishing the equality and oneness that I am inherently but have forgotten within allowing myself to exist within my mind.

tbc…

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