So I would like to write about addictions. I watched a documentary recently called “The Crash Reel” It really highlighted quite a few points and stirred up some reactions. The film was about a snowboarder on road to the Olympics that suffered a TBI. After being in a coma and a long arduous road to recovery the thing that really struck me was how much the mind holds on to the desires to continue a particular activity despite the risk. I have seen through my own personal experience how strongly these points of addiction become when we believe that these activities are us, are what make us up, to the point where I would forgo anything else for that rush and the feeling of achievement.
What really struck me is from what I have come to see and realize from the Desteni material is that all of these points of sport, competitions, events really represent is separation, to find out who is the best. To shake the pan and wash away the “slag” so the gold can bask in glory. But I can see how this glory is momentary. What is REALLY important here against the complete story of humanity? How do I still accept and allow myself to be this supporter of sport and competition when there is so much left to do within the world presently to ensure that LIFE can bask in glory, and not only a select few for moments that make up history.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become addicted to the idea of becoming better or glorious by way of competing against other beings in sports.
I forgive for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that within all sporting competitions there lays a element of distraction by placing all of the focus on the competitive aspect of the sports. Simulating the aspect of war in essence.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize what is really important within this life experience which is the recognition that life is the only real value or “gold” and that all competitions are really taking place within a ego/mind state of trying to excel, to be better then another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel these emotions involved with competition and empathize myself with sports athletes, feeling their ambitions and there disappointment, not stopping myself to see how it is really all a game laid out in front of me/us to push ourselves and doubt ourselves striving to be on top.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that there is no “top”, it does not exist except within the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subscribe to these idea’s of superiority, victory, glory, from a young age where I learned to define myself in direct correlation of others and how well I performed and competed against others within my childhood.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that this is the social structure that has been in place for the scope of human history and not allowing myself to see beyond it and realize a better way.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that within a equal money system and a global realization that all are equal and one competition and pride would change to a more intimate understanding of the individuals and of personal enjoyment rather then a grasping for momentary glory.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that as sports stand currently there is a very small scope of human beings that are able to gain the opportunity, funding, medical attention, and support to become professional athletes which in itself is a competition to even be considered to become a Olympian, and that within a EMS the opportunity for anyone from any part of the world could have the chance to enjoy oneself within sport.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how I have a addiction to the level of expertise and mastery shown within professional sports.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the attention given to sports and sporting events is actual a large mismanagement of time and resources where the real focus should be in creating a world that is best for all.
I will continue opening up my personal attachments to this subjects in the next post.