91. Taxes.

Taxes, taxes, taxes…. Taxes. In the past I have had a extremely anti-authoritarian stance towards doing my taxes. I never learned how to do my taxes as a child when I got my first job I was 14, and as I grew older I just never got around to doing/learning about it. Then as I moved into adulthood I started looking into all kinds of interesting tidbits like how taxes are unconstitutional, as well as all kinds of conspiracy points, and from there started developing a distaste for the governments and for the authority figures for putting me/us in this position of servitude. This attitude of abdication has continued on throughout my twenties until a short while ago, and I am now realizing that I am still facing this fear of giving into the system by doing my taxes. As well as a fear of retribution from the system for not filing for so many years, even though I have been told that if they wanted to find me they would if I owed money on my taxes. So here I will attempt to clear any kind of anxieties that I maintain and have had towards taxes within my experiences and self deceptions towards how I define myself within the way the system is set up currently, so I can actually learn how it works, become effective, and move past the fears of the system that still exist within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame this fear of doing taxes on another throughout my childhood, holding principally in my mind that it was my fathers responsibility to tell me how to my taxes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my to not become self directive within my own life and determining for myself what was required for me to do within attending to my financial understanding as a child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the word taxes as if it is like a word of personal horror for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use knowledge and information to build and sustain a deterrent for myself within my view of taxes, where I believe them to be unjust and inhuman.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place that charge of belief within me despite what taxes may represent within society where I am invariably not supporting myself within the system as it stands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep myself from understanding how the system is set up as it currently stands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forgo that understanding even though it would help me to better understand the solutions such as an equal money system, and a living income guarantee.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the retribution that I could receive for not filing my taxes for so many years, not seeing how this fear is actually deterring me from facing this point within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allow myself to look for support from others about what might happen when I do file and from there use the positive responses as a cushion to make myself feel better and OK with continuing to not move myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to support myself through keeping myself up to date within all of my current information and points of where I stand today.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand within this fear of the government, based within a sphere of jumbled conspiracy ideas and information that I have built into my experience over the years, not seeing how self honesty really is the factor in which I can express myself effectively within this world and not fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how the fear of taxes is only one point of a connected web of irrational fears based around money and survival, and that using the idea’s of a subversive government and plot within the world to fuel anger about having to pay taxes is only really causing myself more difficulty, where I could stop and walk myself through this point and then from there see the system for what it is and move forward with practical solutions rather then standing in defiant emotional resistance to it, ultimately saying and giving the system power over who I am here.

More tomorrow. Thanks.

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