112. Over thinking twice SC



So what I have realized is that at work I have had a difficult time trying to decide in what direction I lean in terms of what I should be doing when I give out extra food, especially when facing others opinions of what we should be doing I become defensive of my decisions and reasons rather then just trusting myself, I go into all sorts of mind backchat. Something to watch out for.


So when and as I see myself facing a situation in which another being feels angry or upset by a decision that I make and I start to question myself and my decisions, I stop myself and breathe and realize that there are points that I should be able to trust my own scope of the situation and not immediately and automatically go into a series of self doubt and backchat about.


I commit myself to trust myself within the decisions that I make if I am sure that they are both within the principals of equality and oneness and within the outlines of my job description.


When and as I am facing another beings opinion of how they are viewing my actions where they seem to think that I am not behaving correctly or in such a way that they would have done something different and I start reacting defensively, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that they can have a opinion of me that is not glamorous or preferred within my comfort zone of my self view but really what is happening when I react is that they are mirroring back to me something that I am not ok or comfortable with inside myself. I should be able to handle people not liking me or not agreeing with me without going into all sorts of doubts and backchat within my experience where I start justifying and judging others.


I commit myself to stop this cycle of self justifying mind chatter when it appears instead of letting it playing out through out the rest of the day to actually stop myself and apply forgiveness in the moment.


I commit myself to stop the system of caring so much about how others view me within this context of what I should be doing at work and understand that there will be many situations where my decisions will be criticized for there ethical merit so not to freak out or take it personally when it happens.


When and as I see myself becoming self righteous and proud where I denounce help from others in the kitchen for reasons of spite I stop myself and breathe and see how in doing this I am just really saying to myself that I am inflexible and unwilling to discuss situations practically.


I commit myself to handle myself within my work with a flexible outlook where I do not hold people within a judgement box in which I am placing them in automatically because I have not taken the time to explain myself clearly.


I commit myself to realize that if something at my work is triggering an emotional reaction within me that this is a indication that I am not having patience and trust within myself to explain myself effectively and deal with the situation in a practical manner.


When and as I see myself not allowing myself to understand where another being is coming from and actually taking everything that they are saying as a reflection of them as a separation mind consciousness, I stop and breathe and bring myself to understand that this is really my responsibility to change myself within the situation and understand that they are at a point within their process as well even if they are unaware of it, how I react and interact with them will have a direct result in how they move through their experience in that moment.


I commit myself to take on the responsibility of another being within myself understanding that the other being is me and a reflection of who I am within my own reactions to them, so becoming clear in my interactions with the other being I am able to stand as the example without compromise.


I commit myself to also see the point that all I am capable of doing is stopping myself from reacting, and that the lust for vindication is what was the initial trigger for the rapid succession of thoughts and emotions that flew through my mind in the first place, so committing to the point of staying present in breathe is really the paramount point to use as the flag point in these situations, and this is how I would take on another s responsibility, through my own self honesty in the moment.


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