115. Continuing 114

.

 

And so when and as I see myself going into emotional reactions about what I view in documentaries to the point where I start to lose myself within these reactions and do not realize that I am in fact not here but somewhere in my mind in conflict within myself over what I view as right and wrong within this world I stop myself and breathe and realize that I am here and that falling into a space of reactionary emotions is actually detracting me away from the only thing that is real which is this breathe.

 

I commit myself to see that getting emotional and about what I see in documentaries is counterproductive and that the point of exposing myself to this type of media and information is/should be to gain a better understanding of the nature of the problems that we as the human race have created and what life here on earth are facing, and thus gain a better understanding of how solutions may work and be applied within that.

 

When and as I see myself being pulled out of the physical reality I stop myself and breathe and bring myself back here and commit myself to realize that I am here as the breathe and not the emotions that come up in response to pictures of war and death.

 

When and as I see myself becoming invested within the/a documentary in such a way were I begin a system of comparison with the maker of the/a documentary where I start to view myself as being less then and inferior as a contributor to the world and I start to heroize the documentor then I stop myself and breathe and see that viewing this other being as being greater then I because he put himself in danger and made this documentary, is in fact pointless and commit myself to the point of clearing myself unconditionally of these comparisons so within myself I can become a effective human being who stands up for life unconditionally.

 

When and as I see myself lusting after this mentality of of those that put themselves in danger and terror to bring forth the story I stop myself and breathe and look closely at the point to understand that this is really a system of wanting to be recognized and to become famous, and thus commit myself to stop this system of wanting to be something more then others and really understand what it means to become one and equal with life which is the solution and and natural expression of this existence.

 

When and as I see myself fall into this trap of looking for recognition and fame I stop myself and realize that I am really only looking for a easy way out in which I can find immortality within the mind and consciousness within other beings minds and commit myself to the realization that this idea of living forever in another being’s mind is really only just an idea within my own mind and does not actually allow me to live forever, quite the opposite actually where what is passed on is a figment of life as the personality of me which is not real.

 

When and as I see myself living in a fear of what may come from standing up for life to the degree in which I start to feel envy and jealousy towards others that are showing me what the world is going through I stop myself and breathe and understand that this is the key to changing myself to become effective by committing myself to live within my breathe in each moment and stopping the mind is how I will take the lead of my own life and stand up for life in whichever way that I am able to effectively do so. And commit myself to see that jealousy and envy towards another who has achieved something to further unravel the nature of this trap is really like shooting myself in the foot.

 

When and as I see myself reacting to this media in such a way in which I start to go into myself feeling sorrow for those that are shown in the video, I stop myself and breathe and realize that I am not doing anything to help them in feeling sorrow for them.

 

I commit myself to understand that real change will only be possible when myself as a individual can effectively stand one and equal to all that I have accepted and allowed to exist as separation within me up this point in my existence, and from there moving as a group of other individuals that have cleared themselves, and not through feeling bad for people who are presently in a unfortunate situation.

 

I commit myself to realize that while the point is not to feel bad but to see the difference that to not move myself with urgency and recognition that this type of things will continue and be extended if I do not move myself within my process back to life.

 

When and as I see myself fantasizing about what I am able to do within my experience in which I wish or want to be some kind of hero type figure I stop myself and breathe and see that I am merely activating a system of self interest in which I want to be special and recognized and revered for that specialness and thus commit myself to stop this system of wanting to be more and feel like I need to be in the midst of danger proving myself as a hero, and realize what is really realistic and what I am capable of doing in this world and actually standing up and doing that instead of fantasizing and sitting down.

 

When and as I see myself standing in this point of wanting to save people from pain, danger, and death, I stop myself and breathe realizing that this is highlighting that within myself I actually do not understand or respect myself within life, and thus commit myself in realizing and walking through the point that death is unpredictable and may come at any time.

 

When and as I see myself living in a fear of death within the disguise of a longing to appear brave and daring within my life I stop myself and breathe and realize that this is a fear of losing myself as I envision myself to be as the perfect being who is a saviour, in which I am actually playing this idea around in my mind to make myself feel better about who I have accepted and allowed myself to become in through-out my life.

 

I commit myself to live in way that is not superimposing a idea about myself over what is currently here now but to work within what I current am and daring myself to face myself within my acceptances and allowances in actually become one and equal with those points of separation within myself by taking responsibility for them, facing them and becoming clear within myself, self honestly, through self forgiveness and practical daily application.

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