132. Committing to change



It is plain to me that this problem of consistency, priorities, and what I value within principles to live by are still skewed. I know that I need to place discipline at the fore front of my experience at this stage of my process until this becomes normal for me and I am not living within a mind created battle with myself were doing what is best for all is seen as a threat to me and my experience with myself, so when and as I see myself living in such a way that is against what is best for all in equality and oneness I stop myself and breathe, bringing myself back from the mind, and remembering that I am here and always have been here in the physical, but have only accepted and allowed myself to be taken off into other dimensions of my mind.


I commit myself to see that this is really a point of standing up for life in each moment of breathe, and never giving in.


When and as I see myself living within a belief that I cannot achieve this freedom from my mind, I stop myself and breathe and look to those that have walked before me and see how they have been able to take on there minds within this process and pull the certainty of process from their example.


And from there I commit myself to walk this through into my own experience and learn to express myself with the understanding that I have come to learn from others walking before me.


I commit myself to the understanding that patience and unwavering discipline is needed to walk this process and that this will not happen over night.


I commit myself to see that if I would like to see myself free from my mind the more discipline to sit and take myself on in self honesty the shorter it will take from a minimum of seven years, but also prepare myself for it to take longer if there is not sufficient discipline within my application.


When and as I see myself reacting to this process where I am not accepting myself as worthy of forgiveness or worthy of equality I stop myself and breathe and realize that I am the directive principal within my life experience and that if I believe that I am unworthy then I will make that so.


I commit myself to see that this is self sabotage through and through and that if I want to move forward within this journey I actually have to accept and allow myself the ability to simply understand that whatever I accept and allow to exist within myself is what I will be one and equal with.


I commit myself to realign myself with the actuality of the nature of reality as equal and one to and as life as what is best for all here now as this is the only scenario that will ensure the continued existence for all beings and expression here and that anything of the mind will only stand within self interest and lead to the destruction of life.


I commit myself to move past the allure of self interests and actually accept myself here as life in every moment, remembering that if I am not breathing that I am in the mind and if I am in the mind that I am not actually standing but I am lying back to the power and seduction of the ego.


I commit myself to stop the ego as it exists within me in many forms that will make it seem as if I have no choice but to participate in it and make me believe that I am making progress yet still being able to remain in the mind and so I commit to the solid true test of breathe when faced with a scenario of uncertainty, am I here, am I breathing, this is how I will know if I am life or ego.


When and as I see myself living within and as a fear of the void of infinity within myself which represents the nothingness left in the absence of mind and ego. I realize that this is the actual point of where I reside as a being where I am just a being of life nothing more nothing less and that I can exist in this with no danger or worry because I have never actually been anything else then that, except in my mind.


And so I commit myself to stop the mind because it is not real in the sense that it is not infinite as life.


I commit myself to leave all the ideas of a infinite expression of myself within mind and ego behind and accept myself as the equal and one nature of life that is here as all existence.


I commit myself to stop all idea’s, conceptions, projections to do with what this nature looks like, because within those points lies just the mind, instead focusing only on what I am able to work with here in front of me and on breathing, grounding myself here in this earth.


I commit myself to stop positive experiences and passing on this positive experience of myself attempting to make the outlook for others a sugarcoated version of how things are but to actually realize that I am only acting in self interest in such cases to maintain the mind within myself and using others as a justification mechanism.


I commit myself to leave behind the allure of the pursuit of positive experiences no matter how subtle they are and to realize the these experiences always caring a negative counterpart which is usually fear of loss or lack.


I commit myself instead to exist within stillness and silence within me and stop the mind when faced with chatter and judgement onto myself and others and forgive myself instantly with discipline and clarity so I do not have to hold myself back for longer then necessary, as well as holding others back within the limitations of the mind.




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