135. Multiple personalities 3: Acceptance within groups.

 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base this process in a place of value in and of only to my acceptance of myself within groups.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire this acceptance within groups and allowing this to be the prime motivation for me walking this and not actually doing it for myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the mentality of feeling like a outcast that was created when/as I was a child to influence me in my current approach to the way that I express and place myself within this world.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate my well being and peace of mind with the acceptance of myself within groups despite the principals that a group would live by, but rather if I am in contact with the group consistently, where I am acting automatically within a survival instinct to not “rock the boat”.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not act and conduct myself accordingly within the principals of the equality and oneness, and not realizing that this is the principals of the group as a whole as life.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand in inferiority of the group of Desteni which is the only group at present which is presenting these principals with integrity, and not realizing that trying to gain acceptance from other groups such as family or groups at work I am really only looking to gain self gratification for myself to build on a low self image of myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how a low sense of self worth is actually the reason behind this search for self image where I look for the energy of acceptance to fuel me within my sense of self.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to especially look for this acceptances within people among people within my own age group and within friends where I base my current identity within, not seeing that this system of desire towards acceptance works one and the same across all groups where I am looking for a form of energy transference from the group and will actually manipulate my expression/personality to fit the nature of a certain group/or being within the group to gain this acceptance energetic gratification.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see what it would be like to live apart from the desire for acceptance, to take of the proverbial comfort blanket and actually stand and see who I am in spite of other beings acceptance of myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking out/on this part of myself because it has represented a large part of the development of myself as personality.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear who I might be if people within my experience do not accept me fearing that other beings will not like me and using this as a deterrent to actually stand up within myself in voicing myself within the principals of equality and oneness.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear judgement and ridicule from others for standing within/for equality and oneness and not actually doing it because of this fear.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that this is just ego bullshit where I am not even willing to just face myself and am using the acceptance of others as a excuses to stay the same and not actually stand up for myself and stand up for life.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing that at some point that I am just going to have to face myself and that it is better to do that in this moment then to wait and postpone where the consequence are compounded.

 

Continuing tomorrow.

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