So picking up where I left off.
When and as I see myself not seeing the point of and importance of really voicing myself in self honesty I stop myself and breathe and realize that speaking my self forgiveness out loud and voicing myself I am actually providing myself with a tool of self support within this process of stopping my mind and understanding who and what I have allowed myself to become. And doing this in such a way that is a physical expression of myself here in this physical reality.
And thus I commit myself to stand here within breathe and speak my self forgiveness aloud whenever possible.
I commit myself to the understanding that voicing myself is actually a point of self support where I am learning to trust myself in the moment and in stepping up and actively seeing where I am standing within myself in this process.
I commit myself to understand the point that voicing myself within self forgiveness in real time is always a choice that I am making to explore who I am accepting and allowing myself to be or to continue on that path of acceptance and allowance of separation.
When and as I see myself living within and as this idea that saying forgiveness constantly is boring, I stop myself and breathe and realize that this is actually a point of not wanting to stop the stimulation within myself and only wanting to participate in thiings that generate energy within me.
I commit myself to realize that when I am classifying something to be boring within me I am really just saying that I am not ok within myself in the moment, accepting myself within that moment.
I commit myself to stop the belief that I must be doing something that is creating and causing energy to be created through stimulation.
I commit myself to stop believing that energy is what is really a definition of my experience in which something is fun or boring.
I commit myself to stand absolute as myself as breathe in the moment whenever I notice that I am wanting to exist within energy and stimulation, bringing myself back here into breathe.
When and as I see myself standing within a point of becoming lazy because I do not think that I am capable of walking this process in the point of standing within a belief and idea that I am to far gone to ever really make any progress I stop myself and breathe and really understand that I am do not need to buy into all of that and that I here, already, I just need to commit to walking myself step by step out of my conditioned self, out of the patterns and not allow myself to fall on points out of apathy for this process.
I commit myself to stop the misdirection of myself within and as this idea that I am unfixable and do not realize that this is actually a point of pushing through.
I commit myself to understand that this will never go the way that I want it to or expect it to because all of that occurs in the mind and that the unexpected and unpredictible portions of this process will be the points that will test me in my application.
When and as I see myself becomeing frustrated with the speed or the time investment of walking out a certain point I stop myself and breathe and really understand that this is not something that I can rush through and to accept the amount of time it can take to really see a point, committing to the process as one that can really be self supportive if I just leave all the judgements about what is happening to me or when at the door and really just apply the tools in a consistent way.
When and as I see myself in doubt about whether or not saying forgiveness out loud is effective for me I stop and breathe and take a look at the words that I am using. Realizing that if my forgiveness is clear then the words and the tonality of my voice should be clear.
I commit myself to realize that sometimes certain points will take long and require more time become effective, with many mistakes taking place and that this process is not going to be neat and tidy to begin with, but I am capable of making it more or less erratic within my approach and willingness to commit my time to myself in walking myself out of my pre-programmed self.
I commit myself stop bringing expectations to the table wherein I am really desiring to see myself change in a drastic way from writing, and I commit myself to realize that this does not work that way in such that writing is/can be the point of release of energy and that the actual change is a self moevement in physical application.
I commit myself to walk my writing in a consistent manner and realize that this is really is really what I can do to make this process easier is not placing experiential expectations on the results of my writing, instead just focusing on breathing in each moment, stopping myself when I am experiencing myself in the mind.
I commit myself to realize how I can see how effective my self forgiveness can be through the stability of my words when spoken aloud. Watching for the clarity and realizing that if there are many stops and interuptions that this indicates that this is being run through the mind intially.
I commit myself to progressively practice speaking forgiveness more and more over time to get used to it and to give myself the gift of directing myself in self expression.
Alright I will finish up in the next post as I deleted some stuff accidentally and ran out of time here before work.