154. Suppressive me 2.

 

Ok continuing.

I was writing about how this suppression can cause physical stress within me so I will pick up from there.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how I have become addicted to stress in some ways where I when I am not in a stressful environment I will automatically form stressful ideas and feelings in my mind to fill in the space so to speak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within this identify and associate my “normal” sense of self as the stressful character, and in doing so when I experience myself in clarity and calm I start thinking something is wrong and that I need to fill up that space.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to live effectively within being clear and recognizing the difference between clarity within breathe and suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that this clarity is something that is not forced like suppression within myself, and that initially clarity within breathe will be fleeting and short lived but as I walk I should be able to maintain silence for longer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see that this clarity is the only thing that I am “after” here and not see how this suppression is based directly within a desire to become clear, yet unwilling to walk the necessary steps within my experience which is taking myself on in all its forms.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place a unscrupulous value within clarity to the point where I lose sight of what this is representing where the clarity become some sort of prize to be obtained and I forget that what I am really looking to do here is bring myself back to life one point at a time.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to yet realize the reality of the time that will need to be put into this point and that the amount of time will be entirely dependent on the intensity of which I apply myself to me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to yet understand that a reason for the suppression is that I do/did not want to admit to myself that I have all these points to still walk and want and desire short cuts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self sabotage myself by giving in and giving up before I have even begun or put any real effort forward on the table.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within this process by and according to my application and that it is not perfect creating a cyclical experience which is negatively charged where I am not perfect at this time so I am not motivated to continue.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only reliable way to deal with this is to trust myself and breathe, stand within myself in each moment and see what is there without suppressing it despite it not being pretty or perfect or clear, realizing that in this moment that I can do something about it if I choose.

So within that when and as I see myself suppressing myself, my reactions, my thoughts, feelings and emotions, due to a fear of fear and failure I stop myself and breathe and stand up from the fear because I can realize that letting this fear control me in not being self supportive in any way.

I commit myself to remember that I am able to utilize the gift of self forgiveness with myself in any moment to clear and discharged myself from energetic responses and reactions.

When and as I see myself wanting to suppress as a way to cope with and manage stress I stop myself and breathe realizing that stress is created when there is a internal friction that is being generated and this is easily solved with the acceptance of who I am at this time within the mind instead of fight against who I have built myself up throughout time.

I commit myself to accept me as I am now and to just recognize that there are things about me that have to be addressed in space time and also that these things while being unacceptable will need to be walked out through time.

Ok I will continue with more corrective statements next post.

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