156. Suppressive me 4.

 

Ok so closing up.

When and as I see myself living in such a way that is avoiding the points that need to be addressed I stop and breathe, and take a practical look at my world in that moment.

I commit myself to start asking myself question like what are the triggers that started this thought that I am suppressing, if it was a person what aspect of the person triggered some movement within me?

I commit myself to ask myself why I would like to suppress the reaction rather then face it in the moment and deal with it to the best of my capability.

When and as I see myself becoming embarrassed in speaking forgiveness out loud or in public I stop myself and breathe, and remind myself that this is not about what other people are thinking about me but how I am in getting to know and realize me first for myself.

I commit myself to see how some points of suppression are merely from a point of not wanting to expose myself to the world in real time.

I commit myself to stop the fear of exposure that I experience when I am facing a opportunity to say forgiveness out loud or in public.

Also I notice that when I am unwilling to put myself on the line in a public arena there is a level of self distrust of what I am doing like I don’t believe I can do it or know what to say.

When and as I see myself stopping myself in self exploration because I do not trust myself to say the correct thing I stop myself and breathe, and realize that in that moment what I actually am afraid of is others judging me within what I am doing.

I commit myself to stop suppressing myself in the moment because of a particular fear of what others will think of me if the hear me speak self forgiveness aloud.

I commit myself to look past the insecurities of not wanting to appear strange and just learn to accepting myself for myself instead of constantly basing my experience off of what others will see me as.

I commit myself to realize that sooner or later I will need to walk this point anyways so it would be good practice to just start now and see what comes up.

I commit myself to realize that when I just suppress a point because I believe that I do not have the time or I do not have the space around me to say forgiveness effectively that I am missing out on a opportunity to take that point on directly in space time.

So when and as I see myself living within a secret world of desire within me and not applying myself with common sense and a self directive application I stop myself, breathe and realize that in that moment what I really am saying to myself is that I am not really trusting me to walk the walk of equality in oneness but I want to reap the benefits.

I commit myself to fully realize that this is not the point of the Desteni message or the point of walking myself out of my mind, and will in fact backfire since the desire that is placed in there is actually just another layer of mind created deception.

I commit myself to realize that time is needed to effectively walk out each point in real time and that the difference between suppression and expression is the willingness to explore rather then ignore the points that are coming up. I will not be able to get to all of them initially but if I am just tucking them away all the time and not attempting to even look at one as it comes up I am really just avoiding myself and not wanting to take the necessary steps within this process to actually practice the point of this journey, which is consistent application of the things that I am learning.

Alright I have reach the end of this point for now as I can see so I will leave it there but if anything else comes to the surface I will apply more forgiveness as it comes.

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