165. Paper Skeletons 4. Commitments.

 

So what I have realized about myself throughout this project is that I have been unwilling to look at the past because it really highlights the points of selling myself short when it comes to my relationship with money. I have never really been responsible with how I conduct and direct myself within the world of money and from there I have not really ever lived a way that supports me. So the next time that I see myself looking to just give up on myself financially and not take into account how and what I am doing with myself in regard to how I spend my money and keep tabs on myself financially I stop and breathe, realizing that this is my life and I need to be the directive principle within it.

And thus I commit myself to realize that while the point of becoming financially stable is to be able contribute to creating a world best for all the main point to recognize here is that this is a reflection of who I am as a person and who I am accepting myself to be, a responsible person who takes myself seriously when it comes to how I live, or someone who does not care and just gives into temptation and energetic gratifications.

When and as I see myself living within a pattern of previous self judgements and beliefs about who I am in regards to how I organize myself within my life, with the physical evidence of receipts in the closet and/or with the underlying system of conducting myself as a person who is not able to live effective choices, I stop myself and breathe. And from there I commit myself to ask myself if this is really the person who I would like to be, someone who cannot organize my own personal life, and ask myself if this is how I am accepting and allowing myself to be can I really make a difference like that?

I commit myself to see the point that this is really about becoming self sufficient in this world and standing as example of what we can achieve if human beings can stand within principles in life.

When and as I see myself recoiling from these tasks of actually taking accountability of myself in my daily life I stop and breathe and realize that this does not have to be viewed as a chore, and that really the only reason why I react to this point of facing myself is because I am so used to just following in blind faith the con of consumerist consciousness.

And so I commit myself to instead change this behaviour to one of self support where I check myself consistently for points where I am relying on thoughts, feelings and emotions, to direct me in my day to day dealings with myself and others within my world regarding my spending habits as well as my overall financial attitude.

I commit myself to build faith within myself in how I am able to direct myself with self respect and self trust and realize that this is the only kind of faith that has value because it is faith that has to do with a practical value of standing up within myself and directing me to a different and increasing understanding of who I am in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to stop placing myself within a inferior position to the patterns that I have always lived by and instead choose to live in a way that is effective in self supportive expression and in a way that supports life as best for all.

When and as I see myself looking to put myself within a feelings of superiority by spending money on others in such a way that does not reflect the capability of what I can afford and sustain within my current ability to raise money I stop myself and breathe, asking myself what is the real reason that I want to spend money? Is there a practical purpose to the purchase? If I but something for entertainment and fun will this put me back in any way that is going to put me in financial instability?

And so I commit myself to be realistic with my purchases as well as practical and stop just buying things for others on a whim to win them over into my good books at the expense of putting my ability to survive or be self supportive at risk.

Within that I commit to stop trying to manipulate others in winning them over through the spending of money that would ultimately put me at risk within my own stability of my world, and stop basing my own self worth and definition on if I am able to buy things or spend money on others.

I commit myself to realize that the only real solution where everyone with have all that the need is through equal money, but also to understand that in the meantime becoming effective at managing my financial world is a necessary step towards being able to participate in bring equal money into the physical world.

Also when and as I see myself living within self doubt and self judgement about if I am able to do this I stop myself and in that moment realize that this is all a choice to stand up within myself in who I want to be and just walking that path as a point of integrity, not allowing or accepting myself to be anything less and not letting myself be seduced into feelings and emotions and I commit myself to the understanding that these things will only manifest a instability pattern within me were I am not the directive ability within my world and am in fact a product of my mind.

When and as I see the mind directing me within my world in how I direct, and organize myself as the movements of money in my life I stop myself and breathe, and realize that this is really as set of characters that are being activated within me in relations to memories coming up and then activating a fear response and wanting to cover that up by not taking directive control of how I live.

And thus I commit myself to apply the tools of self forgiveness and self corrective application in the moments that I find myself leaning towards just abdicating my response-ability unto another day, and instead just seizing the time that I am gifted with one moment at a time.

Thanks that all for now.

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