179. Writing as self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the complexity of this process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly not have faith within myself in my ability to stand up as me as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself based within events and things that have happened in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself into constantly tricking myself within my writing to try and achieve something within it rather then have it be a real expression of me in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never give myself the chance to change and give me the trust to forge a relationship with myself in this moment which is all that matters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge self within the point of always wanting to become better then what I am in this moment, and basing myself in a constant competition and comparison of myself in other past moments. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be self honest within my writing where I am unable to stand in trust of what I write and in that form all sorts of points where I am not able to really come to any sort of conclusion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how that within this point I am constantly writing about things that I am not able to yet see the real point that I am starting with in my writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write from within a point of fear concerning myself and finishing this process which boils down to that lack of self trust in being able to walk myself to freedom.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consistently look for and allow myself to walk away from actually walking myself out of my mind, and instead constantly participating in the mind systems that I have always done.

And so within this when and as I see myself not standing in self trust when I write I stop myself and breathe and investigate in what is the point that makes me unable to stick to the point of what I am writing about and thus separating me from this present moment.

I commit myself to walk myself in self trust and not be afraid of where I am, recognizing that when I do this I am really just looking to appease my sense of ego and I am not really solving anything but am really just looking to hide within my words.

I commit myself to stop creating a scenario in which I make things to complex for myself to be able to comprehend.

I commit myself to realize that the real point is always what am I defining and accepting within the present moment and that if I am being pulled away from the point at hand then this is really the point that stands as the point of investigation.

I commit myself to stop using writing as a way to just prove to myself that I am doing something and remind myself that the writing that I do needs to be self honest to actually be effective.

I commit myself to stand within myself as the direction within my writing and make sure that it is not based within a energy or character based starting point.

When and as I see myself being pulled into a stream of thoughts or ideas about where I want my writing to go I stop myself and breathe and remember where I am standing in the moment and thus commit myself to stand as the principal of finding myself as one and equal with the present moment.

I commit myself to stop the fear of seeing myself as I stand here in this moment as something that must be address sometime else and commit myself to the realization that to become effective within writing that take things on one point at a time starts with working with what is here not.

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