181. Why can’t I just write for me? Pt.2

 

When and as I see myself placing a projection of myself within the writing that do for my blog I stop and breathe and realize the blog is really only a reflection of my realization and that the blog is not the end all to be all of this process.

When and as I see myself putting a value judgement on myself to write a “good” blog, which means that others will read it and like it I stop myself and realize that the blog then has really stopped being about me.

And thus I commit to recognize when my blog is being written for others and not myself.

I commit myself to only write my blog when I am certain that I am writing as a real expression of me.

I commit myself to see how when I am really writing for myself that it will not always come out as a work of art. and that when I see myself manipulating the way something sounds to appeal to others that I am not really writing for me anymore.

When and as I see myself lost within the reason or starting point of why I am doing this I stop myself and breathe and remember that this is really about bringing myself back here, back to this breathe and stopping the mind.

I commit myself to see how this standing up in me is a way that I can do my part in this world in becoming the most that I can be by being here in each moment, becoming trust worth and aware of myself so I can do and become the living principle of equality and oneness for myself first.

I commit myself to see that self investigation that is real can only be done when my self talk is real, where I explore myself through my writing and process of forgiveness in the moment, and commit myself to realize that this is really a point of personal dedication.

I commit myself to see that the value within dedicating myself to myself within this process is that this is a process of equalization with all life so dedicating my focus to myself in deconstructing myself is really a dedication to life as all things as learning what is best for all and aligning myself with that as a personal principle within my life.

I commit myself to recognize the pitfalls to want to become bigger and better then what I am, become more special within and appear more than what I really am within my writing image, and to avoid then with the simple reminder that I am no more or less then anyone else.

I commit myself to see how the writing itself is quite simple within its nature at this stage and to see how it is when I start to get to complex within the nature of the blog that I begin to get lost and lose the initial point of the blog and thus commit to keeping it simple at this point and just going with the flow of the writing instead of pushing to find the point or reach a finish line because this is actually manipulation of the writing.

I commit myself to write more outside of my blog to show myself that I am committed to myself and not just to showing others what I am doing but to gain personal perspective in what I doing for me and why.

I commit myself to realize that this blog is really a point of conclusion of the days realizations of what I have done and walked for the day, or a place to share something that had really stood out within my process, and not the pinnacle of my process where it is the only thing that I do.

When and as I see the past coming through in the way that conduct myself in writing where I am just looking to appeal to others as I did so within my past with my parents and peers I stop myself and breathe and bring myself back here and remember that I am really in this for me and forming a real relationship with myself.

I commit myself to forming and walking a real trust with myself in which I do not require to appeal myself and give myself over to the acceptance of other beings within my circle to stimulate a feeling of being adequate.

I commit myself to understand that become adequate is really a matter of becoming as effective as I can within my reality in this moment. Doing things in such a way that benefits me in realizing myself as one and equal in the fastest and least convoluted round about way.

All for now.

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