185. Value in a message.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place a greater value on one particular person more than another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base this value within things like familiarity, past experiences with the person, growing up together, not seeing how these experiences are and have been within a context of separation always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not recognize the actual reality of the equality and oneness as substance of the physical, where all beings are in fact one and equal so that and greater value given to one over another is actually a judgement of that being given to them within my own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want a particular being to change because I view them as being close to me. And through my own sets of value judgements I fool myself into sharing too much with another to the point where it begins to be about fulfilling my own needs rather than supporting the other being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I do not need to defend myself through my process and that taking responsibility for me within my world at this point is what I can do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to something another being said and felt like I needed to clarify my reasoning for future event because this other being I have valued as being close to me and “needed” them to understand.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand that while changing within me I can begin to see the actuality of what needs to take place in the world for real change to happen, and within that I do not realize that sharing certain things with the other really is not relevant and becomes less about sharing and more about defence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be triggered by another’s reaction to me telling them my future plans, believing that this has any sort of effect on me, and believing that I must have this particular beings “blessings” to move forward with this plan, rather than sticking to the commitments to living a principled life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to breathe when writing a response to this person and not seeing how this response then is filled with knowledge and information that is not actually relevant to the other being, and in fact could provoke a more serious reaction from them as it was originally written from with a reaction within me and in defence of myself on some level.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt my response at the same time and judge the non reply of this person as a sign of anger and then judge myself before even knowing what the real scenario is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the future look closely at the way that I reply to certain people and at the value that I am placing towards particular beings within my world to be sure that I am not overcompensating for one more than another.

So when and as I see myself placing more value on another based on any sort of prerequisite conditions I stop myself and breathe and realize that all are one and equal and that if I cannot value all as such my particular sense of values are skewed to a limited bandwidth of conditions.

I commit myself to understand that value of one over another is not real and is actually happening only in my mind.

When and as I see myself placing value judgements on anything over another I stop myself and breathe, and commit myself to understand that the mental categorization of my opinions about others/things is not real and the not realizing the only real differences between things/people/animals is the physical parameters in which they operate and function with this world. The value that I personally attach to them is not.

I commit myself to stop the categorization of people and things, to stop the value judgements that I attach to them, and instead start to see the world that it really is as equal and one here in physicality.

I commit myself to the reality that the physical world is reality as this is the anchor point of my individual existence here and that this is really the only proof that I need and the entire judgement/value/thinking system exists only within my physical body as something that I choice to accept and allow to exist as a participation factor within me.

I commit myself to be here instead and choose to remain as much as I can here in the physical breathe and the world that I can see and touch to minimize the influence of my mind systems on others at this stage and instead just focus on the process of walking myself step by step out of my mind.

When and as I see myself reacting on any level where I start to feel the need to defend my position in any way I stop myself and breathe and recognize that anything that is share within the starting point of a defensive stance will ultimately be skewed to that starting point.

And thus I commit myself to stop myself when I notice myself reacting and force myself to reconsider what my next step will be and what is relevant and pertinent to share at that time.

When and as I see myself wanting share more and more with this particular being I stop myself and breathe and realize that this wanting, this desire is really just a clue to see that I myself have not fully lived up to this point of walking these points in a consistent way.

And thus I commit myself to stop the interactions that I have with people in general until I have established within myself that my starting point is clear always.

I commit myself to stop the placement of who I think is important to “get it” within my world more than another, based on my own judgements of the other.

I commit myself to then only share when I am asked about a particular point. And recognize within myself when the things I say stop being about supporting the other being and are really about self-interest.

I commit myself to understand that failure to do so can result in serious reactions with others and unnecessary conflict within others.

I commit myself to find the self-control to realize when it is a good time to share and with whom instead of just placing a particular being in the headlights so to speak because I see them as someone who needs to “get it”

I commit myself to stop feeling sad/bad about this person not getting it or not being willing to look at things another way, and realize that for change to happen for real most of us here with have to “get it” but that really starts within me and my world, how I live and who I am.

When and as I see myself sharing from a point of breathe and I second guess myself I stop myself and breathe and recognize the fear point that has arisen within me where my past experiences have influenced my self view of and how I judge myself within this world.

And so I commit myself to stop the self-doubt that comes up when I DO see that it is relevant to share.

I commit myself to learn to really commit to the things that I say and write when I do see that it is relevant and appropriate to share instead of holding back within myself because of past experiences.

I commit myself to find my nerve with people so I am not constantly held within a prison of my own hand when faced with expressing myself.

Within that I commit myself to really begin to pay attention to what I am choosing to say in a aware manner of where the starting points of me choosing to speak lay within.

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