When and as I see myself become defensive on the point of being criticized by my coworker I stop myself and breathe and realize how the point of taking offense is actually my own acceptance and allowance to make it a personal issue.
I commit myself to see how in these situation there is always a positive point and a negative point and how these represent the winner and loser of the situation.
I commit myself to stop subscribing to the those states of winner/loser, realizing that they in fact only represent a energetic experience, that which I have become addicted to the positive end of the scale of being the winner.
I commit myself to realize how the point of defensiveness is actually coming through trying to prevent to loss of the positive experience. And so I commit myself to start living within breathe and realize that the acceptance and allowance of myself as defensiveness really is a ego based creation where I do not want to let go of the positive energy.
When and as I see myself defining myself with and as the positive energetic experience and find that this experience is being threatened because of a supposed attack on the definitions, I stop myself and breathe and see how I have created that which makes me “unique”, in which the things that I know how to do are what makes up my view of myself as a stable productive being is actually only a coping mechanism that I have created for myself where I have these few things in which I define myself as being good at and that this is the areas that are “Alex”. And so when it is threaten I always want to jump on the person or things that is threatening to me right away.
When and as I see myself holding my entire sense of self worth within and as these points of skill to where the point of defense comes in when I am tested so to speak within the hierarchy of the cooking world, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that what is happening is that without awareness am looking to maintain my place within that hierarchy.
I commit myself to realize that the competition of myself with others in/about/over cooking is really just a way for me to feel better and stable as a human being where I gain my sense of self worth mainly from the things that I can do.
I commit myself to stop using this coping mechanism to move me through-out my life, and see how if I am using just few things to hold my self view stable that this will actually never create stability because the second that I come up against another being that challenges my ability in those areas I prove to myself that I am not stable by wanting to defend “Alex”, and defend that position within the point of skill based self image.
I commit myself to instead learn to breathe through-out my day and see that this is the real indication of stability where I am present here in each moment and not reacting to others constantly every time my self/world view is challenged.
When and as I see others as the cause for and the reason behind why I do not really want to continue within the industry I stop myself and breathe, and see that the accumulation of these memories is why I have reached this point within my view of myself and the cooking industry.
I commit myself to see how this is actually showing me the opportunity to change my approach to how I do things at my work, how I am capable of improving myself in terms of what I am willing to do, as well as teaching me the opportunity to refresh my focus in remain here within breathe.
I commit myself to realize that when I am facing my coworker as the mirror of myself this is the point in which I can take a stand within myself and prove to myself that I am able to living within practical means by accessing what is the best possible option within the scenario and sticking to that which may or may not involve doing what my coworker says, and making suggestions about how improvements could be made within it becoming a point of defensiveness and battle for control.
I commit myself to stop the reaction to these situations as a revisiting of older similar situations where I was faced with other co-workers that I have gone to battle with so to speak to defend my self defined right to be right.
I commit myself instead to see the other being as they are one and equal with myself and not allow myself to reduce the situation to a matter of memories where I just repeat the same scenarios that I did before.