218. Chef Sham part 3

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my experience within my workplace as boring because I view it as not being able to fulfill this personal point of fulfillment which has to do the type of cooking that I am doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place myself within and as a point of disappointment when I come to this judgment of the job as not being stimulating enough.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself within the job because it is not meeting certain standards/prerequisites that I am looking for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to form as pattern within myself whenever this point of the job being what I am looking for comes up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to recognize that this job really does not matter so much as how I express and conduct myself within the job.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to participate within this job because of not wanting to deal with my manager and placing all the emphasis on this other being as the foundation of why I cannot really enjoy myself within this job.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to stop working as a chef based within the experiences and memories that I have had/am having within the cooking industry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself extensively from the physical act of cooking to something that must be done to survive, and really placing it within something that I do not want to do as a job any longer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate the expressive ability that I am able to have within cooking into just a point of getting it done and going home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire work to be over from the perspective that I am burning out, and have let this emotional response come over me and take me over to the point where I stop wanting to participate within my workplace.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base my entire experience of working within the cooking industry as from within a point of looking for something altruistic to do within my life, and not ever really seeing or understanding that this point of desiring to be altruistic really is a point of attempting to fulfill myself, and is really only self interest when boiling down to the essence of the matter.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that this point really has never really been about doing something that benefits all, but have really been just looking for something to benefit myself emotionally and this is shown in where here I am working within a position that could be described as helping others, yet I am unsatisfied.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to admit to the point that what I am really looking for is self interest, fame, specialness, and recognition for my abilities, not realizing that this is just a fanciful desire that I have created within my own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the participation of myself within my own mind will not lead to self fulfillment or self satisfaction in any lasting permanent fashion.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to participate with and be able to see who I really am and instead just choose to pass the blame along to the other people at my workplace and within the people staying within the shelter as well.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take full responsibility for myself within my workplace and do the job to my fullest ability, allowing instead a propensity to just give into thoughts, feelings, emotion, ideas, desires, etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the justification of leaving the workplace as a valid reason to not put my full ethic within my working attitude and approach.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to breathe and focus myself where within that moment I instead just look for the easiest way to do my job and get out and go home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take up a neutral space within my approach to my job where I do just enough to get by and collect the paycheque instead of looking at what I can do to improve my ability to perform in a practical way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into this version of polarity through placing myself within a point of neutrality and claiming that to be hereness, when in fact hereness is being here in breathe and having no experiences about good/neutral/bad.

OK I will continue with the corrections next time.

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