234. Is feeling living? Some SF.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing prevention to play a role within my life thus far.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not understand prevention and what that actually means, how to actively live a preventative life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that prevention is the same thing as living neurotically and not realizing that prevention actually is a course of action that is based within common sense and not within a feeling basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can still help person when the preventative opportunity has past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on feelings of guilt because I believe that I have failed another in not being about to convince the other person to change.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand the time and place that I was before and how I was conducting myself in the past and realizing that this perhaps is part and parcel of why I was not trusted with anything with credibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to convince myself that I know better then this other being and that they need my help to fix them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spin this situation around once again and make this about me rather then allowing myself to be/express myself effectively and recognize the moments where I am actually invited to share rather then making things about my opinion on what the other being should do that is really only based within memories that then generate a feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my world according to feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my entire life has been only really ever been based within and as series of emotions and feelings that I generate with the use of thoughts and memories.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not understand how the creation of my own polarity scale and the acceptance/use of that scale within my is actually been the thing that has been directing me from my indoctrination within the dominant “reality”. And never stopping to consider otherwise the the physical world is actually what is real and feelings and emotions are just energy that feeds off of the physical substance of my own body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not ever realize that thinking and feelings are actually a form of self cannibalism.

Therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not allow myself to live without the guilt that comes allowing with seeing how I COULD have behaved/expressed myself if I had a more complete understanding of myself at the time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that because I did not know any better at the time that I must live with eternal guilt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not actually give/gifting myself the ability to excuse and forgive myself for mistakes that I have made in the past, holding myself in self pity, and instead of being constructive, practical and utilizing the mistakes into a common sense solution I just have chosen to become sad and push that self responsibility to take action aside.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to convince myself that feelings and emotions are harmless and only effect me, when it is plain to see that emotions and feelings are frequently and enthusiastically being exchanged and thrown onto other beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like feelings are something that is so important so as to let them get into the way of me actually really being aware of what is going on here.

I forgive myself for in that feeling to forget how I can affect the reality around me through the ignoring of instances and opportunities that come up as well as getting involved within other things that do not require my/any attention all because of and within a feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back in the past within my relationship with this other being and in such missed particular opportunities and cues to really connect with the other being.

I forgive myself to miss that opportunity because I was to busy chasing my own self importance as experiences of positive, neutral, and negative, and in such was not able to stand in as a actual pillar of support for the other, and in turn became guilty for my lack of understanding and ability to assist this other being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself for this other beings choices and not realizing that in the state that I was in, the age I was at, I actually did not and was not able to and be prepared to realize myself as being fully here.

I forgive myself for not accepting this experience as a lesson to take myself more seriously within the deconstruction of my mind instead of the easy way out which is just to feel back and go back into and within my old habits/patterns/addictions because I do not want to face the possibility of losing someone close to me and would rather pretend nothing is happening and just hide from it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the value and self evolution that is involved in staying here in breathe remaining present within this reality instead of allowing myself to just spin off into some alternate reality of the mind.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the harm that I am able/doing to myself within believing in and giving value to feelings/thoughts/emotions and not seeing how everything that I do is really a reflection of those things, and that I am never really in control when I giving into those points.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give over my actual power of self to a poser of energetic responses/

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize how easy it is for others to forgo their actual physical human bodies for a feeling, and not seeing how I have actually done/doing the same thing through varies habits and addictions that I still accept and allow on some level within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how the temporary high of feelings are something that many people strive for because it seems so real, and that people will not stop until they are actually forced to stop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see or realize the extent of this problem/challenge from within my own process of self discovery/realization that this is something that will take/require particular prerequisites for some to get into and find for themselves or a being that has been able to become clear enough to effectively assist them with clarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not realize the importance then of walking this journey with the up-most self determined attitude.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that anything that I do not do to the fullest that I am capable that I will be held accountable for, and that this is something that I will eventually have to atone for within myself so I might as well walk this process without creating to much excessive problems within myself and within others, until I am able to really assist someone in a effective manner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought to arise where I do not have to accept the process for what it is, and sort of trick myself into not pushing myself for fear of not being ready, and forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how I will never really ever be fully ready to give up the mind or any of the programs that come along within it but I will need to push through that believe and just walk to process anyways and used the opportunities of imperfection to figure out where I still need attention in cleaning out my mind of all the useless bs that stays up there because I have some system of feelings attached to it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that the other reason for self abuse is lying within the system of feelings and emotions for the positive, where fun from within the field of pursuit of fun/happiness can actually lead one down a path of confusion, danger, self deceit, since the pursuit of fun/happiness is generally a response to not being satisfied with the current situations and a fear of survival where I would try to deal with the endless task of just trying to survive within this world and replacing it with all sorts of activities that are just based within trying to escape the survival mentality.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to educated myself within the world of how to support myself within this world, and seeing others supporting themselves and scoffing because I did not realize the importance of money at the time.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how money can/will be used to create a preventative force within the world where beings who are able to walk a process of self trust within oneness and equality will actually stand up and make changes because we can be used to create solutions that are truly freeing for all and are no longer a manifestation that is used to enslave.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how these changes will take some time to come through as the points to walk each person back from a point of separation to equality can be a difficult and challenging one as I am finding out for myself, so that in the meantime some within my world may pass away without really finding out for oneself in this life what oneness and equality actually means.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad about that since I can see how I still would like everyone within my circle and family to get it and understand, without fully seeing myself and understanding myself first, not seeing the expectation within myself, where I don’t even really know how walk for myself yet, and in short not realizing the patience and application that it requires to walk process and that not everyone will get it no matter how much I feel I want them to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the feelings that I have for those in my world to to be unique and special when in fact I am proving the ridiculous nature of this belief within these feelings when in application I cannot say the same thing about all beings and all life within my world currently where my feelings are based within specific conditions, and creating a platform for separation within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold a system of interdependence on and as only a few select people within my world to the point where I placed more value in what happens to them then what happens to the rest of all life equally.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how I actually am a part of all life and that my contributions to what I accept and allow within my world is actually what I define real value as in this world, and as such forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue the system of abuse through the participation in the mind systems within my mind rather then living with the principals of what is best for all and preventing a world where all are living within separation with life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will never be able to make a difference within this world in terms of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am to small to be a preventative force within this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into to the idea that it is to late for prevention and that just because something is happening within my internal circle of beings that this is a microcosm of the external world outside it and that I am giving up on the world and what I am walking because of my personal life, which is not realizing what is actually happening in the larger picture, and for not seeing that I am able to set aside my feelings and emotions at the door for a actually role of support within this world where eventually we will not need to go through particular hardships because of the basic fear of not being able to be certain of survival. Which leads up to the abuse of oneself here in the physical.

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One thought on “234. Is feeling living? Some SF.

  1. Thank you for this blog for there is tremendous value here for me to re-read and study so that I may work on my own process which, I forgive myself for neglecting.

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