252. Its me. Part 3

When and as I see myself give into a the feeling of depression to the point where I choose to not take action within my life, I stop myself and breathe, and see that within writing out the point in self forgiveness and walk through the point in practical application I am in fact take revenge on the ego.

I commit myself to walk through the point of depression and see the value to myself within practical application and the gift of forgiving myself.

I commit myself to stop giving up in the face of depression and realize that this act/choice of giving up is only a system the occurs within my own mind.
When and as I see myself putting myself within a inferior position of the mind I stop myself and breathe and realize that within this I give up all actual real expression of myself here as life.

I commit myself to stop feeling like I am inferior to my mind and the feelings that are generated within my mind like that of depression.

I commit myself to realize myself as the expression of me as life in each breathe by being aware of myself within each breathe and taking practical action through the application of self forgiveness within the moments that I notice I am living within my mind constructs, and projections through thoughts/feelings/emotions.

When and as i see myself living within a state of friction because I am participate with my ego/mind, instead of allowing and accepting me as this moment of breathe here in the physical, I stop myself and breathe, remembering that it is within breathe only that I will find my point of stability and clarity.

I commit myself to stopping the participation within my mind whenever I see that I am giving up and giving into those systems.

I commit myself to the understanding and acceptance that this will not be as easy as it sounds because I have accepted myself to always be a product of my mind/ego, and that this will take some time to figure out how to effectively deal with/handle every circumstance that comes up with self honesty and a effective application of self.

When and as I see myself living within the idea that writing myself out within self forgiveness will always be a point of friction and a point of having to push against myself because I view it as a threat to the character that I have built up within acceptance and allowance, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that in time this process will become easier and that currently what i am facing is really only the push-back from my own mind ego acceptances.

I commit myself to at this stage continue pushing through the resistance to face myself because I can see that this is the point of self honest in which I will have to take accountability for and that to begin with this will be experiences as extreme friction and anxiousness about my self view/value.

I commit myself to understand that currently within this I am really facing the accepted characters that I have allowed myself to be identified with within my own mind, and that this is really the key to the matter within seeing that this is only occurring within my own mind.

I commit myself to instead bring myself back when I can to a point of self awareness within my physical breathe.

I commit myself to stop buying into the con of consciousness and giving unsubstantiated weight/value to the personal relationships that I have within my own experience only, and stop narrowing down the particular people/points that i am able to see.

i commit myself to instead start seeing my ability to direct myself in such a way that will benefit all equality here on this planet and do so within the understanding of principles of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to stop defining myself by and within the belief that depression is a real self expression that I am going through rather then that of being generated within/by the mind.

I commit myself to realize this because this depression experience is based within the definition of myself as relationships to and of other beings around me and within my world.

I commit myself to realize that this is shown to be true because my self expression is not free and open with others beings but in fact a definition of how others perceive me and how I am able to interact with others outside of myself.

When and as I see myself condemning me within this point of attachment to the acceptance and self definition of others, wherein creating, cultivating and maintaining the experience of depression, I stop myself and breathe, and within that see that I am the one that has to find the self honesty to really stand within myself as a stable being and stop comparing and relying on the input from the others within/around me to make a complete definition of who I am, or within the point of money where money because the subject of my entire basis/starting point for relationships within other beings.

I commit myself to stop conning myself within the consciousness of myself as the mind and realize that this is really a point of generating a idea of me as a single point, and not seeing how this singularity self definition of myself is in fact starting and standing within separation of life unconditional.

I commit myself to see the simplicity of my situation within I am able to look and find the actual source of my depressions and work within that.

When and as I see myself only basing my ability to be OK with myself on particular specific requirements I stop myself and breathe, I realize that not accepting myself within each moment is just separation and the cause of the friction within my world.

I commit myself to see become more stable in accepting myself in whichever situation comes up.

I commit myself to realize that within the point of not accepting myself and generating friction I am creating the point of comparison for those requirements/criteria to even exist within myself because I am looking for a way to escape from the friction/negativity.

So I commit myself to see and understand that the fulfillment of my desires for more of myself is actually only ever a abstraction from the negative aspects of what I have accepted and allowed in myself.

I commit myself to see that this has been the case all along where I have looked at other beings lives with comparisons and from the mental starting point of competition.

I commit myself to realize that from that looking at others lives I have form some deep rooted feelings about other people, in the wanting what they have, and this has been the source of seeking out the positive more than fulfillment experience.

I commit myself to instead to start allowing myself to view some of the things that others have as something that all can have if the process of becoming equal and one with life is walked by all. And within this I commit myself to see how that process cannot be walk by all at one time, first it will require me to let go of the desire to have that reality come about because “I” want comfort and stuff. But to see that walking my process for me as a equalization with life first in self honesty is the point here. Living a principled life because I can actually see that this is the truth and the mind is a illusions to keep me enslaved.

When and as I see myself myself placing blame on my past I stop myself and breathe, I realize that this outsourcing blame to events that have already past by is really a point of just giving up my directive ability in the now moment to take practical self action in common sense.

I commit myself to see the common sense in each moment where I live and stand by the principles of equality and oneness no matter what.

I commit myself to stop giving up my ability to move myself for the sake of memories.

I commit myself to stop giving such power to the mind wherein I make the memories more then what I am able to do in the present moment.

I commit myself to stop using past events as a excuse to feel a particular way about how I can/do experience myself in the present moment and within this always make the present moment a shadow of the past.

I commit myself to stop believing that the memories from and within my personal past can hold the answers to now, outside of the perspective of being able to see and confront my own mind patterns and addictions.

I commit myself to realize that walking a principled life to deconstruct my mind will mean to stop the energy that I associate with my past in such where I stop giving up my right to life in each moment for a temporary high.

Within this blame I commit myself to stop seeing the common sense point of just breathing and being here, and instead always looking to make the moment more then what it is in some way.

When and as I see myself wanting to push out that responsibility on the and my memories then I stop myself and breathe, bringing myself back to point of self honesty where I can see that every time that I choose to participate within the mind through thoughts/feelings/emotions it is my responsibility.

I commit myself to realize that participation in the mind is always a choice, I can either choose to be here within breathe or to be off in some other dimension of the mind.

I commit myself to see the self honesty that is required to be here in each and every breathe.

I commit myself to stop the self judgments that I have about past failure to keep to my previous commitments where within this is the understanding and self acceptance that this is a process that will take time and effort.

I commit myself to see how the self judgments are only another point of placing myself as/in a inferior being in and towards my memories within my mind.

I commit myself to stop using my memories as excuses as to why I cannot stand now.

I commit myself to realize that standing is a matter of taking back my self will from a place of automatic giving up into and as the point of walking the principles in simplicity.

I commit myself to realize the simplicity of equality and oneness where it does not EVER place oneself in a position of looking to gain more for oneself but only to learn self acceptance and self worth as a equal and one being with all life. The distinction being one stands within fear when looking to gain more, and one stands within self acceptance within equality.

When and as I see myself looking to create a MORE of me experience through and within attainment of material possessions I stop myself and breathe, realizing that this is actually within and a reflection/reaction of the negative view that I have placed within and on myself and my life, where I build up the negative view by looking at what other beings have gotten/achieved as a contrast of my own failure.

I commit myself to stop the nature within myself to view what other people have as a point of separation of self.

I commit myself to stop the idea that I need to get what they have or something equivalent to be happy and contented within my life.

I commit myself to realize that this experience is only chemistry and is actually been hardwired into me through out my life and throughout my experiences through what I have accepted and allowed.

I commit myself to understand then that if something was programmed into me, and I accepted and allowed that program as a self definition of who I am then I am fully capable to see and remove those programs.

I commit myself then to stop the more as me experience as a realization that what is really occurring is a reaction in contrast to the negative view of myself as the points of perceived failure within my life.

I commit myself to stop the greed aspect of myself as the more as me experience in which I can realize therein that what it really is that is driving this greed is a point of fear of death, where I try to gather to me more in a attempt to stave of the fear of death.

I commit myself to accept that in death I cannot bring anything with me of this physical existence and that within that the only real point of value would be what i have done to bring about a world in which that which I have left behind in fact is of more value to the other beings that come after me.

I commit myself to see this as the point of value within and as anything I do which is to create, encourage, and maintain a best for all solution here in the physical existence.

I commit myself to support life in which ever way that I can see at the point I am at within my process.

When and as I see myself only maintain that which is of my personal dreams of self interest and attainment for myself only, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that this is absolute separation from life and that this will ultimately lead to the destruction of myself and others.

I commit myself to stop defining myself within and as the attainment of my dreams and desires and realize the within that the point of failure of self is only within a point of ego and self interest.

I commit myself to realign who I am with life as the expression of myself as the principle of equality and oneness in each moment, pushing through the resistance that is presented within the point of depression and the allure of experiencing myself more of myself than life.

I commit myself to stop the comparison of myself to where I think that I should be within my life at this time.

I commit myself to accept me within each moment and realize that despite much of my experience of me still being within a mind creation, I realize that this process is just that, a process that will take time, and within to just allow myself to walk, and stop using my failures as a excuse.

I commit myself to be able to utilize my failures as a point of understanding my own time-line within my process, and in this I am taking back the directive ability of myself instead of being subject to my failures as a point of weakness within myself.

When and as I see myself standing within the feeling of helplessness in the face of depression I stop myself and breathe, and in that moment have a look at what it is that I am blaming in that moment that is not allowing me to accept myself within that moment.

I commit myself to stop desiring life from the outside looking in and actually bring the experience of myself as life to the forefront of everything that I do.

I commit myself to change my definition of life within myself from one where I place all the value on material possessions and within building and securing my safety and security within my own life for myself only.

I commit myself to see the difference of becoming self honest and self responsible when it comes to the point of how I manage and conduct myself within money and in how I use money to create experiences that are within the sole intention of just having a more of me experience where money is used to stave of the fear of not having and not being able to survive.

I commit myself see that becoming stable within my financial situation does not have to be about just fear of death but when look at within common sense and within acceptance of myself in each moment that it can be a tool for the betterment of myself as well as utilizing it to create a world where everyone is able to better themselves and their situation.

I commit myself to stop being the point of self definitions where I create my own hell for myself within my convictions about how I should be, taking value within the possession of material things and forgetting the ability that I am able to gift myself in self forgiveness.

I commit myself to use the tools of self honest self forgiveness and walk myself out of the mind through practical application of my realization within self forgiveness.

I commit myself to finally see how the personal hell that i create is within the convective nature of living within the mind as polarity experiences.

I commit myself to stop making this process more then it actually is and instead to just admit to myself that I have/am creating my own hell within myself through the participation in its creation through the mind in thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I commit myself to realize that the point of having to overcome my NATURE within my process is something that exist within a belief system about me and within this create more barriers for me.

I commit myself instead to move past the obstacles that I have built for myself realizing that this is really about finding my actual self expression within walking myself free from the mind.

I commit myself to face the difficult points within my process and realize that within the difficulty in it all I am really experiencing is the mind and within that I am the one that is really able to take that on.

I commit myself to use the tools that I have been able to learn to utilize the greatest leverage in moving myself out of the mind and into self expression.

I commit myself to stop giving my process the aspect of crawling out of hell and instead start to view this as me communicating with me for the first time.

I commit myself to see and common sense and the practical points of breathing and bring myself back to the physical reality around me.

I commit myself to walk myself out of the blame and shame of my points of depression and realize that I have accepted and allowed the point of depression to exist initially so I am full well capable of walking myself back out of it.

I commit myself to see that this will only require some time and effort to stop each pattern respectively as they come up.

I commit myself to face the patterns of depressions as they arise and to face the point of looking to cover up the depression with all sorts of positive experiences of myself.

I commit myself to keep the things that I participate in simple so that initially I do not get bogged down.

When and as I see myself holding resentment towards other within my life because I blame others for the failure within myself to have what it is that I desire, I stop myself and breathe and remember that these people are in fact me, and that I should be able to take full responsibility for my choices.

I commit myself to see that any advantages that I see others within my world have, are not so much advantages but actually have given me a opportunity to see myself clearer and see where I am being self dishonest because I become face with what is actually necessary to be done within myself to build me into stability and into a place of personal satisfaction with what I accomplish towards a best for all solution each day.

251. Its me. Part 2.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never follow through with anything within my life from/for the reasoning that I am coming from a disadvantage in life and this is the reason why I have to put up with define myself within depression.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have the integrity within my life to follow through with my points of commitment to self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take value within things that will allow me to create a stabilized expression within myself, and instead give weight/value to things that only stimulate me energetically.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize my life within schooling was about learning to become self aware.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my upbringing as to why I was/am unable to put focus and value within the education of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself by believing in the thinking/mentality that by punishing myself as not applying myself to life that I am in fact getting back/revenge on the other people in my life that I feel have wronged me in some way.

I forgive myself to not accept and allow myself to see/realize other solutions as to have to improve myself/life and within this lash out against others around me because this is the only way that I saw/see that this is going to make a difference.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place anger as the natural and normal response to what I perceive as being a limitation on my ability to take charge within my life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take personal responsibility within my life and within that create the very experience that I am looking to escape from.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing allowing myself to dwell within the repercussions of my action in the past and within that blind myself from any and all solutions to my current state of myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself as a unconditional acceptance of me in this moment and in that destroy and stunt any potential solution in how I may improve myself of move past this point of depression within me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how the solution/chance for change has always been here only it has been buried under the movement of my mind where I participate within thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas about who I am and how I define myself to be within any given moment.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take the opportunity to stop the mind and live within the true potential of myself where I take matters and responsibility for myself in each moment.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing the understanding that the actual solution to how I experience myself within depression is actually a point of self interest where I am not living within and as the principle of what is best for all life at all times, generating the experience of looking for and becoming addicted to the the more as myself experience.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to notice that within this more as myself experience what is really taking place is a response/reaction to the acceptance of myself as a point of singular consciousness that is born from and within the negative experience of me.

I therefore forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only define myself within and as this separate singular experience of myself within the polarity scale of self identification through and within the mind and the participation within the mind not seeing how the energy that is being created within these experiences is of and min(e)d from the physical existence. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse life as the physical in not giving equality of all life value within what I make up as being the way I define myself and others within my experiences/memories.

I forgive myself therein to accept and allow myself to believe in and adhere to the possibility that the solution to myself is somehow within the mind when really belief in the mind is the actual generation of this reality and self view.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the only real solution is to stop the mind and stop the mind systems, and to bring myself back to a point of awareness within breathe and deconstructing the lattices of what I have allowed and accepted to be truth within myself as thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Doing this with the tools that have been introduced to me through the Desteni group as self forgiveness, self honesty, self commitment, and the ability to apply those commitments practically.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame and belittle my situation to the point where I feel helpless and in this helplessness do nothing to change myself situation and myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the self judgments that I carry around within myself about where I stand today are pointless and only are a reflection of where I still do not/am not allowing myself to step beyond/outside of the mind and the systems of the mind that I have created through acceptance and allowance simply of them being real.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to not work within what comes up within my day and stand within full acceptance and responsibility of what I have allowed to be a definition of myself, and within this never actually take up the true and full potential of what I am able to do and what I am able to create as/within my expression here in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blind myself and turn my back on what I can do in terms of utilizing my strengths to create myself as being that walks within self trust and within a understanding that the experiences of the mind do not have to be the affliction of all mankind or life itself until its eventual self destruction and forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself instead to take the creation and cultivation of a world that is best for all and the principles of equality and oneness that come along with creating something like that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand only within doubt of this potential both as a self expression and also as a actual possibility of what we can do as humankind here on earth.

When and as I see myself standing within the belief that I am facing a difficulty to see myself clearly, I stop and breathe and come to realize that this experience is nothing more then a belief system that I have created, and is actually anything more then the mind and is in anything greater then a point of unwillingness to face myself as the mind.

I commit myself to stop giving into this system of of unwillingness and instead just see the system for what it is which is a mind projection of self.

I commit myself to stop giving this system a value/power that I believe is greater than my ability to be self honest and self directive in any case within my life, and expression of myself in each moment.

I commit myself to push through the perceived points of difficulty and in those moment always seek out what it really is that is holding me back from seeing the relevance in that “difficulty” and what it really is standing for within me.

250. Its me.

Like in the last post I made about writing from the mind. I have been having some difficulty in seeing myself with some clarity lately.

I had my chat last night and I mentioned that I was still facing some point of depression. I can see that with my application there is this aspect of polarity existent where I am trying to almost force the realizations to come forth. Within that I experience friction with myself like I have to constantly push for self expression, which really is not self expression, or not in the sense of being totally open and unprojected self expression. All within a response to this depression point.

So my buddy suggested to me within that point of depression to look for the point of blame. I considered this later that night and realized looking around the neighborhood of brand new house where I recently moved to the basement of one. In that moment it hit me that what I was depressed about was me. There is/was this underlying point of failure within me. I was blaming myself for not being what I expected of myself. I was not living up to the dreams that I have/had for myself. I was not living my actual potential, and within that all these points came up about desires, and dreams.

I feel helpless in the face of these things and create my own personal hell through the failure of my ambitions. And within that I create this climbing out of hell scenario that must take place for me to walk my process.

Focus on writing out these points. Why do I feel like I have failed myself? What are the specifics on what I have desired within my life that I have not fulfilled. This is what is making me depressed, this is what I am having this climbing out of a pit experience for.

.The relationship I have had with myself through-out my life where I have never really followed through with anything to the point of committing to something with integrity. In school I just stopped caring about making myself something of value, learning or seeing that education was about making myself aware. This was all in a response to my upbringing, I was punishing my parents through punishing myself, lashing out in the only way that I knew how or felt natural.

Now the repercussions have caught up to me where the point is that I am not where I would like to be, I am judging me for those decisions and wishing/desiring to have another chance. Well that chance has always been here, just buried under the thoughts/feelings/emotions that come up from this belief/idea of myself as this character of failure. I have the opportunity to take up directive ability within myself and my life and start living from a point of true potential, I just have to stop the mind.

So finding the potential for change within how I have chosen to blame and belittle my situation is the actual point of what I can do within my world. To stop judging myself for where I am at now, and instead start working with what I have accepted and allowed up to this point. That is the key, first accepting my situation and working with that. Seeing what I am practically capable of now and see how I can best utilize my capabilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what I am facing is difficulty in seeing myself with clarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that this difficulty is anything more the my mind and a unwillingness to face myself as the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still be subject to and be ruled by a feeling of depression where I do not stand up within that projection of myself and seek out and realize the true nature of this feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to instead just give into the feeling to the extent to where I make the choice to not take action within writing out the point in practical application and self forgiveness of the point and within that taking revenge on the ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be subject to my ego as the mind and allowing myself to place myself in a inferior position to the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I give into the mind I will always experience the act of self expression to be within a starting point of friction because I do not allow and accept myself to be here within breathe in oneness and equality within physical existence as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not to see how within this the writing will always become a act of pushing and not a actual self expression that I enjoy and view as something that do for the benefit of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the act of writing to become a threat because I see it as something that will interrupt the current mode of how I experience me within consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into the con that consciousness represent because it is always within and as the relationships that I form within my mind to the present moment within writing and within how I conduct myself with other beings.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that acting and walking within the point of belief in depression within myself is not actually self expression because it is not open and free from projected ideas of myself and others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that this point is all in a relation of this point of depression where i condemn myself to experience me within this con.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the simplicity of the situation where what I can do practically in the face of depression is to look for the source of it. Look for the point of where I blame my current situation on particular factors and requirements that dictate my experience of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my experience to be only a set of defining requirements/criteria to be able to experience and view myself as being OK/happy/positive about how I view myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how within my observation of the world around me I look and view the things around me only from a point of desire/lack and comparison/competition with what others have and how I have not actually been able to manifest these things/conditions for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my past as the reason why I do not have these things.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself for realizing that it is actually me that is/has been responsible for what I have and have not created/allowed to manifest within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a experience of negativity/friction to/about the things that I see around me and within this based my solution on/in the procurement of these things/conditions to apparently be OK/content/happy within myself by creating a “more” experience of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in this “more as me” experience and to not realize that this is actually just a point of greed which is only a experience that is base within and as a fear of death/survival by creating and latching onto the experience of maintaining a life that fulfill particular conditions to my personal comfort only.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define “who I am” as the attainment and maintenance of my dreams of myself as being more, wherein this is the foundational self definition of success to me, and within this I have viewed myself as failing to attain these dreams and therefore view myself as a negative self view.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this failure experience to be the point of comparison that I use to create and manifest my experience where I constantly compare where i am in life to where I believe myself should be, and in this create a endless cycle of non self acceptance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel helpless in the face of this depression, wherein I feel like I will never obtain what it is that I desire, in this never stopping to see or realize that what I am really desiring is life, but have instead given the value of life to particular material possessions and within the generation of security of self within money.

I forgive myself therefore for accepting and allowing myself to create a self contained hell within the belief in/of my convictions about what is really valuable and not actually realizing the ACTUAL gift of life I am able to give to myself through the tools of self forgiveness, self corrective application and stopping the mind from creating a experience of myself within polarity instead of being able to remain here stable within each moment as awareness in breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself within this to create a experience of myself within process as being more then it actually is where I have myself created a experience of me within and as myself in hell. And never stopping to see/admit that I am the one that is creating this hell through the belief and generation of the feelings, emotions, and thoughts that make this hell experience real within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make this walking out of hell experience to be a definition of my process where it has become something that I must OVERCOME to actually walk my process, not seeing how within this belief of having to overcome something within myself that I can/am creating more obstacles for myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the truth within the matter where I will face points within my mind that will be challenging and require me to push through them but within this giving into the definition that this entire process is something that is of/as hell that I must climb out of is really making my process more difficult then it has to be.
But truth be told this is only me, I am creating it all, I am really the one to blame, I can only be the one that can change me, so the common sense move is to just stop, be practical, breathe, and focus on whats here in front of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I am the one to blame for the existence of and generation of these feelings, and not stopping long enough to see the point of commonsense where within this if I am creating the situations that I am the one who can, and should be able to stop them and walk myself out of such blame, and shame.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down long enough to bring myself back to a point of simplicity and walk through the self definitions of desire/lack, regret/shame, and instead focus myself here within breathe, and what is physically around me in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the feeling of failure towards myself and my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in this because I simply do not see that it is because I do not have the things that I desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live within regret and resentment towards myself and those that I have interacted with in relationships over the course of myself life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the specifics how the lack of money within my life has been the primary cause and point of blame in why I am not able to direct myself within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my fiscal position in life for the failure of all other areas of myself where I belief and give energy to the belief that if I had more money that ever area of my life would magically improve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never realize that my situation in and towards money is actually within reverse of this wherein if I am able to take the time and focus to develop myself as a clear and stable being that the point of money will itself become more stable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing therefore to blame the money within my world for the root of my hell, instead of learning directly from my past experiences as seeing how I have squandered, and still continue to squander money and within such am creating this situation/mentality of lack within my world instead of take actual responsibility for my choices and actions.
For one the major point is money of course. Never having enough money. And probably this is what many of the other points link back to and trace back to within the relationships that I have with other beings.

OK. That’s all for today I will pick this point up again tomorrow.

249. Writing from the mind

Over the past couple days I have attempted to write, but I kept coming up against myself where I was doubting what I was writing about, why I was writing about particular things, and why I felt like I needed to share those particular points.

Within this it goes to show the state that I still am in within my own mind. How my writing is still coming from and within a point of mind in most cases.

I notice that really do not want to change in many areas, like, I just stand within this negative view of myself and cannot see what my true potential could be. Actually when I imagine what I could be, I just go automatically to a place of doubt. Something interesting that I notice about this is how when within my process I see myself making some small progress, then immediately when in the mind I acknowledge that progress to myself, its like this point of self sabotage appears. Like I do not want to change, and really accept that I am worthy of change within me.

I am still gaining my footing within my process here and I really need to practice the point of not projecting ideas of who or what I am onto my reality and instead just stick with the principles that I have learn within walking with desteni. To in writing find and walk through my mind in self forgiveness and self correction to make sure that I can stand stable. And most importantly accept that stability instead of doubting it just because it is something that I have been living with since my childhood anyways.

So time to stop judging myself for the way that I have lived my life so far and face myself in the moment. Within writing it is plain to see that how I express myself and my choices with how I look to conduct myself there does not have to be a particular style I have to adhere to. I do not have walk this process according to some predetermined set of rules, but rather look to just move myself within the guidelines of self honesty.

Time to stop giving up to the projections of ideas that I have about how things are and simply walk through the ideas realizing that they are simply there as parts and pieces of what I have accepted and allowed myself to believe are true.

Time to stop sharing things that I think others will want and need to hear and realize the points that are relevant and pertinent to me within my world. Focusing on the points that come up within me as they come up, taking on my mind in real time instead of trying to mine my mind for things that sound profound.

So within this I commit myself to stop writing from a place of mind.

I commit myself to start writing from within self honest about the things that are really affecting me.

I commit myself to write about the points that come up within me even if they do not sound as profound as something that I see would be as well received as writing about more abstract subjects.

I commit myself to trust myself within writing so as to build the self intimacy that is required to walk this process self honestly.

I commit myself breathe though the points where I find myself wanting to writing about something because I think it will sound good by other beings.

I commit myself to stop writing my blog for other beings within the point of wanting to write something that will sound profound.

And I commit myself to start trusting my progress within my process and really see how the point of regression is really a point of not accepting myself to live and walk through change, as a actuality of my true potential. Seeing how what I have done is reduce that potential to a giving up of myself as life here in breathe, to a experience of myself within the polarity scale as me as singularity as the negative within a lesser view/experience of me, to the equality of myself as singularity of me as neutrality, and then gathering energy to experience myself as more than myself as the positive energy, and in this not realizing that this is the con of consciousness where I only ever live within and as this experiences of myself as a single separate bubble of mind expression, and not a actual life expression here in each breathe.

Alright I will look at this point more in the coming days as I work through other points and look to find the self honesty within the points that I write about, as well as explore this point in greater depth as I go.

248. Giving up myself, fore-sake-in happiness. SC

When and as I see myself allowing myself to come off of track within my process of rebirth back to life through the abdication of myself within my desires for material possessions, I stop myself and breathe, and remember who I really am as life eternal.

I commit myself to take back my free will from and as the mind of the possession of myself in material greed and self interest.

I commit myself to a position of principle of oneness and equality so as to bring about a world best for all, and not merely living within a life that benefit only myself.

I commit myself to work towards living a live where I am able to see value beyond what I can gain from material possessions and realize that the outcome of gain from material possession is short lived and within a point of stimulation of energetic responses only, which is a clear indication of mind possession.

When and as I see myself living and defining myself within conditions that are set and met by obtaining particular things for myself and what will give me the illusion of happiness and contentment.

I commit myself to see how the feelings and emotions that a generated by and within obtaining material things is a illusion of my mind.

I commit myself to take as stand despite the allure of giving into my desires.

I commit myself to seek out to find my actual self expression which will always be from a starting point of what will be best for all, and within that seeing how this is in actuality truth since all are one and equal to myself.

When and as I see myself giving into the belief that material possession with actually make me a better or more valuable version/expression of myself, I stop myself and breathe and bring myself back into the understanding that this is the illusion of my mind in attempt to persuade me as life to give up on myself walk as one and equal.

I commit myself to fully accept myself here as life and realize that there is no better expression of myself than as one and equal to all.

I commit myself to see how desire is based and defined within a system of self view where I stand within a state of lack, and that within lack lies the seeds of greed and personal self interest.

I commit myself to realize that giving into desire is the point of giving up myself here, and giving the value to material possessions that is within my mind greater then that of life itself.

I commit myself to see how giving into desire for material things is giving power of my own ability to self express as a equal and one being, and instead only giving value and power to those things that benefit myself only.

I commit myself to stop giving power to physical object of myself on the basis that these things will grant me personal happiness, and within that process create the conditions for me to actually be satisfied from the starting point of lack within myself, and missing the point of self satisfaction as a personal movement in the starting point of what I can do for this world in each moment by finding and living out my self expression as my true potential as one with life in each breathe.

When and as I see myself standing within a point of ultimate non acceptance of myself, I stop myself and breathe and realize that what is happening is that I am basing the starting point of myself on the condition of how much money/energy I have at my disposal and how I can utilize that money/energy for myself benefit/gain.

I commit myself to stop missing the point of money where it is a representation of my personal principles within my world/life and that using money to fuel my own experiences as fulfillment of my own desires is a form of running from and ignoring my true self expression as one with life.

I commit myself to instead learn to utilize money in such a way where I take all life into consideration for what I use money within my world for and to stop ignoring any point in which I waste money or simply use it to fulfill a condition in which I base my personal sense of happiness within myself.

I commit myself to instead base my sense of self within a point of satisfaction with how I conduct myself through-out my day and realize that this is the true point of how I will see the common sense of using money where I do not just follow done what I believe will give me a energetic experience, but rather what will allow me to utilize my particular position of self movement as one and equal to life effectively and without compromise.

When and as I see myself allowing myself to hide behind and use material things and possessions as a stand in for myself as the expression of life equal and one to me, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that how this is taking place is through the belief within the desire of those things, and within that allow a flow of energy to come into existence within me, and within that flow continue feeding it as the pursuit of those objects of desire.

I commit myself to stop hiding behind material things and realize that in those moments I and fearful of facing myself as just me, here in breathe.

I commit myself to realize that the energy that is generated within thinking about, desiring, and obtaining material things is only a temporary high, and that I will continue to have to feed the flow of energy to maintain that high.

I commit myself to see how this is actually a blatant abuse of myself here in the physical by outsourcing my sense of self worth and sense of self satisfaction to a defining factor that lies outside of me.

When and as I see myself missing the common sense within material possessions where I confuse and coerce myself into thinking that gaining something is actually about feelings, and how something effects me emotionally, I stop myself and breathe and see that the actuality of the matter is how the object can improve/enhance my ability to self express and conduct myself in a manner that will benefit all consistently and without compromising myself as a stable and responsible being.

I commit myself to utilize money in a way that hold the actual point of using it as a tool to bring about a world best for all always.

I commit myself to stop using money for personal gain.

I commit myself to free myself from the desires that I hold things in which I allow my greed for self happiness to cloud over the real objective and actual potential within myself to bring about a best for all situation here on earth.

When and as I see myself squandering money for the sake of thoughts/feelings/emotions I stop myself and breathe, and realize that this is not who I really am but is actually just a program that I have allowed to exist within me and that this does not have to be who I am forever and that I am able to change my relationship with money and material objects to one of a best for all outcome in all cases.

I commit myself to stop squandering the money that I have to become a point of fuel for my thoughts/feelings/emotions and beliefs about what I believe will make me happy.

I commit myself to always consider the potential within the things that choose to place my money into and realize that if the purchase does not have a outcome that can benefit others unconditionally through a process of self expression, and is instead strictly focused on making my life better that this surely is a form of self interest and abuse of myself as life.

When and as I see myself standing within a point of guiltiness about how I have been and continue to spend money, I stop myself and breathe and remember that this is about awareness and not about denial of myself as a being that has interests.

I commit myself to realize that there is always room in my budget to have some fun, but to see how when the precedence is to have fun all the time and make this the sole reason for making and spending money that I am living out a delusion of what is really important and relevant to the over all goal of creating a one and equal world.

I commit myself to start to paying more attention and become aware of what and where I am spending and placing focus on within my financial situation and world.

I commit myself to make room for things that I enjoy doing and realize that this is the icing of the cake where I can see that the things that I enjoy are not meant to be avoided but in all actually give more value within the point of not making them everything in which my life is about.

I commit myself to see that the actual value comes from understanding my personal commitment that I have made and making the way I use time and money as a reflection of that.

I commit myself to take the stabilization of myself financial seriously so that I do not allow myself to squander or ignore the time that I have been giving here to work through myself and find my true potential.

I commit myself to stop wasting time within imagination about what I would do in the future with a specific amount of money or how it would improve with the addition of a particular object.

I commit myself to stop thinking that I will be better of with the addition of certain things into my world.

I commit myself to look within/as common sense as the point of what is the best
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste time within thoughts about things that I would like to have in the future, and trick myself into thinking that my life would be so much better if I had this, or that, instead of looking at from within common sense what will actually allow me to be satisfied with what is really available to me.

When and as I see myself ignoring the position from in which I live and have been born into and also ignoring the responsibility comes along with this, I stop and breathe, remembering that within the point of being born into and raise within a country where there is a considerably greater proportion of the global wealth spread in inequality lies that I should be able to utilize myself to my fullest potential to make sure that I am able to become a being that can stand up for all in all ways available to me.

I commit myself to move myself within my world and stop ignoring and squandering the resources that are readily available to me so I can become a effective force within this world.

I commit myself to here forth to stop the current social paradigm within myself here in Canada to only look to consume for my own sake and cut out my own slice of the world.

I commit myself to see that standing one and equal actually requires me to use money in such a way that will move the world to a place of equal wealth for all.

I commit myself to realize that ignoring the opportunities currently available to me will only prolong the inequality the exist.

I commit myself to move myself through the resistances to stand up for all in stabilizing and expanding my world financially.

I commit myself to move past the my comfort zone when it comes to find ways to educate and utilize the movement of finances within my world.

I commit myself to take up the opportunities available to me and to stop standing within a point of letting them pass me by because I do not want to experience discomfort.

I commit myself to see how many in this world presently live in a constant state of discomfort because of the imbalance of the current economic model.

I commit myself to become a advocate for and new way of conducting ourselves here within this country where I am able to make a influential stand.

I commit myself to utilize the opportunities to create the world that I would prefer to live in where all can experience themselves as there full potential through first walking out my mind and re birthing myself as life once again, standing up within all aspects of myself including the financial aspect.

Thanks I will continue within other aspects within how happiness still controls me in more posts to come.

247. Giving up myself, fore-sake-in happiness. SF

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to come of track for the sake of moving and within that all of the desires that have come up about living in a life of comfort and contentment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place material things as being important, and not realizing how these things that I place as desire are really of inconsequential next to the process that I am walking.

I forgive myself to for accepting and allowing material possessions to take precedence over and above my ability to exist here and see the value in maintaining myself from a position of principle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the points of desire are actually point of which I create particular conditions that base and allow to stand in place of myself where I give up my own self expression and movement for the energetic experience of obtaining things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will become better or my life will become more valuable if I get these things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a fuss about the things that I apparently need within my world to be OK and to really accept myself in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand behind the things that I desire where in I give in and give up on myself as self honesty when I am in a state of desire for material objects.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see myself as one and equal to the physical world, and actually start to imbue the physical objects around me as more then myself where I give them the ability and power to be something that is greater then my ability to self express, and realize myself actually as the physical reality one and equal to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give over my own power to physical objects because I stand within the belief that things will make me happier and within that create conditions for myself to be fulfilled to create experiences to be happy, just on the condition of having or possessing a particular thing/object.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand within the ultimate for of not acceptance of myself where I stand from a position of less than my potential because I am only basing my personal self view in from a point of how much money I can utilize for my own gain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the real point of money which is to not realize the actual potential of money within this world that I can be a part of which is to create a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to instead only focus my money into and as just personal contentment within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand within and believe that the point of obtaining things will actually make me feel more secure and safe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see how I will not be able to make any difference if I myself do not move myself in creating myself as a stable being.

I forgive myself for not seeing how I am accepting and allowing myself to only look for the things that will stand as a distraction within my world and not actually see how this is a temporary solution to the problem where energetically I can see that this does not last as eventually the energy will run out and change forms.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind my possessions for the sake of my own individual happiness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself myself to not see how this form of generating energy through and within accumulating possessions is really about making a stand in for a actual standing up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the common sense approach within material things where something may genuinely improve my ability to express myself or improve my ability to live my life easier but get lost within the point of desire, and looking for happiness and there allow myself to only live within a limited self experience/expression where I do not actually take notice or care into what is happening around me in the rest of the world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to utilize my ability to purchase or obtain material things that will actually assist me in creating a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not allow myself to move past the desire for things to the point where I am not allowing my actual potential for self change and within that world change to take place and become a consistent self expression for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to squander money and time as a representation within money for the sake of standing in feelings/desires/thoughts in about about material desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then go into a form of guiltiness when I see myself desiring a particular thing, and within this realize that I do not have to deny myself everything material but to really start looking at the places that I am giving attention and spending my money on/within.

I forgive myself for not seeing the common sense approach to this situation which is to utilize self honesty within each case/point that comes up in relation to spending money on material things.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take the point of stabilizing myself financially seriously, and within that not allowing myself to come to any real conclusions about with is really important and realistic within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste time within thoughts about things that I would like to have in the future, and trick myself into thinking that my life would be so much better if I had this, or that, instead of looking at from within common sense what will actually allow me to be satisfied with what is really available to me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to utilize fully what I am able to do as my full potential within my world and recognize the position that I have have been born into which is to be born into the country of Canada where there is significant more affluence here than other countries and to realize that what I have been doing within my financial world so far is to squandering the resource that are around and available to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be satisfied within what I have been born into and instead only see how there is a expectation within the culture of Canada to just consume and keep consuming without applying the principles of equality and oneness to the decision making process.

246. Giving up myself, fore-sake-in happiness.

So here I would like to just continue writing a bit about happiness.

I have kind of come off track within the past week with the move and such but I have noticed something within in it that has really opened up some new perspectives about happiness.

It’s interesting that within my current situation I have noticed how all these little things that I view my world as being important are really quite irrelevant and inconsequential.

Materialism for instance is something that I have taken note of, I can see how all these conditions of self are all based within and towards having all this stuff that supposedly make my experience of myself better. The thing is though what are these things actually representing within me? I notice how within each case, within each thing that I really desire lies a point of belief that somehow I will be better of with this item or thing in my life. I create all this fuss in my world where I am facing this sense of identity around a object or product that I belief is going to make it all OK when in fact all that is happening is that I am creating a scenario of none acceptance of myself. I am placing my validity of self outside of me, in these material object, giving my sense of self over and onto the physical world as products to the point where I do not actually see the physical object for what they are as myself as the physical and instead lay a layer of dependency over them by making them a condition for my own personal happiness. I am giving up myself here in/as the physical existence for a feeling of happiness that is generated by the condition of having something.

I see that this is the ultimate form of none acceptance of self, where I think that I am something less then my potential not from the point of being satisfied with myself as self movement within my world but merely what objects can do for me. I define myself by and within what I am capable of doing within the prerequisite of how much money I am able to utilize, and not actually see what is the real point and purpose of obtaining money within my world. Which is to actually make something of the money that will benefit all and not merely my own feelings of contentment.

Am I really going to feel safe and secure if I have all this stuff? How will having all these objects going to protect me from what is to come if I do not stabilize myself? What seems to be the fundamental point within this system is that I look to hide within the possessions, I look to make life about things and how those things make me feel about my experiences here rather than actually being here with myself and standing here as myself. I can see how this is a main point within how all of us conduct ourselves in this world where we all are looking for that thing that will distract us for the next little bit of time. We hide behind our things for the sake of happiness, until that thing cannot generate that feeling any longer with the require amount of distraction. This apply to everything, entertainment (movies, games, sports, even particular books), things (skateboards, computers, furniture, cooking equipment), other beings (pets, spouses, friends), even food. All of this really I can see is just a stand in for realizing myself in all cases, I give up who I really am in all moments of breathe for the distraction that something new brings. Now not to rag on the usefulness that innovative and enjoyable new things can provide and how certain inventions and object can bring ease to our lives and save time, but I can see how within my own life how this has overlapped the simplicity of this platform of what is useful and productive into the arena of things that are purely just for generating a limited experience of making oneself happy and contented. It placates me into a state of really not moving myself past that feeling. To the degree that I forget and frankly do not give much of a damn about what else is going on out there. I forget about the rest of the world because I have what is going to make me personally happy and contented. For a time that is until that object just does not do it for me anymore. So where in this lies the solution?

It makes sense that the real point to see is to move my/oneself out of look at objects and things from the perspective of what can this thing do for me and how does it make me feel, to one of looking at the larger picture in how can I use the resources within my grasp to improve the situation here on earth for everyone? How does the way that I choose to spend my time and money in my life to actually place myself as a vector for real change, and from there coming to a conclusion of what is common sense in the things I buy and the areas where I choose to give my attention to. (watching a stand up may make me happy for a short time, but how will that improve life conditions for all those that do not even have a TV or access to internet?)

So I can see that improving my situation and stabilizing myself financially also is a point to consider and take seriously. And not to deny making myself available to create opportunity for myself to explore and expand myself, but this really has nothing to do with getting happiness, or filling up my life with things for that purpose, but really looking at what is going to allow me to be satisfied with how I am conducting myself in my world. Am I using whats available to me to live a productive life, and living up to my true potential and making practical use of what I am able to obtain and bring into my world or am I just looking to hide behind this things and forsaking myself in the process of accumulation?

I see how I should be able to stop the squandering of the physical world around me to make myself happy and instead utilize the unique position that I have been born into and fully move myself into the real true potential of myself, seeing only what is really important to make the change from life as possessions within possession, to practical use of resources to bring about a world best for all.

OK I will walk through this point in self forgiveness and self correction in the next posts to come.

245. Consequences of a unaware moment. More sc statements.

When and as I see myself acting and living within/by a systemic fear of not being accepted by other being and within this I do not not allow myself to see and set particular limits in how I relate and deal with other beings, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that when I am looking to build myself up within the eyes of other beings really what I am saying about myself is that I do not accept me, trust me, or value myself enough to stand within a point of stability in each moment, viewing myself constantly from within a negative starting point and in the attempt to win over others with deeds and words what I am trying to do is move myself from a negative energetic starting point to a positive energetic starting point.

So I thus commit myself to change my relationship to energy where I recognize the way that I am behaving and interacting with other beings has/is really a form of self preservation within and as the belief and cultivation of energy within me as my mind.

I commit myself to realize that every time that I am looking to “help” someone that what is really taking place is a systematic outsourcing of energy to gain greater returns for myself.

I commit myself to stop the negative self view as my starting point within my interactions with other beings and to find and locate with the use of the tools of self forgiveness, and self corrective application to find the source of this negative self view/judgment, and realizing that this may take time to fully uncover why I do not actually hold faith in myself outside the systems of energetic polarity.

When and as I see myself taking other peoples lives into myself as a point of responsibility, and buying into the belief that I can improve a persons experience of themselves through the lending out of money or giving of advice, I stop and breathe, and see that social change does not actually come from personal charity, but a consistent and constant living expression of principles of equality and oneness with all life.

I commit myself to see how in accepting and allowing myself to take other peoples problems on/into my own sphere of responsibility I am really diminishing myself.

I commit myself to see that taking actual responsibility for all that is here requires a clear starting point within myself and within my process.

I commit myself to see how walking within my process as a clear starting point really stands in a example for others to see with or without them being aware of it or even taking notice, and that other people getting or understanding what I am doing or standing for is not a prerequisite for me to remain clear and stable within my journey and self expression.

When and as I see myself believing that my personal charity is a actual solution within this world I stop myself and breathe and realize that a actual solution would be to do everything that I can to bring about a unconditional basic income.

I commit myself to see how a basic income is a actual solution that address’s all forms of lack within our society.

I commit myself to realize that with a basic income we open doors within our communities to see where it really is that we stand to improve ourselves in a daily practice and see to what degree our societal problems really stem from lack of money and how much are being created within the mind.

I commit myself to stand up for and encourage the systematic reform of political and economic models within my community so as to bring about a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to see how real change starts with the self first and that learning and investigating for myself ways that will allow the instillation of a basic income to come into being and that this will actually be a solution that will remove the fear that is associated with survival and pave the way for others to be able to focus on and walk through a deeper process of self change.

When and as I see myself falling into a point of belief and self deception that comes up within participation with the mind I stop myself and breathe remembering that what I am actually experiencing is a point of self deception and the I do not actually have to participate, and within this that the failure to do so is really a point of ignoring life and giving into the con of consciousness.

I commit myself to stop participating in my mind.

I commit myself to see that looking externally for some kind of seeing or knowing will always lead to a situation where I view something or someone as greater then myself.

I commit myself to realize that the application of myself as principled living is where real satisfaction with myself lies.

I commit myself to see how anything else then remaining here as breathe is in fact the mind and that I will be giving up my right to life and instead giving up my own self expression to a system of energy, which is not of life but actually a abstraction that I have created and projected onto reality.

I commit myself to not forget the the actual solutions will come forth from a place of walking myself through each moment in breathe and will never come out of the mind consciousness system that I create through memories, ideas, and beliefs about the world.

When and as I see myself loaning out money as a point of “helping” another and reacting to the another being when failure to repay the “help”, I stop myself and breathe and realize that I am creating this scenario within my mind, and that what is really going on in this situation is that within the point I have created a debtor and debtee position between myself and the other being and I am only looking to created and maintain a position of power over another being.

I commit myself to stop the separation with other being from the perspective that when choose to loan out money or speak with another being I stop doing so from a starting point of gaining a power position for myself over that other being.

I commit myself to see that the difference in status’s of debtor and debtee are actually being created within my own mind, and that the support that I have given is not actually freely given and that I am creating a unspoken contract with the other being in which they must repay to remain suitable or acceptable within my eyes.

I commit myself to stop testing other beings as a comparison point of whether or not other beings are worthy of my help and worthy of my generosity.

I commit myself instead to place myself within the starting point of understanding of how things within this world actually functions when it comes to money and information, and from there become more selective with how I choose to interact and assist other, realizing that real support can only come from and stand within a self expression of assistance, which is only really valid and worthwhile if my starting point is clear within myself.

I commit myself to stop the expectations of something in return when I provide some for of assistance to another being and within this realize that support and assistance should be free from any expectations beyond reasonable common sense.

I commit myself to not devalue the financial position of myself and see that to really make a difference within this world that I will have to place myself in a position of example for others.

When and as I see myself becoming angry within myself when another being does not return what I have given out, I stop myself and breathe and see how in this stage of the world that many things like this may happen and that it is not something that I need to clutter up my mind with.

I commit myself to see how this who point will take time as I can see within my own process and my own reactions to this situation that it is undeniable that it will require time and practice within myself to come to a place where despite what other people may or may not do, say, or give that it is really me that is in control of my emotions and my ability to remain here.

I commit myself to stop giving unnecessary attention and heed to the system of debt valuation and comparison with others on where another being stands in regards to what they owe me.

I commit myself to not realize that I will not be able to guarantee what another being may do or not do when they are given money and to realize what it is that is the real driving forces as to why people may not see it as courteous to be doing what it is that is what is best for them and best for all in each moment.

I commit myself to see that anger actually is representing friction within my approach and relationship within other within my community and that this expectation is something that is showing me how I still regard others as separate from myself and have yet to realize the actuality of how all are one and equal.

I commit myself to stop the mind in controlling me and see how anything that comes up is really only a point of self interest within me where I do not recognize how this whole system is created out of wanting more for myself secretly and not stopping myself to recognize the personal responsibility that I have to all as myself to stop my mind and work within my own reality first to stop my own points of separation.

244. Consequences of a unaware moment. Sc part 1.

When and as I see myself in a position to lend out money to another being within my workplace, I stop myself and breathe and access whether or not it would be acceptable within the boundaries of my workplace, see if it is actually in the best interest of the other being where I would actually be assisting another being or actually providing the being with a way to commit self abuse.

I commit myself to realize that giving out money at any request can actually do harm to others.

I commit myself to see how placing myself in a position that is outside the regulations of the personal boundaries of my workplace could create problems within the community of my workplace.

I commit myself to realize how giving money to another being may not always be in their best interest where I could be setting in motion the opportunity for another being to commit abuse to self.

I commit myself to see where lending out money is not always a way for me to stand for a best for all solution to the other beings situation.

When and as I see myself letting emotions rule over me within my decisions of whether or not that I am supposed to lend money to another being I stop myself and breathe and realize that within this I may be not see the common sense within the situation and that I could be subject to influence of my emotional stance on the situation.

I commit myself to stop the emotional responses that I have when I see that another being tells me how they are suffering when I know that many of the beings within my workplace are subject to addictive behaviors involving drugs and medication.

I commit myself to see how no matter how convincing another being is in there desperation for money that this does not mean that I need to provide them with the money to continue self abuse.

I commit myself to realize that compassion does not mean that I have to trust that every being that asks me for money is going to being using the money in a productive or self honest way.

When and as I see myself lending out money simply to gain another beings acceptance I stop and breathe, and see that in most cases I will not be able to realize the entire story behind every beings request, and so to not stop the process of giving but to actually become more aware of where I should be giving and in what capacity.

I commit myself to stop the reactions of sympathy with other beings where I just go along with what another being wants or asks me for just because I feel sorry for there situations.

I commit myself in those situations to access how I can assist another being where it does not support there preexistent systems/addictions especially in my place of work.

I commit myself to stop making financial decisions on a whim just to please others, before having a clearer picture of what it is someone is actually asking for.

When and as I see myself becoming disappointed with another being about not being paid what I am owed for lending out money then I stop and breathe and realize that in the end it is only money and that sometimes it is just the way things go and that I should be able to let it go.

I commit myself to relax when another being may not pay back what they have said they would pay back.

I commit myself to realize that the fear/anxiety/worry that comes up within these moments is a point of not feeling valued by the other being when I took up value within their situation.

I commit myself to see how this point is really touching on my own internal systems of greed and capitalistic mentality where I do not view the other being as equal and one but rather someone/thing that I am buying respect and admiration with my money, and as this being is now in my debt they must first give me what is owed to me first before being able to buy back their freedom within my eyes.

I commit myself to see how within these situations that it is not always in/from the same source that I would gain back the effort that is represented within a monetary exchange, but sometimes it will take time and come up as a unexpected source, but realizing overall that living within and as the principle of equality and oneness, and as the the process of giving that the expectation of reciprocal compensation really renders the whole point of giving pointless.

When and as I see myself participating within and as gossip with beings about things that come up about my relationships with others, I stop myself and breathe and see how I am actually just looking to gain another beings acceptance and approval through complain.

I commit myself to see how the point of complaining and spitting gossip is really just anger that has been suppressed within me to the point where I find other ways to express the anger.

I commit myself to use the tools, of self forgiveness and self corrective statements, along with practical application of myself to change who I am towards others.

I commit myself to see how within accepting denial about what I do and stand for is really just creating a bigger problem within my world initially.

When and as i see myself feeling shameful for failing to keep my personal interactions with other beings confidential I stop myself and breathe, I commit myself to realize the actuality of the situation and learn from the experience in asking myself why I am subjecting myself to these situations and for what reason.

I commit myself to see what it is that the situations I am creating are actually standing for in the first place which is really only self interest where I am looking to gain acceptance from another being through lending out money or by giving out information about what I am facing with another being.

When and as I see myself within becoming the central focus of a situation through my own actions I stop myself and breathe and bringing myself back here as breathe instead of going into a place of self judgment for what I have done, to instead see the opportunity within the situation to learn and discover how and why I am still participating in the mind to where the situation results in a outcome that is not beneficial for all in all cases.

I commit myself to act on the lessons that I create for myself where I am able to then change myself the next time something comes up where I am faced with the same situation or something similar.

When and as I see myself becoming fearful of reprisal for my actions I stop and breathe and see how within this there lies the actuality of the situation where it shows me that I am really only interested in self preservation and the building up of myself.

I commit myself to stop acting in and reacting as a point of fear only within my actions and reactions in how I deal with decisions and how I communicate and interact with others in my world.

I commit myself to realize how things that are apparently said in passing and as a “light” nature are actually a manifestation of a fearful way of conducting myself and that despite my intentions I may be a trigger for others, and may actually bring up a strong reaction within others who are not even actually involved directly within the situations that I face.

I therefore commit myself to speak from a place of principle only and within this find out the place in which I am speaking from a place of mind and stop that behavior and type of interactions.

I commit myself to see that why I have chosen still participate within conversations that are “light” is to apparently gain others trust and prep them somewhat to speak about other things, when in fact this is not necessary and that if I am able to speak from a place of principle that no fluff talk is required and I will or will not get through to another being and that this should not actually have any bearing on if I am saying or doing something the other being likes or is stimulated by.

When and as I see myself becoming fearful of the next outcome of a situation I stop myself and breathe and take full responsibility for my actions and so accept anything that comes up as a point to learn from instead of fearing punishment see the point as a opportunity to learn about what I can change within myself.

I commit myself to stop the fear of punishment and realize that whatever may come out of mistakes that I make is part of this process and that I will and should be able to face it without going into fear denial about my involvement and responsibility to the situations that I create.

When and as I see myself going into a deep pit of self pity and judgment of myself, painting myself as horrible I stop and breathe and realize that this is really not a solution and is in fact just a way for me to shift the responsibility of learning from my mistakes once again.

I commit myself to realize that I will make mistakes until I am able to create and stand up within a stable set of principles within myself as a self expression of who I am.

Therefore I commit myself to stop judging myself for making mistakes and simply move forward with a more broad understanding of myself and why I do/say the things that I do/say.

I commit myself in seeing how this is really a test of standing up to the face of my mind and making a choice from the starting point of acting in self interest and doing what I want to do based within feeling, emotion, and thought. Or standing and facing myself as my mistakes and choosing a different path the next time I face a situation that is similar.

243. Consequences of a unaware moment. Sf.

Its been a few days since last writing as I am in the middle of a move, so I will pick up here where I left off about the incident that occurred last week.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the full extent of my behaviour in relationships towards other people where in most of my interactions I am standing in a place of fear by expressing and behaving from a place of trying to please the another being and within this not actually living and starting myself from a place of principle of self honesty, self-trust, and of an understanding of equality and oneness with all as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within this fear not let my self set the limits and barriers that I know are necessary to create a healthy and proper work relationship with those that I am serving, and in such fostering the potential for conflict and unnecessary problems within my life and within theirs.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the compassion that I believe myself to be showing by lending money and information has more to do with satisfying my own ego/self-interest in creating the idea within me that I am a benevolent being. When in fact the actual form of compassion lies within the understanding of self honesty where I am able to live here as the principle of equality and oneness within each moment of breath first, and then seeing self honestly what is the actual best option in each situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am responsible for the experiences that the people in the shelter are having and that in lending out money or advice that I will be able to improve or change their experiences for the better. When in self honesty I can see that this is again ego, and that the real solution lies not within personal charity but within educating and working to implement world systems that are going to make the situation of homelessness one that is unlikely for everyone like a guaranteed basic income.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that a basic income is the actual solution along with providing the care to people who need support within society unconditionally, while standing within the understanding that a realistic model within society is need first which may mean that a UNIVERSAL basic income may initially not be what is required, but instead focusing on the current state of affairs where the people who are in desperate need should be the focus.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in the mean time that lending out money and information is the best that I personally can do, while not realizing that within a solid foundation of understanding placed into this sector that any money that I lend out could be used to reinforce the mind consciousness systems of others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to instead encourage the investigation of a systematic reform like a basic income or other forms of participation within society like a fluid/direct democratic model for Canada.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is some kind of truth that comes from participating within the mind, and that I can come to any kind of personal knowing or personal satisfaction from gaining other people’s approval, and forgetting that the real point of self satisfaction will come from an application of myself as principles of equality and oneness in every moment of breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the simplicity of living a life of principles and that in walking these principles for myself will always lead to the best outcome for all in all cases because I will be acting accordingly from/within equality and oneness of all in each breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the truth of the situation where I am only reacting to a perceived slight towards me instead of see the situation as one were when I make a decision to lend out money that I do so within the point of doing so without expectation of receiving something back in return, like seeing the point of when I choose to lend a hand to someone who this is/becomes a point of personal expression and not only a way to gain acceptance and gather debt in towards myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry with the other being when I see that I will not get what I gave out, believing that there is something wrong with the other person, instead of realizing that this is something that could and will happen consistently within the world to many people, and that expecting repayment or reconciliation is something that exist only as a system of debt valuation within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the anger is really a representation of what I expect from other people within society.

I forgive myself for accepting allowing myself to not see how this is really only based within and as a point of self-interest to me where I am actually only interested in making things right for myself and regarding what I am able to get back from another being.

Ok I’ll continue in the next post with more.