Its been a few days since last writing as I am in the middle of a move, so I will pick up here where I left off about the incident that occurred last week.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the full extent of my behaviour in relationships towards other people where in most of my interactions I am standing in a place of fear by expressing and behaving from a place of trying to please the another being and within this not actually living and starting myself from a place of principle of self honesty, self-trust, and of an understanding of equality and oneness with all as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within this fear not let my self set the limits and barriers that I know are necessary to create a healthy and proper work relationship with those that I am serving, and in such fostering the potential for conflict and unnecessary problems within my life and within theirs.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the compassion that I believe myself to be showing by lending money and information has more to do with satisfying my own ego/self-interest in creating the idea within me that I am a benevolent being. When in fact the actual form of compassion lies within the understanding of self honesty where I am able to live here as the principle of equality and oneness within each moment of breath first, and then seeing self honestly what is the actual best option in each situation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am responsible for the experiences that the people in the shelter are having and that in lending out money or advice that I will be able to improve or change their experiences for the better. When in self honesty I can see that this is again ego, and that the real solution lies not within personal charity but within educating and working to implement world systems that are going to make the situation of homelessness one that is unlikely for everyone like a guaranteed basic income.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that a basic income is the actual solution along with providing the care to people who need support within society unconditionally, while standing within the understanding that a realistic model within society is need first which may mean that a UNIVERSAL basic income may initially not be what is required, but instead focusing on the current state of affairs where the people who are in desperate need should be the focus.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in the mean time that lending out money and information is the best that I personally can do, while not realizing that within a solid foundation of understanding placed into this sector that any money that I lend out could be used to reinforce the mind consciousness systems of others.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to instead encourage the investigation of a systematic reform like a basic income or other forms of participation within society like a fluid/direct democratic model for Canada.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is some kind of truth that comes from participating within the mind, and that I can come to any kind of personal knowing or personal satisfaction from gaining other people’s approval, and forgetting that the real point of self satisfaction will come from an application of myself as principles of equality and oneness in every moment of breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the simplicity of living a life of principles and that in walking these principles for myself will always lead to the best outcome for all in all cases because I will be acting accordingly from/within equality and oneness of all in each breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the truth of the situation where I am only reacting to a perceived slight towards me instead of see the situation as one were when I make a decision to lend out money that I do so within the point of doing so without expectation of receiving something back in return, like seeing the point of when I choose to lend a hand to someone who this is/becomes a point of personal expression and not only a way to gain acceptance and gather debt in towards myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry with the other being when I see that I will not get what I gave out, believing that there is something wrong with the other person, instead of realizing that this is something that could and will happen consistently within the world to many people, and that expecting repayment or reconciliation is something that exist only as a system of debt valuation within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the anger is really a representation of what I expect from other people within society.
I forgive myself for accepting allowing myself to not see how this is really only based within and as a point of self-interest to me where I am actually only interested in making things right for myself and regarding what I am able to get back from another being.
Ok I’ll continue in the next post with more.