Over the past couple days I have attempted to write, but I kept coming up against myself where I was doubting what I was writing about, why I was writing about particular things, and why I felt like I needed to share those particular points.
Within this it goes to show the state that I still am in within my own mind. How my writing is still coming from and within a point of mind in most cases.
I notice that really do not want to change in many areas, like, I just stand within this negative view of myself and cannot see what my true potential could be. Actually when I imagine what I could be, I just go automatically to a place of doubt. Something interesting that I notice about this is how when within my process I see myself making some small progress, then immediately when in the mind I acknowledge that progress to myself, its like this point of self sabotage appears. Like I do not want to change, and really accept that I am worthy of change within me.
I am still gaining my footing within my process here and I really need to practice the point of not projecting ideas of who or what I am onto my reality and instead just stick with the principles that I have learn within walking with desteni. To in writing find and walk through my mind in self forgiveness and self correction to make sure that I can stand stable. And most importantly accept that stability instead of doubting it just because it is something that I have been living with since my childhood anyways.
So time to stop judging myself for the way that I have lived my life so far and face myself in the moment. Within writing it is plain to see that how I express myself and my choices with how I look to conduct myself there does not have to be a particular style I have to adhere to. I do not have walk this process according to some predetermined set of rules, but rather look to just move myself within the guidelines of self honesty.
Time to stop giving up to the projections of ideas that I have about how things are and simply walk through the ideas realizing that they are simply there as parts and pieces of what I have accepted and allowed myself to believe are true.
Time to stop sharing things that I think others will want and need to hear and realize the points that are relevant and pertinent to me within my world. Focusing on the points that come up within me as they come up, taking on my mind in real time instead of trying to mine my mind for things that sound profound.
So within this I commit myself to stop writing from a place of mind.
I commit myself to start writing from within self honest about the things that are really affecting me.
I commit myself to write about the points that come up within me even if they do not sound as profound as something that I see would be as well received as writing about more abstract subjects.
I commit myself to trust myself within writing so as to build the self intimacy that is required to walk this process self honestly.
I commit myself breathe though the points where I find myself wanting to writing about something because I think it will sound good by other beings.
I commit myself to stop writing my blog for other beings within the point of wanting to write something that will sound profound.
And I commit myself to start trusting my progress within my process and really see how the point of regression is really a point of not accepting myself to live and walk through change, as a actuality of my true potential. Seeing how what I have done is reduce that potential to a giving up of myself as life here in breathe, to a experience of myself within the polarity scale as me as singularity as the negative within a lesser view/experience of me, to the equality of myself as singularity of me as neutrality, and then gathering energy to experience myself as more than myself as the positive energy, and in this not realizing that this is the con of consciousness where I only ever live within and as this experiences of myself as a single separate bubble of mind expression, and not a actual life expression here in each breathe.
Alright I will look at this point more in the coming days as I work through other points and look to find the self honesty within the points that I write about, as well as explore this point in greater depth as I go.