268. Letting others down easy. Part.3

When and as I see myself not realizing that the point to consider within my interactions with other beings is that I should be looking for self honest acceptance within myself, where I am totally satisfied with where I stand within myself according to principles.

I commit myself to trust myself in finding out where I actually stand and not fear making adjustments to myself when I can recognize that I am not in alignment of a self honest starting point within myself.

I commit myself to stop looking for acceptance outside of myself.

I commit myself to see how any time that I am looking for acceptance from others is a point of self dishonesty where I am not trusting and accepting me within myself.

I commit myself to thus work towards creating a stable me in all situation regardless if they include other beings or not.

I commit myself to realize that the primary foundation for self doubt begins within the acceptance and allowance of the mind within me still, where I am continuing to place value within thoughts feelings emotions.

When and as I see this experience of self doubt and non self acceptance start to interfere with and start to generate fear within how I am able to express myself about what I see to make sense, I stop myself and breathe, that I am really only placing a muzzle on myself.

I commit myself to see how the nonacceptance of me is actually a point of not fully integrating the REALIZATION of the principles of equality and oneness within myself, and that this is evident within the continued acceptance and allowance of the mind within me.

I commit myself to walk myself step by step through this process out of the mind so I am able to actually trust myself within all scenarios that I am in.

I commit myself to work within my process to break down the fear of voicing myself and trusting the points that I do see clearly to come through as a expression of myself.

When and as I see myself not taking the initiative to step beyond the fear of being judged and rejected by others I stop myself and breathe, and within this realize finally that beyond that fear is the freedom to make the choice that is best for all regardless what other beings think of me in that moment.

I commit myself to face myself and realize that if I do not there is no change within me, there is no opportunity for change since the opportunity is squandered within fear.

I commit myself to realize the this fear of being judged by others and thinking that I will offend someone or let them down within the point of voicing myself as I see and understand is really only happening within me, I am fearing those things and making that real within me.

I commit myself to see how in some cases there is the possibility for beings to react energetically to the things that I express, but to realize that this is part of the process of mankind and that I should not hold myself back when I see a opportunity to clearly state where and for what I stand.

I commit myself to see how sharing myself and the points that I have become clear within can be part of the process of all, where my small contribution can be a catalyst for change in others so I should not hold myself back within fear of judgments and ostracization when I realize that something within me can be stated clearly.

When and as I see myself noticing the point of not accepting me and silencing myself about my current position and understanding within the Desteni principles I stop myself and breathe, and see how this is actually a system of non self acceptance that has carried over from other areas of my life where I have not been accepting of me in those areas of my life in the past.

I commit myself to then stop in those moments and realize that I am only reliving the past patterns where I do not give myself the required trust to walk through my life with confidence, and realize that this is not actually who I am, but in reality it is a self accepted program based within fear of failure, and rejection.

I commit myself then to make a flag-point of the fear of rejection within me, and break it down by the application of the tools of self forgiveness and self corrective statements, and then go out and actually apply the changes that I have realize about myself within the writing.

I commit myself see that this is really nothing more then a irrational fear system within myself and that this is something that has been blown way out of proportion throughout my life where I am not actually having any sense of self importance to the person that it actually matters to, myself, and in this giving all the power of acceptance to the outside world which is not conducive to self progression, only self destruction.

When and as I see myself standing within a rut I stop myself and breathe, and make the connection that this is the cyclical nature of the mind where I the feelings generate the actions that perpetuate that system within myself.

I commit myself to put a stop to the feelings, emotions, thoughts that are the point of generating friction within me where I create the actions and inaction that hold me within the experiences of separation of myself as life and the mistrust of myself within self acceptance.

I commit myself instead to break the cycles of the mind where I do not accept myself to hold myself within a point of negative self view, and instead work with myself from a point of breathe as my stability and always come back to that point where I am breathing to find myself here.

I commit myself to work through the resistances within me in a practical way and see how this will require some planning and within that planning to make this a form self intimacy where I can look and self honestly find out what it is that I would like to do within my life, what are the things that I would aspire to achieve and first look at if they are realistic. Am I truly capable of such things? Or just in desire, and if so I commit myself to let go of those desire points and work within practically to get to a point of self sufficiency, and work out how I can be satisfied with my life at the same time as choosing paths that are best for all.

I commit myself to realize that best for all mean best for myself where I can subdue my self gratification to choose a path that will benefit all rather then only a myself and a few others.

When and as I see myself hold on to a belief that I MUST become super rich to be effective within my life and the world I stop myself and breathe, and realize that while money is the source of movement in this world presently, I do not have to define the success of myself as a being in and to money, as well as realizing the money will flow in whatever way that is relevant to the amount of input that I place on myself and within my process of creating myself as a effective being.

So I commit myself to see that creating myself effectively will always be the precursor to the responsible management of money within my life.

I commit myself to realize that the real change within my personal world has not to do with my financial situation, but my financial situation is but a reflection of myself within my personal world, and how I still relate and define myself within my own mind.

I commit myself to see that global change will have to come through the collaboration of responsible beings who are stable within themselves as self directive beings who understand the role and utilization of money effectively, and as such, I commit myself to walk towards that goal of stabilizing me, and my finances, not from a point of getting rich or getting what I desire, but to become a being that is satisfied within the way that I conduct and express myself.

So when and as I see myself forgetting where I am, and becoming bogged down with this point of obsession about my financial situation and how I will ever become rich, I stop myself and breathe and within this I realize that the focus should be on as point of walking my life process first and within that recognizing that in doing so I can learn the self trust and self honesty to really use my gift of life effectively, and there the money will come as a reflection of my self expression.

I commit myself to walk this process as a point of finding out who I am as the true potential of what I could be and not allow belief systems to control the point of where I stand within my life.

I commit myself to bring myself back and state to myself that I am here when faced with a situation where I see I am just standing as a product of my mind within beliefs.

I commit myself to stop giving power into the belief that I must get rich as fast as possible and such deny myself the pragmatic solutions that will form self trust and self motivation from the perspective of realigning myself back into equality and oneness with life first.

I commit myself first then to place the emphasis within my life/process on finding real answers and solutions to the points that I face and thus work within what can be measured as results here within the physical world and does not rely on projections of the mind for me to be stimulated within.

I commit myself to then utilize the principles of what is best for all as the guiding point for myself in my day to day living and stop the tendencies that I still hold to act within self interest.

When and as I see myself letting go of all others within life as being inconsequential with how I conduct myself, and do not accept the world, blaming it for my situation, I stop myself and breathe, realize that all I am doing is trying to cover up my own self transgression by projecting those things outward.

I commit myself to start taking on my own personal self responsibility for the things that I do, say, think and act, and so becoming trustworthy first to myself and then standing as a example that others may emulate if they see it as beneficial for all.

I commit myself to take action within my life and realize that word with no practical application are really on words with no substance and are in fact just lies told within myself and my mind. SO I commit myself to prove to myself that I am as good as my word.

267. Letting others down easy. Pt 2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how a low self worth is a cyclical condition where the feeling generates the action, or inaction more commonly within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not come up with a concrete plan within myself first, finding out what it is that I would really be satisfied with in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself by something that another being has said and believe within myself that if I do not become rich that the world will not change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the pressure of this belief within myself bog me down within a point of obsession where I face all sorts of internal friction within myself when in fact the only real point to consider is “Am I Here?”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this belief to interfere with me actually forming trust within myself in finding real answers and solutions within my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be held up within my own belief structures and not consider the common sense points about what is the best area of application for me first, and work within that with self honesty, and directive ability.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to utilize the principle point of what is best for all in equality and oneness as the point of guidance from which I conduct myself within the practical living of the I am here statement.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to let go of all the rest where I do not accept the world and those living in it as it stands and within that place layers of judgment over-top of it/them and within that blind myself to my own behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take personal responsibility when it comes down to this point where plain and simple the outcome of my life is equal to and one with the input of my actions or inaction.

And so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue within the point of putting off taking action.

So when and as I see myself giving into experiences of fear within myself to do with uncertainty about others motives and level of understanding, I stop myself and breathe and within that realize that I am allowing this experience to exist by giving it focus within me, and making the realization that this fear is really a form of fear that is based from within points of uncertainty within myself.

I commit myself to see how this experience of fear exists in and towards others because I am not sure of my own standing/starting point.

I commit myself to see that this is generated within a comparison of myself vs these others beings where I am seeing within myself that I understand points within Desteni from within a intellectual level first and within that I become concerned of the direction and interactions that I have with other beings.

I thus commit myself to stop the point of comparison and give myself a reality check wherein I go back to basics within myself and living as a point of directing myself within the principles that I have learn within desteni, instead of only conceptualizing it within my mind.

When and as I see myself standing within a position of just wanting to be right and validated within myself instead of seeing what is best for all and how to approach a best for all solution within a situation, I stop myself and breathe, and within that see that I am just acting from a point of self interest and self perpetuation of not wanting to take any kind of action.

And so I commit myself stop taking the self righteous road and instead learn to see the best for all solution within any situation, where if I see something within a group that could benefit from a realization that I have made or that is in need of realignment, that I take that opportunity and work within that, instead of just wanting to run away with my ideas about what is right within my head.

I commit myself to work within the group where I can and thus find out if the view that I have is indeed accurate, or in itself needs realignment.

When and as I see myself in a position of fearing facing the uncertainties within myself I stop myself and breathe, remembering within myself that I am actually in a process of building self trust within myself and that this is something that I have never done before in self honesty, so it will take some time to gain a reliable footing within myself but the rewards for walking myself out of the mind are worth the point of facing the mind and giving up self interest.

And thus I commit myself to stop the fear of facing myself, my uncertainties and then walk myself step by step through this process, and realize that walking my process is the beginning of real change in this world where building that self trust allows me to take that self discipline and self action to all other areas of my life within who I interact within and what I choose to do.

I commit myself to become clear within myself first about what I see that I would be satisfied with doing within my life and what would be the most practical points for me to pursue.

When and as I see myself building up a experience of worrying about letting other beings down when voicing my concerns about a point or a issue I stop myself and breathe and realize that this is how things will take place within my process where I will have to become more comfortable and confident within speaking up for life, and that worrying about what others think about me or how they will react to hearing something outside of their beliefs will effect them is not always relevant, especially within groups that are geared towards changing the spectrum of economic or politics.

I commit myself to see the real point of voicing myself when I see the realization is best for all and stands within common sense.

I commit myself To realize that this is the fundamental point of focus within myself where I see needs the most attention where I am uncertain and not confident within voicing my current view.

I commit myself to voice myself when I can see clearly where I stand using the principles of equality and oneness as the guideline as my standing point.

When and as I see myself being influenced by and within what other beings are doing within their lives and I use this as a justification within myself to not stand up and talk action/voice myself from within where I stand, I stop myself and breathe, and remember that not taking action is how much of the points of separation in the world has been currently been placed and perpetuated.

So I commit myself to stop judging other beings for what I see as not being within the best interest of all, and realize that within those moments I actually have a opportunity to take a stand within myself and instead of judging others for their apparent separation to face my own fears of being judged and stand up and voice myself as I can see in those moments.

I commit myself trust within where I stand in my process, and trust that even if I a make mistakes within voicing myself the only actual real threat within this is personal self judgment where I start believing that I am not good enough, and that this is the real fear behind judgment from others, a fear within myself that somehow they are right.

I commit myself to see that I am more then just fear and reaction, and that having trust within myself is one of the most valuable gifts that I can give to myself.

I commit myself to work within myself to form self trust and find self honesty, and within this walk a path within my life to find out what I truly am capable of and what my full uninfluenced potential could be.

When and as I see myself allowing reactions from others to influence my ability to walk myself through process and place doubts within me, I stop myself and breathe, realign myself as the statement of “I am here”, and recognize the fear of acceptance from others is only taking place within me.

I commit myself to realize that I am the one that is actually directing me within my world and that not matter what anyone else thinks about me or says about me does not reflect the truth as I see within myself UNLESS I accept it to be so.

I commit myself to then realize that I can move myself past another beings judgments towards me, through the process of self realization as all as one as equal, by not participating in the mind and the addictive nature to blame others and point fingers at what they are actually doing or standing as when in reality I am only looking to cover up my own transgressions where I am not standing absolute.

OK I will finish up this post tomorrow as it time for bed.

266. Letting others down easy.

So I am facing a point where I find it hard to tell another being that I do not want to continue along a particular path.
This has been a recurrent theme within my life. This point has to do with walking a path that I do not necessarily see how inline this path is within the principles that I have started walking within the Desteni material.

I am facing a lot of friction within this and am very ambivalent on the subject since I have in the past had a strong propensity in not finishing what I have started.

In this point I notice within myself the desire to just have it go away, just ignore it and ignore those involved. Because I am unsure of where this is going or what it is they truly stand for.

Now the interesting point within this is it really only is highlighting my own indecision. It is really just showing how mixed up I am. I do not know where I am going with my life, I do not know what it is that I truly stand for yet. I can see common sense within the message of Desteni. I can hear what others within the group are saying, and see the space for me to take those principles in as my own… but have yet to do so in full. So what I do with other people is really just overlay that uncertainty on top of them. I am doing this with mostly everyone. Where I have nothing to say because I am not yet stable and committed within myself to stand behind the principles no matter what.

So yes the point here is to become clear and focused within myself about what I am doing, and not being afraid to stand up within that in ANY situation. I must become a being of integrity who knows what equality and oneness actually looks like practically. Right now, all I have is a green screen of guilt that backdrops all of my interactions with others. Where I feel like if I burst their bubble about what is real that I will not be liked or accepted by those people. Why do I care about that? Just because I do not accept me as the being I know that I am now. Just because in my mind I do not want to actually give up my procrastination of separation. That’s ridiculous. I should be able to stand, just breathe, and stand within understanding of where the world is at and instead of blaming worrying about where “they” are, find out where I really am.

Its difficult for me sometimes to see beyond these guilt tinted glasses, but that’s my choice of if I am going to wear them or not.

So,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into uncertainty about others based within a point of fear within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how this fear is actually a fear of facing my own uncertainties within my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become clear within my about the most practical options for what I should be involved within my life, and within this constantly make decisions that are rooted within feelings rather then a clear understanding of common sense principles.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always build a situation up and beyond what it is by worrying about letting other beings down, and what will happen when I let them down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place the emphasis always on what others stand for and what their plans/values are rather then my own.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to find my own footing within my life where I actually can find out what my actual potential is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others reactions to me walking to influence my walking and place doubt within myself about where I am going and if I will be accepted in where I am going.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the point to focus on is self acceptance rather then being accepted by others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard my own self acceptance to the point where I become afraid of actually voicing what I see, and why I see something to make sense or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not yet realize that I do not trust myself to voice myself yet is because within me I do not actually accept the principles as a actual self realization.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to walk myself out of the mind to a point of actually trusting myself to stand and voice myself in all situations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that this is why my life is so chaotic within my own mind because I am not yet taking the initiative to walk through the fear of being judged or rejected by others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not yet realize that this is really about a point of having low self worth where I have not in the past trusted myself enough to stand within a stable position, and this carried over into and as my starting point within the Desteni principles.

I will continue with this point in the next post.

265. Each moments potential.

So my internet was out for the past few days, and I have done some writing but not as much as I see that I could have.

I wrote some more about the point that I was working on before but I reach a point and really kind of “lost it”.

So here I am going to write about a point of blockages, I can see the potential within myself to form a trustworthy walking point. I see that point but keep running into this blockage where I just cannot quite get past sometimes.

I want to find out what this is all about, since I have done quite a bit of writing about this already, the point of just writing that is. I mean I am at a dead end on why I am still making it a point of forcing myself to do this rather then it be something that I enjoy.

I get bored I guess. I long for that distraction. When I know that I have time to work on my writing I will just always push it unto later. Turn on the game or something instead. I see that I have made a lot of progress so far, but in self honest examination of myself this is a real problem for me in the long term, I will not be able to be a effective force if I do not sort this out.

I do see that within a lot of what I am facing now it really stems from a negative self view, where I am constantly judging myself for my current failures, mistakes, and acts of separation. And from there I just punish myself internally, and call it even and move on but not really looking at why?? Why am I doing this to myself and to others? And in the question of asking why I can open it up and take a honest look at myself.

Slowing down and really focusing on what is really happening within this moment. I notice that a lot of the time I keep putting so much stuff above and beyond this moment when it come down to importance that I get sooooo messed up internally like this constant worrying aspect of myself, and within that I just keep looking at ways to escape from that worrying by adding something else to it, or distracting myself from it by forms of entertainment.

I have been having a lot of internal friction lately about what I see myself doing in terms of money/work/career, and I have had quite a few idea’s about this I wrote about it, but I have not wrote about it just for me. What would I be satisfied with? Where would I be satisfied within myself and what I can do? Where does my potential lie. I see that I have been carrying around this idea that potential is something that is akin to a dream, and my dream has morphed into this super rich mega human of some kind hahaha.

But dreams do not match reality, I see that I hold a desire to know all kinds of information, or rather I desire to hold that information now, like learning about chemistry fascinates me, but I just get bogged down with doing the actual work that is involved with actually making that a reality within my world.
Or for instance I got involved with a fledgling political party of which I was unfamiliar with the literature at the time, eager for change within the world I did not realize how much I would have to read, on a subject that I do have come to realize is not compatible with the principles presented within the desteni material.

So again it comes down to forming a routine that I can trust, something that I have committed to within myself to do every day, and within that making every day a step towards more awareness of myself. I have to stop placing myself in positions that are a reaching out grasping at something to give me self trust, when in actuality it is sometimes that I have to learn and walk within my own life first before I can start getting involved in earnest with other things. Not to say I have to wait within me to make moves and try new things or get involved but to recognize where I stand and for what I stand and make that the starting point of how I choose to move within my life instead of lusting after some dream of fame or riches in the name of equality, oneness, and freedom. To recognize what is the potential of myself in each moment rather then the potential of myself within a dream of who I desire to be within my mind. That is the difference that could use a investigation.

So I will stop there for tonight. I see what it is that I can be doing to work through these points and finally take a stand within myself. So I will push myself a little harder to see the edge of where my potential is at any given moment and strive for that. And remembering that the key to all of this is really within breathe. This moment in breathe is really the only thing that matters and is real, and from that breathe is my platform from which I then walk from.

Thanks.

264. Cute, sexy, beautiful, hot.

So here I want to open up on a point that generally effect me every day.

I definitely still have been defined within myself by a systematic structure of beauty. I realize that how I look at one being is not how I would look at the next. I place value within image still even though I would say that image does not matter. When it comes down to the point of attraction it does. It is interesting to note that within myself there are particular structures/conditions/images that make up the definition for these different words, (cute, sexy, beautiful, hot) and like in my mind they are not only about the outward appearance, and how it ties in within particular personalities that I see/interact with. But the part that is interesting is how I have made all this up within my mind. Like am I imagining it. Well on one level yes, I am imagining it, but on another level it comes back down to that awesome lovely social programming where I am bombarded by all this media and advertisements all over the place. I have heard the argument that instinctively we as males look/pick up on all sorts of unconscious cues when it comes to women, but that would just make me a product of instinct without actually taking accountability or directive ability within how I choose to view other beings. This point of social programming is in actually my acceptance and allowing of it, and not being self honest within how I walk with other beings within this world.

So back to how this plays itself out within my day to day living, when I go out into the world, on the bus, to the store, wherever, when I enter a new area I tend to notice the beings that I would consider attractive first. And something that I have been noticing lately is that I rarely if ever take notice of the other majority of beings within my radius of awareness. This is not cool and is something that I would like to sort out, and realize that this particular system is at the root of a lot of other points within me. Like how I interact with women, or how I treat a person based on first impressions for example.

So what would be the most prominent thing within this is how I give certain physical traits precedence over others, I have let it be known within me from a young age that there are certain parts of the female body are more private then others, when really its just all different bits of flesh one no more special then the next. But how it currently stands I see that I have a frighteningly precise measure of comparison between females bodies where I can look at two different girls in a moment and instantly within my mind find a “ranking” of how attractive they are based within my own personal taste and preference.

I notice that I have a definition/picture that is built into my mind consciousness system for all of the above words for girls, as well as other words, I could go into detail here but the main point of this post is about the system of classification itself.

So why do I do this? I mean all that I just wrote is pretty obvious. The action that is taken is almost like a compulsion. Where I have to like force myself to not just look around and seek out the beings that I classify in some way, for me to not just do this automatically.

I mean its not like it is a serious problem, like a obsession to the point where I cannot stop myself or look away, but I mean it comes up automatically when I am around/in groups of people (at the beach is a good example). I suppose it really just represents more energy within the mind where I am activating and charging those points within my mind, and as I can see from within the beach example, it is the generation of energy through a series of classification of female body parts where I have made specific parts some big thing within me so when I see them I react energetically. Pretty simple I suppose. I guess where it gets more complex is where I bring in my own self image and start to feel entitled to look at girls in that way, or that girls want me to look at them that way. I get a fair bit of attention, so I see that the roles can be reversed as well so I have subconsciously placed myself high on the rank of attractiveness towards females, I mean as a child I did not really look at these things like this but all these adults and peers as I grew kept telling me how “good looking” I am, so I suppose it stuck around in there in some respect, swelling my head, but at the same time I have never really been completely comfortable with having others look at me that way, it was and still is some amount of pressure, and I grew isolated within myself actually, nervous and self conscious about my image. So I can see how this applys to both sexes the point of classifying beings by the pictures they present rather then the realization that all life is equal and one.

So I supposed the first step within this would be to break down the idea within me that certain body parts are more noteworthy then others and within that realizing the point where I have created this classification/ranking system within me and finding out what specifically are the points in which I hold as criteria for the classification of women’s bodies. And men’s for that matter.

So I will pick this up again tomorrow with that point.

263. Taking directive ability and addressing the specifics.

So this is a post from over a couple days.

So within the theme of the post that I have been writing, something that I notice is how I have this tendency to look for the most profound points to write about. Within this it has lead me to end up taking on points that are part of much larger systems within me. And while I do see the support for myself within this, something that comes up is that I tend to loose focus and sight of the initial point. It becomes difficult for me to maintain my line of investigation within a point because often it ends up leading me into many other areas.

So here I would like to just write about and do self forgiveness on the point of slowing myself down and taking on the specific points once again within my day/life.

I notice that something that happens is that I within looking for a point that is bigger is I am going out to far ahead of where I currently stand. Like I am not actually standing within the words that I am writing in complete self application or even my ability to stand within those words at all. So it makes sense to slow myself down within my process and just focus on specific systems, words, and experiences that I have rather then looking for the deep roots of ideas that I have built up within my mind about things.

I notice that I should be able to walk through the specific moments that come up, pick one and work within it. Why do I not want to walk through the small stuff, the simple stuff first? I see that what I have been doing is that I want to make this process something more then what it is. I have become unconsciously impatient within myself, and in doing this I see that I am overstepping myself, its like I am see the points that I still struggle with and I am looking to solve those now. And example/analogy would be like trying to walk or run and telling myself in the mind that I can walk/run faster then this and force my legs to go faster, but the rest of me cannot keep up and I keep outrunning myself and falling. I have not placed the foundation/training in place to move faster. And I keep wondering why I keep falling within the basics.

Breathing is a perfect example of this, no matter how much writing I have done within/about these profound points within me I still am having a difficult time just remaining here within breathe. Even though I see that this is primary point within this process, I still get drawn off into all sorts of tangents within my mind. That point of stability has yet to be establish within me and this is the reason why I cannot seem to stay on track when it comes to everything else.

So a cool point of support that I learned about within my dip course would be that it does not matter what I am doing or what is going on within me that I can always just stop the mind at any time, take back my directive ability and remember that I AM HERE.

So within this I can see how even within this post there is a tendency for me to go off on some tangent making the specific point lose it focus and try to move to fast looking…searching for the reason within ideas, instead of walking out the solutions within self forgiveness.

SO here I will go into some self forgiveness on the point of not sticking with the specifics
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold a tendency/habit within myself by constantly looking for the most profound point to write about believing that this is the way that I will find clarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to overlook the specific points that come up within my day as the points that actually require my attention, despite how the look to be of smaller importance to me in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that within each moment the point of clarity must be present and that in the end the bigger points are actually a accumulation of all of the other points in what has created the more of me experience where I look to generate myself as something more then life through these larger systems within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself then to overstep myself within my approach to my self forgiveness process in believing that the larger points and systems are actually more important to work through/on then the smaller ones, when in reality they are all simply points of separation within myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and utilize the smaller points within myself as a point of working within what I am able to see clearly and work with effectively.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how following the larger points often will not let me see the finer specifics and within this can become lost and frustrated within myself since I am not yet able to see clearly why I continue to fall.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and make my writing and what I take on bigger then where I currently stand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this to happen from within a self judgment of where I should be within my process in comparison with other beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to stand ahead of where I am because I do not like what I have accepted and allowed myself to be within the past and within this creating a experience of friction within me since I am not standing within acceptance of where I am now.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I stand ahead of myself I am not really even allowing myself to be here and one with the words that I am typing fully and within that basically am writing from a place of the mind first rather then awareness and realization through a process of walking each specific point as it comes.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down to the point where I can see clearly how it is that I a experiencing myself within each moment of breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself only to place the focus on the end point of not having systems anymore and thus make the topics of my application about the profound, when really what is something that I can work with is how I am creating and experiencing myself within each moment of separation and how I can take back those moments and build self trust through the application of the Desteni tools.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to walk through the points that come up at any given time and work with those points rather then working the other way around and trying to solve the effect points of how the world works current without even looking at how the cause of how I works specifically.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desiring myself to make this process something more then what it currently is within myself and continuously look for the biggest points to work with rather then finding the specific personal points that keep popping in the way of allowing my to remain stable here within breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and run when I am yet unable to walk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how this is actually a clear indication of why I continue to fall on the basic foundational points of remaining present within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my breathing is the perfect indication of where I am yet overstepping myself where I am making all sorts of statements and commitments that do not really reflect who I am within the moment in actuality of myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be OK with where I am within my process and in this place myself outside of where I am by projecting ideas and points that I believe to be more important then what I face within my personal world at the forefront of my attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how this point is almost unconscious where I do not even notice how I take the focus from being about something that I am doing within myself to something that is extrapolated to the external world when I am not entirely clear within myself how I function completely.

I forgive myself within this for accepting and allowing myself to believe the since I have not taken care of all the personal points within my mind that I am not able to make observations about the world that I live within and how it functions with some degree of clarity, but it stands to reason that I should be able to keep the focus of my process on myself at this stage to make sure that what I am doing is clear from ego and self interested intentions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilt for losing my focus within even a short post such as this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the main point within understanding where my process is real and where it is not real is within a point of self honesty where I am allowing myself to stand within trust of myself and who I am within each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must search out the answers to all of the problems that come up within myself and my life, instead of see this as point walk through the points that come up as they come up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that sometimes I may not see the initial point of what I am facing, but realize that this is OK, and I should not judge myself within that and it is the walking of my process that is really the important point to become perfect about where I can trust myself to stick to the commitments that I make and the responsibilities that I have set for myself within my world.

Self corrective statements

When and as I see myself holding myself within a pattern/habit of things thinking/believing that the way to find clarity within my process is to look for the most profound points to write about, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that this is actually a point of not working within what is in front of me and accepting that the things that are happening to me and what I am reacting to are actually the points that require my attention.

I commit myself to work with the points that come up within me in a real time manner where I learn to address the points that are right here as the main points that will allow me to find clarity within my day to day living.

When and as I see myself placing these points that I view as being more profound as the primary point of value within my world, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that those points are actually a result of the accumulation of the smaller points within my life and are actually a result of not standing with stability within breathe in my life as a series of moments.

So thus I commit myself to realize that all points of separation are actually that, points of separation and they are ALL actually the same in terms of having to be dealt with.

I commit myself to realize that the smaller points are actually a point of common sense and self honesty to work with since they are points that I can have direct ability to work with and see that I have immediate ability to change.

I commit myself to work within the principle of breathe where I can actually test out my application in real time by see that if I am existent within a structure of thought/feeling/emotion then I am not clear within that moment and that something within that exact moment is requiring my attention and application of the tools of self forgiveness and self correction.

I commit myself to then to work within those points in real time where if I see myself going into a pattern of thoughts about a particular point, I use my ability to first stop and then apply self forgiveness for that point.

I commit myself to realize the effectiveness of actually walking my application for myself out loud, and seeing that this is really the point of self honesty where I able to be most effective for and within myself.

When and as I see myself desiring to take on large systems within me from the point of wanting to rush ahead and deconstruct those larger systems, I stop myself and breathe, and within this realize that within that point of wanting to take on whole systems at once it does not make sense, since this will take time and within the point of working within a particular aspect each day I will simply not have the time available AND see that by attempting to take on these larger points I always tend to miss out on the finer details of the systems and then in actually do not completely remove the system.

I commit myself to slow down the process of which I take on my mind to a point of being able to see and apply forgiveness clearly within each consecutive point.

I commit myself to slow myself down when looking for a point to write about and within that stop the jumping to the most profound experience that I can see, and instead just look for the things that make the most sense and relevance to me in what I see came up throughout my day.

I commit myself to realize that within the smaller specific points lies the potential to make actual profound realizations for myself and that the point of focus within this blog is not to downplay profound realizations but to actually stop the seeking out of the profound topics/systems/experiences/points as a requirement for me to write about, and remove the projection of that requirement throughout my process of writing.
When and as I am continuing to make this about the end point/goal of my process and allow that to influence my choice of what I look for within my application, I stop myself and breathe and instead learn to trust myself by walking with the desteni tools as a point of realization of how they are able to be utilize on a moment to moment basis.

I commit myself to apply the desteni tools of self forgiveness and self corrective application in and as any point of separation comes up as a realization that this is the were the actual ability for me to stand up within myself lies.

I commit myself to walk the points that I do not necessarily see as being profound in the realization that these points are actually the point of accumulation of which the larger systems are generated from and within that realize that becoming directive within each points is actually more effective, as well as time efficient then looking for always the larger and more prominent/profound points within my process.

I commit myself to become more efficient within my application so I am not constantly looking for the the points that will make me feel like I accomplished the most, and within this I commit myself to understand and implement that the point of deconstruction of my mind is really not so much about finding the large points but really about working with the points that are coming up with consistency.

I commit myself to understand that working with larger points is something that can always be done and that it is not like I should not work with large points entirely but what is relevant to my daily living and about a point of self honesty where I can clearly see the requirement for taking on larger points within myself.

I commit myself to work out where I actually stand within my process and work from there instead of looking for the large points and jumping ahead of myself.

So when and as I see myself not allowing myself to word with simplicity I stop myself and breathe and take myself back to a application of myself where I am looking at the things that are really relevant to how I live daily.

I commit myself to discern the things that matter within my process of application, and follow the principles of equality and oneness within those choices of where I apply myself, realizing that often the solutions lay simply within specific words and ideas that I carry around on a surface level.

I commit myself to realize that each word that I use may have a specific charge that I give it within myself and that this is a cool area to start deconstructing my mind attachments and judgments.

When and as I see myself attempting to make my writing more then what I current understand I stop myself and breathe and bring myself back to a point of awareness of myself here in the physical reality and realize that this is where I can be sure that I am being self honest within remaining clear.

I commit myself to recognize where I actually stand within my process and to stop making myself try and be something more then where I really am.

When and as I see myself walking outside of my current time line as a response to where I see other beings are within there processes, I stop myself and breathe, seeing how this is simply a point of competition that is still existent within myself where I am just reaction to another within comparison of where they are.

I commit myself to remove completely the point of comparison with others walking process and fully come to the understanding that this is my process to walk, and that finding my time line within my own application of the tools and principles is about SELF honesty.

When and as I see myself looking to stand ahead of where I current can see that I am, writing about the large profound points that I can see in the distance, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that what is happening is that I am reacting to a point of self judgment towards what I have accepted and allowed within my past.

I commit myself to let go of the guilt that I hold onto about myself from the past, and instead realize that what really matters within this process is how I conduct and apply myself here now within each consecutive moment.

And within that point I commit myself to see how looking to remedy that with jumping ahead and making my process about finding the most profound things to write about is really just a projection from a reaction to my past failures and mistakes.

I commit myself to realize that by jumping ahead within my process as a point of reaction I am not even allowing myself to be completely here within the words that I am writing and within that I lose out on a opportunity to actually be here within my words.

I commit myself to see how this actually becomes a point of just writing from the mind which really amounts to very little changes and real self realization.

I commit myself to then work with the specific points in which I can clearly see the points from a perspective of knowing where I stand in relation to that point.

I commit myself to then take on the point within a starting point of awareness of myself and where the separation actually lies within the point so I am not just looking to write from a point of sounding profound.

I commit myself to use common sense within the application of my writing so I can see that if I am not clear within the starting point of why, what I choose to take on in writing that I can stop and flag point that topic/system for another time and revisit it without thinking that I am giving up on the larger picture.

When and as I see myself looking to run within my process by looking for the largest points to work with rather then finding the specific points that come up within my day, I stop myself and breathe, and within that recognize that in slowing myself down I am able to lay down the foundation for me to move faster.

I commit myself to see how the foundation of my process lies within the consistency of my application and not the size of the systems that I a willing to take on.

I commit myself to see that regardless how much I would like to be free from my mind that I must recognize that this is a process and every process has steps and stages to it.

I commit myself to see how working with my specifics during my day I am able to form self trust and self respect because I am willing to walk through my day with consistency and learn the integrity that is needed to actually free myself from my mind.

I commit myself to see and realize that this is the main reason why I continue to have this experience of not being able to stand for very long within breathe because I have not committed to the point of really taking on my thoughts in the moment, and still giving value within them instead.

I commit myself to stop allowing my thoughts take hold as points of curiosity within them and from there just get pulled into the wake of my thoughts into a thought stream.

And thus I commit myself to stop giving value to my thoughts, realizing that this will not be easy since I have been addicted to the mind for so long, but if I am to free myself from my ego then it is necessary to stop giving into the mind.

When and as I see myself still not allowing myself to become comfortable within breathing and notice myself just letting my mind go off on all sorts of tangents instead I stop myself and breathe, realizing that this is the primary point within which I stand, understanding that breathe is my point of stability within a lifetime of mind energy.

I commit myself to just breathe whenever I notice myself going into mind movements, even when I am sooo tempted to just follow the stream of thoughts, I stop, and remember that within breathe I am here, I am clear.

I commit myself to understand that within breathe I am able to walk myself out of the mind in such a way that makes sense and that this is where I can be sure of myself when I am choosing what is relevant for me to focus on within my process.

I commit myself to realize that when I make decisions from within breathe there is a clear difference to the movement of myself than from when I move myself from a point of mind friction where typically there is all sorts of energetic experiences and thoughts that go along within the decision/movement.

I commit myself see how when I make decisions from the mind on what to focus on/write about within my process I usually overstep where I actually stand within my process.

I commit myself to stop making commitments and statements that do not reflect where I actually stand within yet and instead just focus on the things that I can see really need my attention and are relevant within my process today at this stage.

I commit myself to be OK within where I currently stand and see how this simple point of self acceptance is a vital part of learning to walk within self trust.

I commit myself to stop believing that the ideas I have about “out there” are really more important then the small specific things that are happening to me, and within this downplaying my very beingness and making myself inferior to the points that happen “out there”.

So I commit myself to walk with myself so I do not anymore place my journey back to life in a inferior placement of the journey of earth and creation and instead understand that my journey is that journey in action.

When and as I see myself shifting the focus from my internal self and extrapolating it to the external world, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that I have not been directing myself within awareness of myself and bring myself back to alignment with breathe making sure I am clear before proceeding.

I commit myself to realize and keep myself awareness on on my breathe and realize that I have always tricked myself within the points with subtlety, where I do not even notice when I go of the rails at times.

I commit myself to bring myself back to breathe whenever I find myself of track.

I commit myself to realize that the point within this process is not to deny or control what to write about and that making observations about the world that I/we live in is cool when approached with clarity, but also to understand that within my personal process I should be mostly keeping the points in relation to what I am experiencing within me at this early stage.

And thus I commit myself to continuously keep bringing myself back here where I can stand within breathe and learn to trust that breathe as the life giving force within me and stop the idea that the mind is that force.

When and as I see myself continuing to lose focus and I go into a point of guilt about it, I stop myself and breathe and within that fully understand that this is how it is going to be until I actually stand up within me and walk through everything so, within that realization I commit myself to stop feeling the point of guilt as a way to just slow myself down and place a wall in front of myself.

I commit myself to just walk through the points as I see them as they come up and forget about trying to solve all the mysteries of my life all the time, and realize that that is a crazy and impossible task that I set for myself in which I will always end up falling and failing and cycling around within a guilt point.

So thus I commit myself to the small points even though I do not in my mind want to see the importance of them or take them seriously, and realize that walking in stability and clarity is the key to this process.

I commit myself to see the difference between what is real and what is mind is always within a point of self honesty where I am walking within principle within myself, just breathe within the moment, trusting myself and knowing where I am within each breathe.

And so I commit myself to just be fine with the speed and pace of the realizations that come through and while pushing through the resistances within applying myself within process to always realize that any realization will come up naturally and anything that I force is actually only a mind projection of the what I believe/want the truth to be within my mind.

I commit myself to this process of mind deconstruction and trust myself in walking it for me, realizing that within the specific points that relate to myself within my process and taking directive ability within that I am the one who begins to stand and walk myself back from being a slave to my mind to a actual real being who takes value in life as equal and one with myself.

262. The small things. Sf+Sc.

SO, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up the real directive ability that I have within myself to the habits and distractions that I choose to place in and as the central focus of my day and the way that I experience myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chase energetic experience within the the simple points of maintaining my living space.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use those simple points as well as other points of distraction like watching TV, playing games, and watching documentaries to be at the forefront of what I choose to do first within my daily life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing those points to be of greater interest to me, rather than walking through the commitments that I have made with myself in walking process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the struggle that I create within my day by placing the things that can wait or postponed with no ill effect on my ability to walk process in/as a greater value to me because the are about stimulating me energetically. SO, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up the real directive ability that I have within myself to the habits and distractions that I choose to place in and as the central focus of my day and the way that I experience myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chase energetic experience within the the simple points of maintaining my living space.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use those simple points as well as other points of distraction like watching TV, playing games, and watching documentaries to be at the forefront of what I choose to do first within my daily life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing those points to be of greater interest to me, rather than walking through the commitments that I have made with myself in walking process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the struggle that I create within my day by placing the things that can wait or postponed with no ill effect on my ability to walk process in/as a greater value to me because the are about stimulating me energetically.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still give into the experience of getting energetic experiences within the mind, and making that the most important thing to do first.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be aware of what I am doing and within this do not investigate how I am able to become more effective with my time and with my choices in what I do each day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to postpone the things that are required for me to do and thus create a experience of always being behind and never being satisfied.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never see the point where I am covering up my ability to become more effective since I am judging and taking value within my experience of me based on the energetic feelings that I gain from something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the guilt that I experience within myself when I do not follow through with my commitments to be the factor for which I do not actually choose to address the point of really walking with integrity throughout my day.

And within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only based my days on the set of conditions within a point of feeling happy or not bored.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss out on the ability for me to be the most effective being that I possible can be because I have been choosing to continue looking for the easiest possible way to make it through the day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that within this point that I am actually making things harder for myself by abusing my body with less sleep and subjecting it to things like smoking.

Within these points I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my process to be about walking this as a point of self honesty where I actually am standing as a real expression of who I am, what my potential is that I can see within myself to be possible and how I would get there.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into the fear that I will have to deny myself the things that I enjoy to walk this process, where it really only comes down to a point of self honesty where I can actually look at myself in the mirror and
say “yes, you accomplished all you set out to do today.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be completely satisfied with the process that I have started to the point where I will continue to seek out things on top of and beside my process that are more important for me to be doing or pursuing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my habitual patterns to interfere with my ability to form a supportive sleeping routine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to downplay the importance of sleep and believing that I can function the same on 4 hours as I can on 6 or 8, and in fact have not ever really figured out what is a proper amount of sleep that I would need personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this point to become a point of self abuse within my life where I am not allowing myself to form effective behavior by denying myself adequate time for my physical body to rest.

When and as I see myself giving up my directive ability to habits and distractions, and placing these as the most important point within my day, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that in doing so I am in fact creating this experience of giving those habits and distractions the central focus of my world.

I commit myself to stop taking up the belief that my habits have more power over me then I have within my ability to direct me.

I commit myself to realize that being here, standing clear within myself is really the only true point, and if I am having all sorts of experiences within my day about what I should or should not be doing then I realize that this is occurring within the mind.

I commit myself to realize that the point of walking myself through process is really about forming a point of self trust.

When and as I see myself chasing after energetic experiences within my daily responsibilities by postponing my commitments to walk process by placing my daily living duties as a form of escape from walking process of writing.

I commit myself to form self trust within my process by coming to a common sense understanding of what is actually the priorities within the tasks that I choose to do.

I commit myself to see how placing my daily tasks of maintaining my living as a excuse to not walk my process within writing, and within this understand that I need to make time for both aspects of my life where I do not neglect any points of my existence.

I commit myself to see that placing one point above and before another is a point of self denial within how I choose to spend my time and that within that lies a point of self abuse.

I commit myself then to work on both aspects of my living and my process with common sense where I allow myself the time to walk through both points with equal importance and stop using basic daily tasks as the reason why I do not have time for process.

I commit myself to realize that things like watching TV, playing games, watching documentaries are actually things that I can utilize to supplement my life and that placing them first within my life will invariably cause me to neglect myself within walking process.

I commit myself to realize that I place these things as a greater interest to me because I do not actually have to actually face myself directly and I can push back my process of self realization.

When and as I see myself struggling with these points where I look over the fact that many of the things that I am choosing to do actually are not required to be done first and foremost and that within a point of self honesty they are in fact not required to be done when I think that they need to be done and will actually have no ill effects on my experiences of myself in each moment.

And so I commit myself to become self honest about what is really important to be done where I realize what will actually interfere with my ability to walk with myself through process.

I commit myself then to realize what the things that are placed as the priority within my daily living that are only for creating a energetic experience within myself.

I commit myself then to come with a concrete understanding of what will actually support me in being here physically, and support me as my physical human body.

When and as I see myself living within a state of unawareness of what my actual priorities are and could be within a supportive platform of behavior I stop myself and breathe, and within that moment reassess what is really going to be the most effective choice for me to take within that moment.

I commit myself to practice self awareness of what will actually lead me to a decision that is best for myself in the realization of what will lead me to a situation where I will be most effective in creating myself as a example of what is best for all.

I commit myself to realize that the decisions that I come to should be based within a understanding of the things that are required for me to support myself and my partnership physically first.

When and as I see the decisions that I make to be things that are not required at that moment and within that create a experience within myself of always falling behind, I stop myself and breathe, and within that realize that that experience is actually happening within my mind only and from there influencing me energetically to try and make up for the energetic feelings of being behind by creating a more for me experience of positivity to compensate.

I commit myself to realize that this only leads to more procrastination and postponement of the things that I really would need to do to become self supportive.

I commit myself to see how this scenario actually constantly leads me in circles/cycles of which there is no end until I choose to break those circles/cycles and walk a path where I choose to act with integrity of the things that I realize are going to be actually supportive for me.

When and as I see myself only judging my view of myself, and taking value within myself by the energetic experiences that I have, I stop myself and breathe, and understand that this is actually not real as it is only showing me who I am within a starting point of energy and is not actually a point of physically walking myself within self trust and integrity.

When and as I see this to become a point of guilt within myself where I start to judge myself against these points of postponement I stop myself and breathe, realizing that within this I am not really finding any real solutions but I am only creating a point of friction and resistance within myself by laying a point of guilt over the points that require actually action.

I commit myself to stop the guilt experience within me and realize that what I am actually doing is creating a experience of irritation and anger towards my mistakes, and so not really acting on any real solutions.

I commit myself to then see and implement real solutions by utilizing my own ability to act and walk myself through the point of guilt and anger towards myself, facing the points and walking through the solutions as a walking myself through the things that I can do physically to deal with the points that I desire to just avoid.

When and as I see myself only judging my day from a point of being/making myself happy, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that this only a point of limitation within myself where I do not actually allow myself to walk through points that I would not normally support myself within and that would actually be a point of self support.

I commit myself to support me within the choices that I make in seeing past only what makes me happy and what makes me preoccupied within my mind and instead walk through the things that I would not normally find enjoyable.

I commit myself to form a new standard within myself about what is a successful day for me where I change the relationship from a point of limitation in only doing things that make me happy to things that are of self support within my process and within a point of supporting myself physically here within breathe and physical expression.

When and as I see myself only looking for the easiest possible route/choice, I stop myself and breathe and within this realize that this is causing me to miss out on sticking to a personal experience of myself as my actual true expression.

I commit myself to see, understand, and implement that the path that is not always enjoyable may be a path that may initially not be one that I would choose to walk when standing within a starting point of energy.

When and as I see myself subjecting to self abuse as/within my physical human body with things like smoking and skateboarding, I stop myself and breathe and within this realize that I am actually making these things harder to deal with since I a reenforcing my self definition within them.

So I commit myself to stop the physical abuse to myself and my body through the choices that I am using as a excuse not to walk myself through process with a point of integrity, and commit myself to realize that I need to stop the self definitions of certain things to change the things that I do from a point of dependence/definition to a actual life expression of myself.

I commit myself to walk myself through to a point of actual self expression by realizing what is really important within each day and consequentially each moment of breathe, showing myself within self honesty how I will navigate my mind to realize myself as my true potential here.

When and as I see myself fearing the idea that I might have to give up the things that I enjoy to walk my process, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that this is not a process of denial, and that what really matters is to become self honest about what my priorities should be within my day.

I commit myself to stop fearing losing out on the things that I enjoy doing, and instead form a self honest relationship with myself where I am able to fit in all of my commitments that I have made with myself and then allowing myself to really participate within the things I enjoy from a perspective of being free from guilt.

I commit myself to see that I am able to enjoy myself within the process of walking myself free from the mind and that taking the time now to walk myself out of the mind within a self honest stance of myself will actually allow me to participate in the things that I enjoy with a more expansive ability to create.

I commit myself to then realize that doing something as a point of generating a feeling or emotion is actually a limited version of doing that thing and really have a better understanding of myself within my ability to enjoy the things that I choose to participate within.

When and as I see myself not completely satisfied within this process that I have started I stop myself and breathe and remember what I am actually doing and why I started this process to begin with, which is a realization of the validity of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to realize the even though I have not fully stopped myself within the mind it does not mean that I cannot stand within a principle.

I commit myself to see how not being satisfied within this process would indicate that I am actually still looking for some reason to remain within the mind.

I commit myself to see how this manifest within my physical reality as the postponement of the commitments that I make with myself and instead place in all sorts of distractions and points of stimulation for myself to divert myself from what is really going on within me.

So I commit myself learn and implement the realization that satisfaction within myself will actually come from a point of walking within a principle of integrity where I am able to stand within equality and oneness with life in each moment, and that this will take time and effort.

I commit myself to stop the feeling of not being satisfied within this journey simply because it is not about stimulation of myself energetically, and within that realizing the illusion the energy actually presents.

When and as I see myself allowing these points of stimulation to interfere with he formation of supportive habits, like sleeping effectively, I stop and breathe, and from there work towards a solution where I remember within myself where I am and what I am really doing, asking myself if the things that I am doing are really going to support me within a point of working with what time is available to me each day.

I commit myself to see that no matter what comes up and how much I see myself being drawn to a point of stimulation to stop myself and apply common sense and see what will actually be the point of self support for me.

When and as I see myself not allowing myself to really get to know my own physical human body on the level of awareness of what is a adequate amount of time that I should be sleeping, I stop and breathe, and from there realize that this is a primary point of self respect that I should be able to work with in my self.

I commit myself to stop imposing my minds will on my body where I force myself to stay up late because I have given into experiences of generating energy, and within this trying to avoid a feeling of guilt within myself.

I commit myself to see that in that point, the imposition of my minds will on the physical to avoid guilt is not self expression, but rather a reaction.

I commit myself to stop imposing my physical body to endure the abuse that this imposition of my mind places on myself where it inhibits my ability to function effectively during my day.

I commit myself to see how a normal pattern of sleep will allow me to become much more effective within walking my process if I can work with all these points effectively and find the point of self directive ability within each moment in which I choose to stand as life or as ego.

I commit myself to realize that self trust is at the heart of all of this and that any time that I am not standing within self trust I will know it, and know the solution is always going to be self honesty about what it is that I am walking, or not walking.

261. The small things.

I have noticed this tendency within myself to make things so much bigger then they have to be, within my ability to write and direct me I notice that there is this inherent belief that I must find the big points and work on those first, the profound points. But I am seeing that within this I have this overwhelming experience where I at times just end up getting lost, feeling like I am repeating myself many times, missing the real points within it…etc. I am not clear, and within all this I am spending a lot of time writing about certain things because to me it seems like they are good things to write about but really what I noticed is that this process is about walking within a set of principles within my daily life. That should be the main focus within my process of myself, and basically all points about how the world functions will always lead back to those principles of equality and oneness anyways, THAT is how the world will change to one best for all, when we all walk within principle for ourselves. It does not matter how profound “I” am lol. In actuality what is really going on is I am just looking for some stimulation within my writing, some excitement, which is kinda bonkers and backwards since that is not what this process is about.

So something to remember here within my daily experience is to always keep the basics at the forefront, I will always be able to get around to the big picture at any time, so not to rush into things that will really only tempt me to antagonize myself. I can just relax and walk through my day with ease instead of just feelings of needing to write something “AMAZING”. Through this I will be able to better find my timeline within where I am at. I will not go off on tangents about things that I see as important to write about. And as my buddy has mentioned, its not like my mind is going anywhere, until I face it.

So some things that I can see have been working for me are slowing down my experience of myself within any given time, like when I notice that things are getting hectic I am always able to slow myself down and just breathe and pay attention to that. Stopping my participation within things in my life that only exist as a point of stimulation. Smoking for example has been a tough one to let go of and while I have done some writing on this point previously, I can see that sometimes I just have to walk through these points and stop the behavior and then I can look at what is holding me back from changing from a different perspective. I can see that sometimes it is just that initial push to stop sometime that will be the most difficult part as with my weed addiction in my mind I was convinced that I could not stop, this just who I was and who I would remain. But once a decision to stop was made then it was like OK…what was that all about, because this is not nearly as bad as I was making it out to be within my head. As my buddy has told me as well. Actions will always follow the decision. So it is obviously about a point of just trusting self and walking the point through to completion.

Something that I have noticed the is not effective is where I allow myself to make something a particular center of my attention and focus. Again a example is within my addiction to smoking where within stopping this point I have allowed myself to be convinced that I cannot handle it and cannot stop totally, I make/made it the central focus of my day where I actually place that as a point where I look forward to and place as the times during my day where I am most “stable” which is really bizarre and backwards because it is showing that is actually the least stable because I have yet been unable to stand firm within every moment, and continuing to make smoking the most important “me time” proves that.

So within this I am able to see that within these small points where I give up my self directive ability to stand stable, I am giving up on my entire process, where I say to myself OK you are able to take this small point of separation as a REWARD for doing something else, or OK I will stand, but only after I go for this smoke.

Most of the time this has not worked out very effectively wherein the point of smoking and inhaling the smoke especially creates this tiredness and fuzziness within myself where I make it harder to focus on the things that I need to do. This is clearly evident where I have made it a point until very recently to stay up very late so I can smoke, pushing back my writing until late into the night so I can use smoking as a point of stability within writing without bothering my partner, rather then committing myself to getting writing done earlier in the day. This has left me tired in the morning and waking up just on time to go for work where I am constantly rushing out the door. So it is plain to see that this point of putting my energetic habits and addictions as the central focus of my days really has a effect on my ability to direct myself effectively. This is not only limited to the smoking point though it goes for everything where I continue to procrastinate on directing myself in carrying out my self commitments and responsibilities that I have made for/with myself. Watching TV or playing games are other examples even things like cutting my fingernails or cleaning up the house while are perfectly reasonable things to do get used as a excuse to distract and push back other things like writing my blog, doing my dip assignments or reading other blogs and listening to interviews podcasts. Those things that are like daily things that I am responsible for doing for the maintenance of a normal life are used as a weapon against myself in working on the journey that I have undertaken to bring myself back to life from this being who is free from living only within energy. Even things that would normally be beneficial to me like watching documentaries (on war for instance) where I would be able to educate myself have become simply something to fill in an waste time that I KNOW that could be used for walking my process with effectiveness.

Something that I see as a solution to all of this is observing myself within the simple things that I do each day and REALLY look at why I am doing something, where I can be self honest about something like washing the dishes. Am I doing this because I really need to do the dishes now or am I doing it because I see that I am avoiding doing my assignment, and within that looking to make myself FEEL good about doing the dishes to mask the fact that I am avoiding something that I have committed myself to walk.

So within this the simple point is to become self honest within everything that I choose to do within my day and sloooow myself down when I see myself wanting to run off and do something to occupy my time rather then remaining self honest and directive within my point of walking process.

I see how this point is very subtle and has this point of self denial that runs in tandem with with the point of pushing myself to work on myself. I know that there are points within my personal activities that I would like to explore, and some things that I can choose to do that are just for fun, but the point remains to become more and more self honest with the things that I do so I can reach a point of being completely satisfied with what I am able to accomplish during each day that I have been gifted here. Like the staying up late thing for example, I know within myself that I am more effective in the mornings, I am a morning person in actuality, but I have been forcing myself to be a night person through this point of not wanting to give up my habit of smoking at night. I realize that if I just stop that habit, and give myself more time to sleep I can wake up much earlier and instead of rushing around to get out the door I am able to give myself time, start my blog in the morning, eat a breakfast before 10-12 and really support my physical body by being well rested, rather then constantly being tired and FORCING myself to do all the commitments I have undertaken. Changing the way that I experience myself within my process from one of being a chore and struggle to one where I am prepared, and dedicated to those commitments.

OK I’ll continue with self forgiveness and self corrective statements tomorrow.

260. War media SC.

When and as I see myself living within a perspective of the word of nobility to mean sacrificing oneself in combat, I stop myself and breathe, really considering the what that word means within myself and how I can apply it in a way that is best for all.

I commit myself to change my conceptualization of the word nobility and from self sacrifice in combat, to walking with self trust, and finding the courage within oneself to question the dominant culture and it doctrines.

When and as I see myself giving up emotions of sympathy for those that choose to go to war because they are participating in self sacrifice, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that this feeling is actually being generated within my mind through a series of acceptances and allowances about war, sacrifice, and patriotism.

I commit myself to stop giving special significance within myself in and towards those that choose to go to participate in warfare.

I commit myself to realize that the emotional ties I have held in and towards those that go to war or have lost in a war are actually there from a series programs to do with public relations on what a man should find emotions within.

I commit myself to realize that these reactions are while brought up within society as being ethical and right that I ultimately have to make the choice of what I would like to place my attention and focus within, and what I will accept and allow to be a definition of self.

When and as I see myself jumping from one end of the spectrum where initially I notice the point of feeling bad for the soldiers around the world within all the fighting that has taken place, and then jump to a place of looking at the soldiers as stupid and ignorant, I stop myself and breathe, and stop the separation firstly and second realize that within me I am just keeping up a friction experience within myself by reacting to myself reacting, and just allowing myself to be wishy washy with my view and feelings on the matter.

I commit myself to stop the point of view within this system that states the I must have some kind of emotional stance on these matters rather then simply see the bigger picture and what is really best for all and standing up for that at all times and within all of the choices that I make.

I commit myself to take on sympathy for the soldiers as a point of recognizing that this sympathy is really a point of the struggles that those in war go through is activating and triggering the systems that are running within me.

I commit myself to then stop the reaction to this point of sympathy within myself where I see myself reacting within sympathy and all of a sudden I snap to the opposite side of the polarity and judge and ridicule those participating in warfare as stupid and ignorant for joining.

I commit myself to realize that the point of people signing up for the military is not always because someone is “naturally” violent. But rather is the result of the system that we inhabit and the movement of that system down through the generational lines.

So I commit myself to see that my own feelings about going/participating war are a result of my environment and the acceptance and allowance of myself to define me by this environment in which I was raised.

So I commit myself to stop the judgments that I have toward warfare and those that participate within, and instead simply recognize that warfare is something that is not beneficial or necessary, and as a first step is something that I can change my relationship to within myself by actively changing me from a point of mind/ego existence to one that stand and live every moment within and as equality and oneness.

So when and as I see myself seeing my life being defined within the polarity scale of good vs evil within how I perceive life to be I stop myself and breathe, realizing that when I perceive the world as being existent within this dichotomy it is actually a result of the internal belief and self definition of humanity within the idea that it is good vs evil and relating comparisons. (love vs hate, etc)

I commit myself to stop buying into the idea that there is this good vs evil dichotomy within myself first and foremost and realizing that within my own world I am responsible for my own set of belief systems and ideas about how the world functions.

I commit myself within and as a new way of seeing and conducting myself within the principles of equality and oneness, and realizing that this is the actuality of reality, where we are all one and existing as the physical existence within equal value.

I commit myself to realize that warfare is the external representation/consequences to the internals struggles that we all face within our lives where we still access our singular points of perception from a duality view within the mind in separation from life.

Within this I commit myself to see how becoming enamored with the idea that war represents as good vs evil I realize that within myself I still am looking to always be on the side of good instead of view all life as one and equal I still accept and allow the struggle to exist.

I commit myself to let go of this struggle and give value and attention to creating myself simply as breathe here in each moment.
When and as I see myself instead giving into emotional reactions and definition to the idea that within this good and evil system that sacrificing ones life is something noble and is to be celebrated, I stop myself and breathe, and understand that this type of experience within the world is totally preventable, and unnecessary.

And thus I commit myself in stopping the idea that sacrifice of ones life is noble in any way, and instead commit my life to sacrificing my mind so as to bring about the actual expression of life instead of the sacrificial abuse of life.

I commit myself to make this personal sacrifice of giving up my personal points of separation the foundational point of focus within my life where that is what will allow me to walk through any challenge that the system can place in my path in a stable way.

When and as I see myself reacting automatically to the point of giving focus and self definition within the observation of a “brotherhood” within those that go into combat together, I stop myself and breathe, and understand that this is actually happening within a set of preprogrammed systems that have been accepted and allowed into my self view/definition of myself since I was very young.

I commit myself to recognize the autonomy of the feelings and emotions that are existent within the reactions that come up when I view war material and realize that this is in actuality programming that has taken place through-out my life and that I am actually the one that is responsible for allowing those reactions to exist within me.

From there I commit myself to stop the reactions that come up when viewing war media and within this take practical action of breathing through the reactions to see that these points of nobility and honor within warfare are actually a structure of beliefs that have been within the human race for most of our existence and that it will take awareness to recognize the separation within those reactions.

I commit myself to a change within my personal experience of how I view war material and understand that I do not have to have any reactions or feelings towards the material, and instead can take a practical stance on the matter where I can walk a path that will recognize the importance of stopping the mind and creating a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to see that war is not something that needs to happen to have stability within society, and that the brotherhood idea within combat troops is not something that is special, important, or necessary to a create something valuable within humanity.

I commit myself to see that violence really is something that does not have to define who we are as people and how we choose to interact and exchange with each other.

I commit myself to stop the belief that the bond that is formed through shared violence is something that is somehow greater in value to life, and see that equality and oneness cannot be defined within a limitation condition like brothers in arms experiences since equality and oneness includes all life within the principles of the reality of the physical.

When and as I see myself looking to watch particular media within and as a starting point which is not clear and I obviously have ulterior motives for participating in a desire to be stimulated by war media, I stop myself and breathe, and first stop viewing the material and realign myself within a understanding of WHY I am looking to view war or violent material and within this I commit myself to understand the difference of learning about a particular subject versus just looking for entertainment within the material.

I commit myself to realize that seeking out this material is really only about a self interest point where I am looking to be stimulated by the material in a particular way in which I have accepted and allowed myself to program me from past experiences that I have taken into myself over the years.

I commit myself to stop participating within the desire for these emotional reactions.

When and as I see myself becoming disappointed at the legitimacy of some type of war media, I stop myself and breathe, and within this realize that this disappoint is only another layer of self deception, by believing that the feelings that I experience in relation to warfare media is only a reaction to the types of behaviors that I have been programmed within society.

I commit myself to see how I have built a belief that the feelings that I am seeking out within finding legitimate warfare media is real.

I commit myself to realize that what is really happening in seeking out this material is that I am looking for a experience rather than a solution.

I commit myself to realize the solution is to stop the mind and stop the relationships that I carry around in relation to violence and war that I have accepted and allowed to become a self definition over time.

I commit myself to stop the friction that is cause when trying to fight against those conditions. Where looking at war material in a commonsense perspective there is not really anything wrong with watching documentaries about war or violence, but the point of looking for a experience within the documentary that I can self identify with through emotions and ideas is a point self dishonesty where I am looking to get mad/sad.

When and as I see myself living within this split personality I stop myself and breathe, and bring myself back here remembering that living within breathe is the only point that I need to be aware of to make sure that I am clear.

I commit myself to realize that this belief that I hold about bonds of combat and the value within such a bond is actually not real but is really only taking place within my mind as a projection onto/over reality.

I commit myself to actually realize that the idea that a bond born in combat is somehow greater in value then the oneness and equality of all life.

I commit myself within walking my journey to stop fighting within myself for the ability to realization myself here as life, and stop desiring and believing that life is something more then equality. And not realizing that most of the time life is something that is simply about being here, present within the moment of breathe and nothing more. No embellishments or projections to lay over what is here.

So I commit myself to bring myself back here every-time I notice myself drifting off into a place only ruled and driven within illiciting emotions and feelings.

I commit myself to the effort that is require to walk myself free from my mind and realize that this will take more time and that I should not and cannot shy away from the responsibility if I would actually like to create myself as a real being with a real voice.

I commit myself to see that many forms of war media hold a bias to them within the polarity scale so in some cases there is a very stark line of one group of people who are “good” and others who are “evil”.

I commit myself to see that within the acceptance of this duality within myself I am losing sight of the greater consequences of war itself where only a select few benefit from the act of warfare while the majority the actual people are left dead or can develop psychological problems.

I commit myself to simply realize that warfare does not benefit anyone very much except those that have a financial investment within it in some case. And that the ideals of fighting for your country are just the sugar that is feed to us as nations to take the proverbial medicine that will place us up in arms, when in reality wars are generally fought over land and resources.

I commit myself to realize that wars are a mechanism to place one country’s or group of peoples ideals/culture onto another as a imposition. And within this demonizing the native culture in whatever way possible.

I commit myself to see that the a main point within warfare is the ensured luxury of one culture at the expense and exploitation of another cultures land, people, and resources.

When and as I see myself associated some kind of glamor to the idea of being a soldier I stop myself and breathe and within this I realize that the act of becoming a soldier and going into combat is something that is describe as just another addiction to energy, yet the high of that addiction is greater then anything found in the regular society.

I commit myself to see the addictive nature of combat where the adrenaline of facing death becomes exactly like the high from a powerful drug.

I commit myself to see how within the culture that we live and that we send troops to go and defend this addiction to energy is precisely the reason that we go to war, where all of these little things that we value so much of give so much of our attention to are actually addictions, and that war is about maintaining that ability to continue being addicted.

I commit myself to educate people about the reality of warfare wherever I can in self honesty, and within this understanding that much of the populace of the country that I live in, may have the same beliefs about the nobility of war to the same or greater extent that I have had and that they could benefit if I am able to share a different perspectives.

Within this when and as I see myself comparing myself to other people in society as being somehow more caring where I view the culture as hating war but being apathetic towards the idea of giving up consumerist lifestyles, and within that I start to feel sorry for the soldiers because I consider the culture to be worthless and blind to the reality of the global situation, I stop myself and breathe, and while recognizing the much of the people in this world may not have put my focus outside of their own singular bubble I am still responsible for how I conduct myself and in the principles that I choose to live by/within.

I commit myself to firstly understand the system in detail to first place myself in a place of seeing how the movements of money functions for real and within that follow and debunk the illusions within society that utilize the point of scarcity to force us into wars under the guise of other justifications, like security and religious reasons.

So I commit myself to clear myself of all the erroneous beliefs about warfare and actually see it for what it is which is to maintain one cultures dominance over another to keep up the machine of capitalism, or any other dominant structure for that matter.

I commit myself to stand firm and stable within myself when faced with this point of apathy within my life and within society at large.

I commit myself to see that the I am buying into this even though I do not believe that I am apathetic, and realizing that this is plain to see within my judgment of others as being apathetic and within the participation of my own mind.

I commit myself to stop the energy games that I play with myself where I am always looking outwards for the solution instead of fully committing within myself to stop my mind, and seeing that this is the only real solution to the way that I move and stand within my world.

When and as I see myself building up the excitement within myself in relation to war, and war material, I stop breathe and realize that I am just giving into the addiction of energy where I say that through my participation with that energy that war and violence are OK an are in fact enjoyable things within society what it is obvious that it is not.

I commit myself to stop allowing violence and ware to be a self definition within my world where I allow the excitement to build up within me what I am watching ware material and instead bring myself back to break and remember why I am walking this path and what I am really here to do which is to equalize myself with life so as to effectively bring about a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to realize that how I got here was through the choices that I have made within my world my upbringing and what I have allowed my focus to be on.

I commit myself to realign my focus to one where I can see that will allow me to stand as a example in every moment as one as equal as life.

I commit myself to stop the self definition of myself within violence by using the tools of self forgiveness, self correction, and practical application, continuously until I am free from my mind where I am able to stand clear in each moment, free from the limitations of thought/feeling/emotion and stand HERE in awareness of myself as the physical oneness.

When and as I still see myself as a product of my culture where I believe that war is something that is noble/cool/exciting I stop myself and breathe, and remember that this is a indoctrination of myself within society, and I am actually in that moment allowing myself to be a program and not a actual expression of life.

I commit myself to realize myself as a actual expression of life, and stop the cultural indoctrination that still comes up from time to time.

I commit when I feel compelled into a particular experience whether it is supporting the troops, or cheering for a particular hockey team to start questioning where these points of self definitions are actually coming from, and questioning if these are really me in any way, or just ghosts of my past manifesting into my current experience of myself.

I commit myself to from there see that the actual common sense is that most of the situations I face at this stage will be of mind/ego, and that within equality and oneness there is no need for energetic polarity experiences within myself or others, we can exists in total cooperation and stop the separation that we currently experience between one another and physical reality.

I commit myself to the understanding that I am within a state of cultural conditioning I am actually in full responsibility for the wars currently happening around the world since I am buying into a system that does not stand as a best for all solution. And within this that support for the current cultural mentality is one of separation and must be stop within myself to the point where I am a advocate in every moment of my life for equality and oneness, otherwise I am like only partially supporting life which does not make sense.

I commit myself to see how this will be a complex and difficult journey at times since I have programmed myself in such a way to the point where I do not even see or recognize all of the points of separation up front. But within this I commit myself to continue digging and pushing through the resistance that I may have about working through my mind and not judging myself for the extent of separation that I have allowed within my along the way.

I commit myself to reign in my consumerist lifestyle in whatever way I can see that makes sense.

I commit myself to within this utilize what is available to me to create a life that is best for all within my expression.

I commit myself to realize that the squandering of resources leads to and promotes the need for war in this world where within my individual use of material objects requires those things to be manufactured to get to me, and within this follows a path that is the platform of consumerism.

I commit myself to then see what things that are useful within my life and those that are just for my own personal enjoyment and self interest in making my life better just for my own sake.

I commit myself to actually take appreciation for the luxury that is available to me living in a part of the world where I have the ability to live without a large amount of struggle.
When and as I see myself reacting in shame and guilt at the fact that I have so much available to me that other being in other parts of the world are denied access to, I stop myself and breathe and within that stop taking the luxuries that are available to me for granted.

I commit myself then to really take value within what I am able to access and make this a point of using the resources available to me to leverage my directive ability to make sure I am using them for a best for all outcome.

Within this I commit myself to see that most of the “problems” that I am facing are generated within my mind in a fear of not having enough where I see others within my community that have more access and money then I do, and within this allow the generated of fear and jealousy as a reaction to this.

I commit myself to then take advantage of the access to solutions to make sure that I am walking a path where I reinvent myself as a fully committed being is seeing the solution of equality and oneness provides in each moment.

I commit myself to take personal responsibility for what my true potential is and walk that path through each moment.

When and as I see myself stopping my process of investigation of how the system actually operates I stop myself and breathe, and within that keep pushing myself to become more effective until I am totally clear on where I stand in relation to the system.

I commit myself to see that this starts with looking at all the small points of separation that come up within my day and within this do not fret or fear every point, but instead learn to take notice and flag-point these things so I am able to address them in a self directive manner.

When and as I see myself sliding back into a place where I want to believe in the nobility of sacrifice, I stop myself and breathe, and remind myself that what is is really important is becoming clear within myself and seriously taking on the mind so I can within myself stop the need for warfare.

I commit myself to stop the belief of nobility within personal sacrifice where I am placing a feeling above and beyond what is the actual potential of Human beings if we are able to stop the experiences of the mind.

I commit myself to push forward with the effort that is needed to actually stand up for life within myself, and stopping the desire to let things just slide and come to me.

I commit myself to stop the self interest in the belief that reality will come to me and realize that I am actually the one that is responsible for creating myself into someone that I am satisfied with and respect in my ability to do what I can to ensure a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to sort out the points within my life where I act only within a point of self interest and fulfilling the conditions that will lead to my singular happiness/contentedness and realize that this is actually a point of deceiving myself of the actuality of reality as oneness and equality.

When and see myself placing bravery as a point that is attributed within me as something that only those that self sacrifice within combat and warfare are capable of, I stop myself and breathe, and in this realize that the real bravery is about stopping the mind and taking on all the points of self definition that still exist within separation with life.

I commit myself to take on the mind as the real point of bravery, and see that this is the only real permanent solution that with last.

I commit myself to realize that the type of bravery that is displayed within those going to war are out of a placement of desperation for purpose.

I commit myself to realize that the actual purpose of bravery entails facing my own points of evil in standing within apathy of how the world exists today.

I commit myself to the realignment of myself back into oneness and equality with life, and within that realize that the failure to do so and to ignore my true potential to act within my path is the actual form of real evil.

I commit myself to realize that how I view those in combat as brave is actually a reaction to the lack of bravery within myself to take on my own demons with a point of commitment and integrity of self application.

259. War media SF.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the true sense of the word of nobility where one stands within oneself as a example and self realization of equality and oneness, and not a point of nobility being a point of supporting the current system without consideration of if that system is in fact something that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with sympathy for those that have given there lives to fight and die for a system that is best for all.

Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then react to the reaction in feeling that those that gave up there lives was meaningless and judge those that fight as being stupid and ignorant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply not realize that war is a symptom of the system that I currently inhabit.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand that I am personally responsible to the propagation of this system within the choices and actions that I choose to make.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the idea that good vs evil exist and is the actuality of the matter of why we go to war within ourselves, not seeing or realizing that this is really a outward representation of what is actually happening within the mind of myself and within the minds of each of us.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become enamored with the idea of war.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold the idea that self sacrifice is a point of nobility.

I forgive myself to not accept and allow myself to realize that the act of brotherhood that is generate within those that go through combat is actually form within pre programmed conditions of competition that have been instilled within me from within the culture that I was born into.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the idea that war is inevitable and necessary, and within this that the brotherhood that is formed between those involved within warfare and combat is special, important, and acceptable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to this bonds where that value is seen within me as being something that is more than the reality of equality and oneness to life as all physical existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into watching these documentaries with a starting point that is not clear.

I forgive myself to accept and allow this bastardization of my personal values seek out and fulfill a interest in finding out about combat and warfare wherein I have been interested in seeking out material that is steeped in warfare and combat to stimulate those types of feelings within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become disappointed when I feel like the material is not “real” from the perspective of not a reflection of something legitimate, and not stopping myself to see that those feelings in themselves are actually not real, and as yet a refraction from the way that we human beings actually are conducting ourselves here on earth, and believing this to be normal, unavoidable, and the truth of the matter.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place a requirement in what I watch where initially the realizations that came up where within a reaction in which I noticed the points that I was looking for stimulation created a point of friction with the things that I want to experience.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the split personality that I have generated where I want to believe in the bond of combat, and want to see some kind of value within that bond like it is something that is real and justified.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight against the reality of myself in the realization that all is one and equal by believing and desiring the point where a bond of beings born within combat is greater then the bond of life shared by all existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this desire to hold sway over me and my ability to see the reality of equality and oneness in any way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that many forms of war documentation with stand within some kind of bias where one side is the “good”/”light, and one “bad”/”darkness”.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself the realization that both sides of any conflict are inherently blind to the message being said, where both sides will see the fault and general evil done by the other, and within this the entire point of what a war actually means is lost.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that war is simply a way for one culture to assert and impose it will and ideals onto another wherein the culture being attacked has not conceded to the idea and self definition of the dominance of the attacking culture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not to realize then that the main point of war is maintain the standard of living for a particular sect of humanity at the expense of another.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that war itself is not a point of nobility to those involved and that what can happen to those involve is actually closer to a dependency, a addition that can cause massive separation and psychological damage to the soldiers and civilians involved.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being a soldier is something that is glamorous and something to look up to, when the reality of the situation shows that veterans actually describe going into combat as a experience kin to drug addiction where it becomes a compulsion that they cannot escape from for the most part.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the pointlessness of the justification of warfare as it stands, where we simply do not look at the real reasons why war is promoted and perpetuated within society, which is to maintain the status quo, and keep the cogs of materialism and capitalism grinding away.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the average person does not know about or care about what we actually go to war for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare those that do not know or care with myself and within this experience a point of sorrow within myself in which I sympathize with the soldiers that I see in movies/documentaries where I see the pointless nature of their struggles for a populace that on the one had hate the idea of war, but on the other revels in the splendor of the spoils of war which is free market capitalism.

I forgive myself for secretly accepting and allowing myself to buy into this as well which is highlighted within me by the reluctance to stand up within myself and stop the mind, where I change myself from a being who is addicted to energy to one that stands firm within the principles of equality and oneness in every moment and every decision.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to through belief within this create and separate myself from the consequences of war, where beings will dies and others brainwashed and coerced to kill unscrupulously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into idea of glamor, nobility, and excitement that is generated from within warfare where I myself give the attention and psychological energy into and as those points within myself, therefore within me saying that these things are OK and enjoyable to experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing violence to be a self definition of which I live by.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to gain this self definition through the choices that I have made and where I have placed my attention and focus during my upbringing in the course of my life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize how indoctrinated I still was/am within this point of warfare, where I buy into the whole thing just based within and on a culture mandate, for one, war is noble/cool/exciting, but also buying to the systematic societal point of having to support capitalism.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see beyond my cultural conditioning, and realize that the common sense within the principles of equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within this not realize that within my cultural conditioning I am actually fully responsible for the wars themselves since I am using and living within a system that is upheld by war.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the wars that exist today are really a by-product of the consumerist lifestyle that I have lived for my whole life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in shame and anguish when I realize that fact.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the solutions that are available to me within standing up and taking personal responsibility for the choices and path of my own life wherein whatever way that I can I reinvent myself to a living expression of oneness and equality with life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to fully dive into the point of learning as much about how the system functions as yet so as to establish a clearer understanding within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself believing that I know enough about how the system works to get by and become effective when actually I can see that this is just a justification to not take more care to investigate myself and the system at large in specificity.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop all of the small points of separation yet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not seeing and taking seriously what is really important which is to create a world that is best for all and not stand within acceptance of violence and warfare because of some apparent experiences that are generated no matter how righteous the point of nobility within loss seems to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not place the effort that I see that I am able to in creating that world and instead just stand within a point of self interest where I only look to satisfy my own conditions for happiness/contentedness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the true essence of bravery which entails standing up to ones mind and all of things that I have build up within me as my fears and phobias, and not realizing that within this acceptance I am really giving up not only on myself but I am giving it in for the rest of humanity since if I am able to see a solution and not grasp for it, not act on it then I am in fact a different but not less potent form of evil.