258. Opening up on war.

The other day I watched this new movie that came out called fury. I made some interesting observations about myself while watching this movie, to do with who I am within the face of war and the idea of war. I realized that who I have made myself within war as a few self definitions that are not supportive or conducive living in a self trusting manner.

For one I can see within myself that I have held this idea that war is noble in someway. Something that I have attributed with bravery and sacrifice. And has always played a some tunes of admiration within me for those that go to war to fight and die. This is one aspect of the self definitions that I have built up within myself about war.

I had read a review of the movie before watching it, that it was made in a attempt to show the some authentic aspects of war. Through-out the movie it did show many graphic clips of bodies and people dying, and really had the potential to play on ones heart strings. Yet something within the movie was that was reiterated was that there was no other way but war, they where there to do their job and kill Germans, that is the role of the soldier, to fight, not understand why. In the end my impression of the movie was just another action movie dressed up to instill the idea of good vs evil in mortal combat. Nothing really profound or extra ordinary about the movie.

From there I found myself disappointed with the movie. I had read quite awhile ago the men in general can become more enamored with the idea of war. This idea of standing up next to another and placing oneself in the line of death with the men to your left and right. (Obviously I am generalizing since now there are women in the military as well.)

I was disappointed with another Hollywood rendition and interested in seeing what real war looks like and how the people within it cope and deal with it. So I searched for what would be the most realistic account of warfare in the media.

Much of it has been embellished for the public eye. But I found out about a couple of documentaries about a deployment of soldiers that was made fairly recently. It is about a platoon that is stationed in the Korengal valley in Afghanistan. The first one is called Restrepo, and the second Koregal. A documentary filmmaker follows this platoon around the Korengal valley for the 15 month deployment and comes up with numerous shots of the soldiers in the outpost and interviews of the soldiers.

This was something that I could grasp. But what there was to grasp was not really something that I had preconceived to be the reality. The documentaries where heavily emphasizing the story of these soldiers, there traumas, difficulties, loss of friends. But it never really talked much at all about the other side of things. Never really talked about or showed the picture from the Afghan side. Again these soldiers had a job to do and there was no introspection beyond the capacity of that job. That was obviously left up to the watcher.

The films focused mainly on the soldiers point of view, the brotherhood that combat gave birth to the soldiers. I found this to be quite bias from a perspective that demonized the enemy. And I found myself constantly having the view that what these soldiers where saying about the Taliban could easily be flipped around, and if a documentary was made from the perspective of the opposing side the exact same things could be claimed about the Americans. And within this the Afghan people where held in the middle, played from both sides where each opposing army could come to them with promises of progress and peace at the destruction of the other.

Not to say that there was nothing to be realized within these documentaries. It illustrated clearly what war can do to a person. It illuminated the psychological stability that it could and did instill in those participating. It was clear to see that the danger has the potential to become like a drug to the soldiers, where even when coming home to spouse and family the cloak of combat stays with them where they would “go back in a instant”.

Also it brought into focus the pointlessness and futility of war, and society at large. It made me question what is was that we as humanity are actually fighting for. Since while these men are off fighting a war in a far off land, those at home go about there days within blissful ignorance, walking the dog, working a job, cooking dinner and watching a movie. Is war really about maintaining our freedom in the western world? It clarified what we in the west value as being important, we seem to think that that the society that we inhabit more or less represents the best that could be and we must maintain that path when really its about maintaining our right to continue existing as the mind, existing within our own points of singular self interest where we are free to choose how to best waste and squander our time here. How we walking around believing our way of life to actually be free, when in fact it requires constant war make sure that we have the ability to act out our lives with minimal consequences at a affordable price…. But its not free, it come with a consequence, people have to die, people have to be brainwashed and coerced to kill without remorse. We have to teach these soldiers that they are on this side of the line and those on the other side are monsters that are trying to destroy our way of life. Its pure separation from the brother/sisterhood of mankind and life itself, and instead places the emphasis on and in forming the familial ties of combat. And within this brotherhood of combat there I can see the glamour that takes over, we play upon the idea that war is noble and the cause outweighs the risk, within this idea breeds the addiction to excitement, the pure intensity of war becomes a adamant mental prison where in a few scenes I could see the similarities of the soldiers to the addicts within the shelter, no easy way out once exposed sitting there waiting for the next hit/strike. The difference being the subject of the addiction one being drugs and one violence.
I learned something about myself within watching these documentaries as well, where I noticed myself still subjected to the same mental methodology. I understood what they where saying, who would not feel the same in those conditions. All consideration of equality goes out the window when one becomes that target of a bullet. I was still a monster in my own right, where within this I noticed that through my direct participation in the system as it stands now, I am actually directly responsible for those soldiers being there. The system as it stands places these rules of combat across all platforms. Not just warfare. Warfare is merely the result of a system out of balance with itself where competition becomes and is the point of incentive for everyone rather them cooperation. I have through the point of not making every moment of my life a dedication to changing first myself and ultimately the system into a real expression of equality and oneness, I still am the cause for war.

So where in this lies the solution? What can I do? It makes sense that a understanding of the cause and effect of the choices that I make here within the “western” world actually lead to and perpetuate decisions made across the globe is paramount. Obviously most people are unaware of how this actually functions and I myself am only lightly versed in how the chain of events functions where for me to have something nice people around the globe have to be legally murdered, and enslaved. So here it is plain to see that once I have the ability to understand how one freedom here, requires a imposition there, actually functions, there is no valid excuse for me to continue on like it does not effect me or like I could not realize what is actually taking place. I am responsible. I cannot say I did not know and stand within a point of self interest only and move only when something directly interferes in my singular ability to experience life as how I desire. That is complete selfishness, separation, and a failure of compassion within me, all because on some level I fear I won’t get what I want.

And also to see, is a wake up call. I am able to access what is really important. I am able to see what are the points within my life where I still adhere to these small petty points of self interest and stop them.
I can stop those points and stand, it just requires a small amount of effort and a realization that all the resistance is really only happening within my mind. I am accepting and allowing myself to exist within fears of lack within my life and it is unnecessary, only requiring me to stand within principles. And for context, it goes to show how fearful I have to be to allow others to fight for my ability to just exist within this standard of living, I do not even do it for myself, someone actually has to physically go and face death for this system to uphold itself. So it is like the very least that I can do within myself to stop participating in the points of separation, and finally stand up for life where through my process of self forgiveness and journey back to nothingness of mind I can actually become a advocate for and respect life here in the physical rather then an idea of perceived freedom through ignorance of what cost that idea actually comes at.

Thanks that’s all for now.

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