259. War media SF.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the true sense of the word of nobility where one stands within oneself as a example and self realization of equality and oneness, and not a point of nobility being a point of supporting the current system without consideration of if that system is in fact something that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with sympathy for those that have given there lives to fight and die for a system that is best for all.

Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then react to the reaction in feeling that those that gave up there lives was meaningless and judge those that fight as being stupid and ignorant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply not realize that war is a symptom of the system that I currently inhabit.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand that I am personally responsible to the propagation of this system within the choices and actions that I choose to make.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the idea that good vs evil exist and is the actuality of the matter of why we go to war within ourselves, not seeing or realizing that this is really a outward representation of what is actually happening within the mind of myself and within the minds of each of us.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become enamored with the idea of war.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold the idea that self sacrifice is a point of nobility.

I forgive myself to not accept and allow myself to realize that the act of brotherhood that is generate within those that go through combat is actually form within pre programmed conditions of competition that have been instilled within me from within the culture that I was born into.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the idea that war is inevitable and necessary, and within this that the brotherhood that is formed between those involved within warfare and combat is special, important, and acceptable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to this bonds where that value is seen within me as being something that is more than the reality of equality and oneness to life as all physical existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into watching these documentaries with a starting point that is not clear.

I forgive myself to accept and allow this bastardization of my personal values seek out and fulfill a interest in finding out about combat and warfare wherein I have been interested in seeking out material that is steeped in warfare and combat to stimulate those types of feelings within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become disappointed when I feel like the material is not “real” from the perspective of not a reflection of something legitimate, and not stopping myself to see that those feelings in themselves are actually not real, and as yet a refraction from the way that we human beings actually are conducting ourselves here on earth, and believing this to be normal, unavoidable, and the truth of the matter.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place a requirement in what I watch where initially the realizations that came up where within a reaction in which I noticed the points that I was looking for stimulation created a point of friction with the things that I want to experience.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the split personality that I have generated where I want to believe in the bond of combat, and want to see some kind of value within that bond like it is something that is real and justified.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight against the reality of myself in the realization that all is one and equal by believing and desiring the point where a bond of beings born within combat is greater then the bond of life shared by all existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this desire to hold sway over me and my ability to see the reality of equality and oneness in any way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that many forms of war documentation with stand within some kind of bias where one side is the “good”/”light, and one “bad”/”darkness”.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself the realization that both sides of any conflict are inherently blind to the message being said, where both sides will see the fault and general evil done by the other, and within this the entire point of what a war actually means is lost.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that war is simply a way for one culture to assert and impose it will and ideals onto another wherein the culture being attacked has not conceded to the idea and self definition of the dominance of the attacking culture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not to realize then that the main point of war is maintain the standard of living for a particular sect of humanity at the expense of another.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that war itself is not a point of nobility to those involved and that what can happen to those involve is actually closer to a dependency, a addition that can cause massive separation and psychological damage to the soldiers and civilians involved.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being a soldier is something that is glamorous and something to look up to, when the reality of the situation shows that veterans actually describe going into combat as a experience kin to drug addiction where it becomes a compulsion that they cannot escape from for the most part.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the pointlessness of the justification of warfare as it stands, where we simply do not look at the real reasons why war is promoted and perpetuated within society, which is to maintain the status quo, and keep the cogs of materialism and capitalism grinding away.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the average person does not know about or care about what we actually go to war for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare those that do not know or care with myself and within this experience a point of sorrow within myself in which I sympathize with the soldiers that I see in movies/documentaries where I see the pointless nature of their struggles for a populace that on the one had hate the idea of war, but on the other revels in the splendor of the spoils of war which is free market capitalism.

I forgive myself for secretly accepting and allowing myself to buy into this as well which is highlighted within me by the reluctance to stand up within myself and stop the mind, where I change myself from a being who is addicted to energy to one that stands firm within the principles of equality and oneness in every moment and every decision.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to through belief within this create and separate myself from the consequences of war, where beings will dies and others brainwashed and coerced to kill unscrupulously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into idea of glamor, nobility, and excitement that is generated from within warfare where I myself give the attention and psychological energy into and as those points within myself, therefore within me saying that these things are OK and enjoyable to experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing violence to be a self definition of which I live by.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to gain this self definition through the choices that I have made and where I have placed my attention and focus during my upbringing in the course of my life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize how indoctrinated I still was/am within this point of warfare, where I buy into the whole thing just based within and on a culture mandate, for one, war is noble/cool/exciting, but also buying to the systematic societal point of having to support capitalism.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see beyond my cultural conditioning, and realize that the common sense within the principles of equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within this not realize that within my cultural conditioning I am actually fully responsible for the wars themselves since I am using and living within a system that is upheld by war.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the wars that exist today are really a by-product of the consumerist lifestyle that I have lived for my whole life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in shame and anguish when I realize that fact.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the solutions that are available to me within standing up and taking personal responsibility for the choices and path of my own life wherein whatever way that I can I reinvent myself to a living expression of oneness and equality with life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to fully dive into the point of learning as much about how the system functions as yet so as to establish a clearer understanding within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself believing that I know enough about how the system works to get by and become effective when actually I can see that this is just a justification to not take more care to investigate myself and the system at large in specificity.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop all of the small points of separation yet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not seeing and taking seriously what is really important which is to create a world that is best for all and not stand within acceptance of violence and warfare because of some apparent experiences that are generated no matter how righteous the point of nobility within loss seems to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not place the effort that I see that I am able to in creating that world and instead just stand within a point of self interest where I only look to satisfy my own conditions for happiness/contentedness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the true essence of bravery which entails standing up to ones mind and all of things that I have build up within me as my fears and phobias, and not realizing that within this acceptance I am really giving up not only on myself but I am giving it in for the rest of humanity since if I am able to see a solution and not grasp for it, not act on it then I am in fact a different but not less potent form of evil.

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