263. Taking directive ability and addressing the specifics.

So this is a post from over a couple days.

So within the theme of the post that I have been writing, something that I notice is how I have this tendency to look for the most profound points to write about. Within this it has lead me to end up taking on points that are part of much larger systems within me. And while I do see the support for myself within this, something that comes up is that I tend to loose focus and sight of the initial point. It becomes difficult for me to maintain my line of investigation within a point because often it ends up leading me into many other areas.

So here I would like to just write about and do self forgiveness on the point of slowing myself down and taking on the specific points once again within my day/life.

I notice that something that happens is that I within looking for a point that is bigger is I am going out to far ahead of where I currently stand. Like I am not actually standing within the words that I am writing in complete self application or even my ability to stand within those words at all. So it makes sense to slow myself down within my process and just focus on specific systems, words, and experiences that I have rather then looking for the deep roots of ideas that I have built up within my mind about things.

I notice that I should be able to walk through the specific moments that come up, pick one and work within it. Why do I not want to walk through the small stuff, the simple stuff first? I see that what I have been doing is that I want to make this process something more then what it is. I have become unconsciously impatient within myself, and in doing this I see that I am overstepping myself, its like I am see the points that I still struggle with and I am looking to solve those now. And example/analogy would be like trying to walk or run and telling myself in the mind that I can walk/run faster then this and force my legs to go faster, but the rest of me cannot keep up and I keep outrunning myself and falling. I have not placed the foundation/training in place to move faster. And I keep wondering why I keep falling within the basics.

Breathing is a perfect example of this, no matter how much writing I have done within/about these profound points within me I still am having a difficult time just remaining here within breathe. Even though I see that this is primary point within this process, I still get drawn off into all sorts of tangents within my mind. That point of stability has yet to be establish within me and this is the reason why I cannot seem to stay on track when it comes to everything else.

So a cool point of support that I learned about within my dip course would be that it does not matter what I am doing or what is going on within me that I can always just stop the mind at any time, take back my directive ability and remember that I AM HERE.

So within this I can see how even within this post there is a tendency for me to go off on some tangent making the specific point lose it focus and try to move to fast looking…searching for the reason within ideas, instead of walking out the solutions within self forgiveness.

SO here I will go into some self forgiveness on the point of not sticking with the specifics
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold a tendency/habit within myself by constantly looking for the most profound point to write about believing that this is the way that I will find clarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to overlook the specific points that come up within my day as the points that actually require my attention, despite how the look to be of smaller importance to me in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that within each moment the point of clarity must be present and that in the end the bigger points are actually a accumulation of all of the other points in what has created the more of me experience where I look to generate myself as something more then life through these larger systems within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself then to overstep myself within my approach to my self forgiveness process in believing that the larger points and systems are actually more important to work through/on then the smaller ones, when in reality they are all simply points of separation within myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and utilize the smaller points within myself as a point of working within what I am able to see clearly and work with effectively.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how following the larger points often will not let me see the finer specifics and within this can become lost and frustrated within myself since I am not yet able to see clearly why I continue to fall.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and make my writing and what I take on bigger then where I currently stand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this to happen from within a self judgment of where I should be within my process in comparison with other beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to stand ahead of where I am because I do not like what I have accepted and allowed myself to be within the past and within this creating a experience of friction within me since I am not standing within acceptance of where I am now.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I stand ahead of myself I am not really even allowing myself to be here and one with the words that I am typing fully and within that basically am writing from a place of the mind first rather then awareness and realization through a process of walking each specific point as it comes.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down to the point where I can see clearly how it is that I a experiencing myself within each moment of breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself only to place the focus on the end point of not having systems anymore and thus make the topics of my application about the profound, when really what is something that I can work with is how I am creating and experiencing myself within each moment of separation and how I can take back those moments and build self trust through the application of the Desteni tools.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to walk through the points that come up at any given time and work with those points rather then working the other way around and trying to solve the effect points of how the world works current without even looking at how the cause of how I works specifically.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desiring myself to make this process something more then what it currently is within myself and continuously look for the biggest points to work with rather then finding the specific personal points that keep popping in the way of allowing my to remain stable here within breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and run when I am yet unable to walk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how this is actually a clear indication of why I continue to fall on the basic foundational points of remaining present within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my breathing is the perfect indication of where I am yet overstepping myself where I am making all sorts of statements and commitments that do not really reflect who I am within the moment in actuality of myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be OK with where I am within my process and in this place myself outside of where I am by projecting ideas and points that I believe to be more important then what I face within my personal world at the forefront of my attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how this point is almost unconscious where I do not even notice how I take the focus from being about something that I am doing within myself to something that is extrapolated to the external world when I am not entirely clear within myself how I function completely.

I forgive myself within this for accepting and allowing myself to believe the since I have not taken care of all the personal points within my mind that I am not able to make observations about the world that I live within and how it functions with some degree of clarity, but it stands to reason that I should be able to keep the focus of my process on myself at this stage to make sure that what I am doing is clear from ego and self interested intentions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilt for losing my focus within even a short post such as this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the main point within understanding where my process is real and where it is not real is within a point of self honesty where I am allowing myself to stand within trust of myself and who I am within each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must search out the answers to all of the problems that come up within myself and my life, instead of see this as point walk through the points that come up as they come up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that sometimes I may not see the initial point of what I am facing, but realize that this is OK, and I should not judge myself within that and it is the walking of my process that is really the important point to become perfect about where I can trust myself to stick to the commitments that I make and the responsibilities that I have set for myself within my world.

Self corrective statements

When and as I see myself holding myself within a pattern/habit of things thinking/believing that the way to find clarity within my process is to look for the most profound points to write about, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that this is actually a point of not working within what is in front of me and accepting that the things that are happening to me and what I am reacting to are actually the points that require my attention.

I commit myself to work with the points that come up within me in a real time manner where I learn to address the points that are right here as the main points that will allow me to find clarity within my day to day living.

When and as I see myself placing these points that I view as being more profound as the primary point of value within my world, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that those points are actually a result of the accumulation of the smaller points within my life and are actually a result of not standing with stability within breathe in my life as a series of moments.

So thus I commit myself to realize that all points of separation are actually that, points of separation and they are ALL actually the same in terms of having to be dealt with.

I commit myself to realize that the smaller points are actually a point of common sense and self honesty to work with since they are points that I can have direct ability to work with and see that I have immediate ability to change.

I commit myself to work within the principle of breathe where I can actually test out my application in real time by see that if I am existent within a structure of thought/feeling/emotion then I am not clear within that moment and that something within that exact moment is requiring my attention and application of the tools of self forgiveness and self correction.

I commit myself to then to work within those points in real time where if I see myself going into a pattern of thoughts about a particular point, I use my ability to first stop and then apply self forgiveness for that point.

I commit myself to realize the effectiveness of actually walking my application for myself out loud, and seeing that this is really the point of self honesty where I able to be most effective for and within myself.

When and as I see myself desiring to take on large systems within me from the point of wanting to rush ahead and deconstruct those larger systems, I stop myself and breathe, and within this realize that within that point of wanting to take on whole systems at once it does not make sense, since this will take time and within the point of working within a particular aspect each day I will simply not have the time available AND see that by attempting to take on these larger points I always tend to miss out on the finer details of the systems and then in actually do not completely remove the system.

I commit myself to slow down the process of which I take on my mind to a point of being able to see and apply forgiveness clearly within each consecutive point.

I commit myself to slow myself down when looking for a point to write about and within that stop the jumping to the most profound experience that I can see, and instead just look for the things that make the most sense and relevance to me in what I see came up throughout my day.

I commit myself to realize that within the smaller specific points lies the potential to make actual profound realizations for myself and that the point of focus within this blog is not to downplay profound realizations but to actually stop the seeking out of the profound topics/systems/experiences/points as a requirement for me to write about, and remove the projection of that requirement throughout my process of writing.
When and as I am continuing to make this about the end point/goal of my process and allow that to influence my choice of what I look for within my application, I stop myself and breathe and instead learn to trust myself by walking with the desteni tools as a point of realization of how they are able to be utilize on a moment to moment basis.

I commit myself to apply the desteni tools of self forgiveness and self corrective application in and as any point of separation comes up as a realization that this is the were the actual ability for me to stand up within myself lies.

I commit myself to walk the points that I do not necessarily see as being profound in the realization that these points are actually the point of accumulation of which the larger systems are generated from and within that realize that becoming directive within each points is actually more effective, as well as time efficient then looking for always the larger and more prominent/profound points within my process.

I commit myself to become more efficient within my application so I am not constantly looking for the the points that will make me feel like I accomplished the most, and within this I commit myself to understand and implement that the point of deconstruction of my mind is really not so much about finding the large points but really about working with the points that are coming up with consistency.

I commit myself to understand that working with larger points is something that can always be done and that it is not like I should not work with large points entirely but what is relevant to my daily living and about a point of self honesty where I can clearly see the requirement for taking on larger points within myself.

I commit myself to work out where I actually stand within my process and work from there instead of looking for the large points and jumping ahead of myself.

So when and as I see myself not allowing myself to word with simplicity I stop myself and breathe and take myself back to a application of myself where I am looking at the things that are really relevant to how I live daily.

I commit myself to discern the things that matter within my process of application, and follow the principles of equality and oneness within those choices of where I apply myself, realizing that often the solutions lay simply within specific words and ideas that I carry around on a surface level.

I commit myself to realize that each word that I use may have a specific charge that I give it within myself and that this is a cool area to start deconstructing my mind attachments and judgments.

When and as I see myself attempting to make my writing more then what I current understand I stop myself and breathe and bring myself back to a point of awareness of myself here in the physical reality and realize that this is where I can be sure that I am being self honest within remaining clear.

I commit myself to recognize where I actually stand within my process and to stop making myself try and be something more then where I really am.

When and as I see myself walking outside of my current time line as a response to where I see other beings are within there processes, I stop myself and breathe, seeing how this is simply a point of competition that is still existent within myself where I am just reaction to another within comparison of where they are.

I commit myself to remove completely the point of comparison with others walking process and fully come to the understanding that this is my process to walk, and that finding my time line within my own application of the tools and principles is about SELF honesty.

When and as I see myself looking to stand ahead of where I current can see that I am, writing about the large profound points that I can see in the distance, I stop myself and breathe, and realize that what is happening is that I am reacting to a point of self judgment towards what I have accepted and allowed within my past.

I commit myself to let go of the guilt that I hold onto about myself from the past, and instead realize that what really matters within this process is how I conduct and apply myself here now within each consecutive moment.

And within that point I commit myself to see how looking to remedy that with jumping ahead and making my process about finding the most profound things to write about is really just a projection from a reaction to my past failures and mistakes.

I commit myself to realize that by jumping ahead within my process as a point of reaction I am not even allowing myself to be completely here within the words that I am writing and within that I lose out on a opportunity to actually be here within my words.

I commit myself to see how this actually becomes a point of just writing from the mind which really amounts to very little changes and real self realization.

I commit myself to then work with the specific points in which I can clearly see the points from a perspective of knowing where I stand in relation to that point.

I commit myself to then take on the point within a starting point of awareness of myself and where the separation actually lies within the point so I am not just looking to write from a point of sounding profound.

I commit myself to use common sense within the application of my writing so I can see that if I am not clear within the starting point of why, what I choose to take on in writing that I can stop and flag point that topic/system for another time and revisit it without thinking that I am giving up on the larger picture.

When and as I see myself looking to run within my process by looking for the largest points to work with rather then finding the specific points that come up within my day, I stop myself and breathe, and within that recognize that in slowing myself down I am able to lay down the foundation for me to move faster.

I commit myself to see how the foundation of my process lies within the consistency of my application and not the size of the systems that I a willing to take on.

I commit myself to see that regardless how much I would like to be free from my mind that I must recognize that this is a process and every process has steps and stages to it.

I commit myself to see how working with my specifics during my day I am able to form self trust and self respect because I am willing to walk through my day with consistency and learn the integrity that is needed to actually free myself from my mind.

I commit myself to see and realize that this is the main reason why I continue to have this experience of not being able to stand for very long within breathe because I have not committed to the point of really taking on my thoughts in the moment, and still giving value within them instead.

I commit myself to stop allowing my thoughts take hold as points of curiosity within them and from there just get pulled into the wake of my thoughts into a thought stream.

And thus I commit myself to stop giving value to my thoughts, realizing that this will not be easy since I have been addicted to the mind for so long, but if I am to free myself from my ego then it is necessary to stop giving into the mind.

When and as I see myself still not allowing myself to become comfortable within breathing and notice myself just letting my mind go off on all sorts of tangents instead I stop myself and breathe, realizing that this is the primary point within which I stand, understanding that breathe is my point of stability within a lifetime of mind energy.

I commit myself to just breathe whenever I notice myself going into mind movements, even when I am sooo tempted to just follow the stream of thoughts, I stop, and remember that within breathe I am here, I am clear.

I commit myself to understand that within breathe I am able to walk myself out of the mind in such a way that makes sense and that this is where I can be sure of myself when I am choosing what is relevant for me to focus on within my process.

I commit myself to realize that when I make decisions from within breathe there is a clear difference to the movement of myself than from when I move myself from a point of mind friction where typically there is all sorts of energetic experiences and thoughts that go along within the decision/movement.

I commit myself see how when I make decisions from the mind on what to focus on/write about within my process I usually overstep where I actually stand within my process.

I commit myself to stop making commitments and statements that do not reflect where I actually stand within yet and instead just focus on the things that I can see really need my attention and are relevant within my process today at this stage.

I commit myself to be OK within where I currently stand and see how this simple point of self acceptance is a vital part of learning to walk within self trust.

I commit myself to stop believing that the ideas I have about “out there” are really more important then the small specific things that are happening to me, and within this downplaying my very beingness and making myself inferior to the points that happen “out there”.

So I commit myself to walk with myself so I do not anymore place my journey back to life in a inferior placement of the journey of earth and creation and instead understand that my journey is that journey in action.

When and as I see myself shifting the focus from my internal self and extrapolating it to the external world, I stop myself and breathe, realizing that I have not been directing myself within awareness of myself and bring myself back to alignment with breathe making sure I am clear before proceeding.

I commit myself to realize and keep myself awareness on on my breathe and realize that I have always tricked myself within the points with subtlety, where I do not even notice when I go of the rails at times.

I commit myself to bring myself back to breathe whenever I find myself of track.

I commit myself to realize that the point within this process is not to deny or control what to write about and that making observations about the world that I/we live in is cool when approached with clarity, but also to understand that within my personal process I should be mostly keeping the points in relation to what I am experiencing within me at this early stage.

And thus I commit myself to continuously keep bringing myself back here where I can stand within breathe and learn to trust that breathe as the life giving force within me and stop the idea that the mind is that force.

When and as I see myself continuing to lose focus and I go into a point of guilt about it, I stop myself and breathe and within that fully understand that this is how it is going to be until I actually stand up within me and walk through everything so, within that realization I commit myself to stop feeling the point of guilt as a way to just slow myself down and place a wall in front of myself.

I commit myself to just walk through the points as I see them as they come up and forget about trying to solve all the mysteries of my life all the time, and realize that that is a crazy and impossible task that I set for myself in which I will always end up falling and failing and cycling around within a guilt point.

So thus I commit myself to the small points even though I do not in my mind want to see the importance of them or take them seriously, and realize that walking in stability and clarity is the key to this process.

I commit myself to see the difference between what is real and what is mind is always within a point of self honesty where I am walking within principle within myself, just breathe within the moment, trusting myself and knowing where I am within each breathe.

And so I commit myself to just be fine with the speed and pace of the realizations that come through and while pushing through the resistances within applying myself within process to always realize that any realization will come up naturally and anything that I force is actually only a mind projection of the what I believe/want the truth to be within my mind.

I commit myself to this process of mind deconstruction and trust myself in walking it for me, realizing that within the specific points that relate to myself within my process and taking directive ability within that I am the one who begins to stand and walk myself back from being a slave to my mind to a actual real being who takes value in life as equal and one with myself.

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