269. Interests vs Potential.

Last night I was doing some investigation into financial literacy. I was looking at banks, credit unions, (I did not realize even what a credit union was), online banks. I have recently been really attempting to figure out which path I should walk, and where I can be most effective within my life, what I would be satisfied with, and how I would best fit into bringing about a world that is best for all. I mean I can see that I have the potential for many things. I suppose the battle that I have in the past always fought with myself has to do with motivation and procrastination. I am getting much better with this, and while I am going to continue improving and refining myself in those areas now I can see that the biggest point that I am facing within this search is time. How to identify the points of priority and how to practically schedule myself.

I was looking at financial literacy courses last night on those free online courses, and invariably got pulled into the vast slew of resources, and class subjects. It was like “WOW, there is always so many interesting things that I could learn and pursue.” I was trying to figure out what would be useful to me, how could I benefit from physics knowledge? Chemistry? City water planning? So many things that would be potentially useful, but I mean really I noticed in the end that all of those are well just interesting things to learn. I realized that I don’t have the time to start more then one or two of these classes at a time as even though they only average from 2-6 hours a week that would really tighten up my schedule already. So I decided to go with one course that was more to do with getting my reality on track within my financial world, expand my financial literacy and one more of a exploratory course to see if I am actually interested in engineering. I also see it that is it will be necessary explore the aspect of public speaking at some point to face the fears that I see I have become programed as, and define myself by. I see that these points especially have much to do with expanding myself, facing myself within my fear of rejection and ability to work hard at things that I would not normally pursue. I see the points within my financial and public speaking areas as the most prominent in facing since they are the areas that I have the most friction towards, whereas engineering would be more about learning a new area of interest and working hard to apply myself in a new field.

So within all this I am going to have to really continue to become more effective and regimented with how I use my time. What I choose to do and when I do it. And to start realizing the actuality within my world about what is really relevant to my ability to experience myself effectively and what are only points of interest.

I will have to learn the skill of self management and learn to practice the self honesty and integrity that is required to make the most out of my time each day, stop wasting my time within areas that are of no practical use. I can see the potential for becoming overwhelmed and ultimately giving up but I must realize that the point here is really about finding my potential as a being here. Becoming effective within my life is not about denying the things that I enjoy, as I am frequently giving into as the prominent point of fear as why things in my life never get done, but to actually highlight my appreciation of those things by realizing myself within the things that I see will allow me to become a actual life force within the world, and will allow me to make bigger movements within my world and expand my influence, and ultimately design my life so I will have more time for things that I enjoy in the future, as well as create that reality for others.

The first step which I will cover over the next few days is what is it that I would actually be satisfied with in my life. Where would I be cool seeing myself, as it stands I have large dreams about money and within that I see that I have somewhat blocked myself from ever even starting to walk in any practical sense towards those dreams because they are so large. So firstly organizing my internal world, letting go of the dreams and instead working with what is realistic and available to me today.

So in the posts to follow I will start investigating the points that I see as real possibilities for me to walk, and why I still stunt myself from walking within them. As well as taking on those big dreams and figuring out what is the real reasons for holding value within those dreams.

Thanks for reading.

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