270. Coming out of orbit.

Continuing with the last post I have been working with a point of how to prioritize and designate my time better, so as to become more effective within my ability to really live out my potential. Over the past couple days I have not succeeded. I spent quite a bit of my time learning about Astronomy. I like this idea of space. I am curious about how everything functions. I have a desire to go to space, and although I realize that this is fairly fruitless desire, and more about fun then anything else, it still exists, and is fuel for some kind of sadness. Perhaps its like one more point of “what I could have been” within me and I hold that against myself.

So the point within this blog is that things like studying astronomy is not something that I realize is going to really change my life in any significant way. I am able to become more effective and stabilize within my world if I focus mostly on the areas where I can actually show some change. I can work on myself rather then looking out there for this something better.

Astronomy is a cool area to learn about as a point of interest but it will not allow me to place myself within this world as any real point of influence. I will not be able to sufficiently move myself within that field in any sort of prevalence to support real world change.

So in this I see that this is a area that I should let go of to the point of not lending to much of my active time in pursuing. I should instead focus my time on grounding myself here on earth designating my time into areas where I see myself actually placing myself in a position to make my world stable first. It is undoubtedly apparent that this involves money. It involves standing where I am effective in money and time management to the point where I place myself in this world where I can actually have a voice. This does not mean I have to become immensely rich like I see other beings within society and remove the point of comparison to these beings, and instead bring back the focus once more to a placement of myself within facing the true potential of me and having courage to face the fear points that come up within those areas.

I know this will take time. I know that it will take patience with myself, but will also require me to stand in each moment and reevaluate what is really going to be the best for all as best for myself in each moment. I can see where I will have to step beyond my mind in those areas of fear and walk through them, creating a new me, a me that can handle the fear of standing up and being seen. This is the main point for me where I still fear being seen and heard, which is not acceptable.

So I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place importance on astronomy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself this importance to overshadow my willingness to walk a realistic path within my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this interest in Astronomy within myself to be driven and generated within a feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my capability within that interest to absorb knowledge and information, and use that ability to confirm to myself that this is something that is worth pursuing when actually this is point of squandering my time and focus within a area of study that will ultimately not stabilize my life in any way.

I forgive myself for letting this become a point of priority rather then something that I can give attention to when I have free time, making this a point of interest rather then pursuit within my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold a feeling of guilt and shame about my vision of myself and my capability within Astronomy where I view this as a missed opportunity within my life and hold myself within that guilt for it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself within a point of sadness about this and thus move myself within a starting point of desperation, to learn as much and as fast as I can, to “catch up within that field”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use Astronomy as a point of distraction within myself to not apply me within the areas of my life where I actually see that I could be and am effective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chase the dream of going into space instead of realizing and coming to full acceptance of where the world currently stands within space exploration.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself the realization that if I REALLY do care about going into space that I should be able to place myself within this world as so as to make that opportunity a reality for other beings as myself in the future.

And so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself stagnate because I consistently am looking for something better to pursue within my life instead of working with what is actually available to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief within me that I can actually make some kind of significant change within this field, and in the grand scheme of things not accept the point that space exploration flight is not even a point of relevance to the human condition as it stands today.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to ground me, and realize that my time could be used in a much more relevant and meaningful manner which starts with learning the skills and dedication that it takes to stabilize myself within my own world first, in relation to life as equality and oneness, as well as to money which will allow me the ability to move myself and make influence a possibility within the starting point of myself in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must become totally wealthy to have a voice within this world and not accepting that the main point to consider within this is HOW I conduct myself within my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not see how this belief/desire to have tons of money is actually based within a comparison wit other being in this world and that I and actually just putting myself in a position of self-pity, where I view those with money with jealousy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being seen within my life, and realizing that the jealousy that I hold towards people that are successful is really only highlights my own hesitation to stand up within myself and be counted one vote for equality. Be heard as one voice.

OK I will stop here for now and continue with the self corrective statements in the next post.

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